Look at these beautiful flowers that arrived today. I was definitely surprised to say the least. The extra family/friendship I have gained from surrogacy is something I often struggle to put into words. The love and support I share with these 3 women are beyond what I ever dreamed or expected. We all share something most others will never understand. We have been together during some of the most important and exciting times of each other’s lives. We have also been together through some of the saddest and most difficult.
These women/families have literally seen me naked pushing out their babies. Poor Molly and Jon watched me bleed out. They have watched me cry and held me for epidurals. Let me squeeze hands while I was pushing and held my super heavy legs up. 😆
So often you hear of mean, jealous, gossiping women. We have all met women like this. I am happy to say I have created friendships and bonds with women that are 100% not like that! I love that through all my journeys I have built real life long friends. Molly was so supportive and excited when I helped Jenn! Now here Jenn is being so supportive when I try to help Karen. The exciting texts and calls for big days don’t go unnoticed. I love that we all share something that no one else could possibly understand.
I’m sad these women couldn’t carry their own babies but how blessed am I that I was able to meet them because of it. My life would be so very different without all these people in it.
Jenn these flowers mean more then you know. Your family and our friendship is such a wonderful gift to me and my family.
Molly and Karen have called multiple times sent texts and left sweet messages checking in on me. It’s all these things that make the hard times worth it. I know the exciting times are coming and all the sad hard times will be worth it. ❤️
People tell me over and over how wonderful or special I am. Seriously my hand to God I am the one to have been blessed beyond measure by these families I have helped. It’s indescribable. 🥰
So my last post was 4dp 4dt and I was holding strong with not testing. My symptoms were definitely there. Me smelling odd things super strongly. Peeing what felt like too often. Mild cramps from time to time. But that was it nothing else was really happening. I kept checking my boobs to see if they hurt or if my face is breaking out.
Basically an hour or two at most after I made my last blog post I caved and went to check how many tests were actually still in the bag from last time and then I figured well I already got them out what if I just go ahead and take one… ugggg why do I do this to myself. I had like 4 or 5 cheap Walmart ones and only one FRER. (First response early response) So then I’m like well what one do I take? I hate to waste the expensive 8.00 test if it’s too early anyway, But what if the cheap one won’t pick it up but the frer would?
So I ended up deciding if I’m going to do it I’ll just do the cheap one and if I thought maybe something was there I could always still take the frer. So at 2:00 it would be exactly 4dp 5dt. So I figured I would wait until exactly 2:00. So I peed in my cup and used the dropper to take the test. As soon as I was done I instantly felt dread. I left the room and set the timer for 10 mins before I went back to check it. Then I was a little mad at myself for caving. I couldn’t help but worry what if it didn’t work this time too. I mean I basically felt the same except for the smelling stuff and peeing. I just prayed a lot and kept checking on my white chicken chili to pass the time. 😆
When time was up I went to the bathroom to check and I kept telling myself it’s ok if nothing is there because it’s obviously still very early and I’ll be ok either way. When I picked up the test I was literally shocked 😳 like crazy shocked! There was definitely a line. Not like a shadow or check it by tilting it twice under direct sunlight to see haha. This is funny because it’s so true we do this stuff looking for a line or a start of a line. So then I was shaking and couldn’t believe it was actually there and bright. It just kept getting darker the more I looked at it. So obviously for science 🧪 I had to take the other test now just to make sure it would show up too!
I could hear Ricky in the kitchen making himself lunch so I went in and showed him the test too. (Just to make sure) He said great give it here. He could see it too. He was so excited and said he didn’t even have to squint to see this one. I was happy to know I wasn’t crazy. So then I went back to see the frer because that one only takes 3 minutes. You guys I could see it on there too!!! My heart was so so happy. I was so scared my body just wasn’t going to do what the baby needed or something was wrong with me. I know that’s not how it works but I still secretly blamed myself a little.
So then I felt good like so so good. I felt bad for not telling J right away but I was also terrified what if I took another and it wasn’t there like last time. I didn’t want to feel like I let her down again. Ricky insisted I not tell her until I got another test to make sure things were looking good.
Ok so fast forward to Saturday morning this was 5dp a 5dt well at 2:00 it would be. We decided to go walk around down town St Charles Main Street. I wanted to test before we left but didn’t want the test to not look as bright since I didn’t wait very long. So I waited as long as I could and just did it. You guys BAM it was freaking bright. I told Ricky I bet this would show up on a digital test. He said well take one then. So I did. I wasn’t sure if it would work or not. I told him if it showed on a digital then I was definitely calling J because I couldn’t keep this from her any longer. The digital took forever but it finally popped up and to my surprise it said pregnant. 🥰
I FaceTimed J and baby Leaf was there too. I asked him if he wanted to be a big brother and put the test up to the camera. I was so excited and nervous I couldn’t keep my hand still 😂 I was shaking so bad. Obviously we are all so excited but still trying to be cautious. This is exciting but it’s still so early. We decided to ask the clinic today if we could go a day earlier for our blood work and they said yes! So tomorrow I go for our first beta blood draw. Once we get a baseline number I will go back on Friday to get another and see how the numbers double. Thanks everyone for all the support and prayers we for sure appreciate them. I’m so glad I get to share happy news this time.
Well not quite. At 2:00 ish it will be 2 days since that’s actually about the time they put the baby in me 😂. I had some mild cramping after and that’s about it. It’s so hard for me because obviously you try to feel every little thing going on in your body hoping it’s a sign of things working and baby growing. I never really get any symptoms of pregnancy anyway. I guess that’s why I enjoy being pregnant so much lol. Once I’m for sure pregnant I do usually break out a bit more then normal and I get tired the first trimester but that’s about it.
Our plane ride home last night was crappy to say the least. They made me check a bag even though I knew it would fit. Plus I had specifically asked the people at the desk where you check bags and the man assured me it would be fine. Then as I’m getting on the plane the woman tells me I have to check it!!! Ugggg I was so frustrated. So by the time we got on there was no more open rows so Ricky and I had to sit with strangers. Plus the lady next to me decided the open middle seat was her’s. Not to mention her bag clearly didn’t fit under her seat.
I know it was dumb to get so frustrated over such dumb things but my hormones are crazy and so therefore I’m crazy too! 😂 I’m glad to be home though in my own bed. I slept so great last night. Our dog and cat missed us a lot. 💓 They slept with us last night.
I’m still terrified to test this time and feel the way I did last time. But I’m also terrified of waiting and pretending it’s all going to be perfect and then getting blindsided by the dr calling. I do still have some tests left over from last time in case I decide I want to test. I think I’m going to just enjoy the unknown for awhile longer this time though.
Thanks as always for all the prayers and encouragement. Hopefully this time everything works out perfectly and I get to share much happier news with everyone.
Today I went for an ultrasound to make sure my body was responding well to the meds. I also get to start some estrogen today! This is great news because the Lupron makes me have hot flashes and be extra grouchy. The estrogen will level me out again and they will begin building my lining up to where they want it to put baby in. We have about 3 weeks before transfer now. The shots have been going well I’m basically a pro at them since I’ve done this 3 times already. I’m already excited and thinking about pregnancy tests and baby kicks. My next ultrasound is next week and I’ll do blood work with that one also. Until then I’ll keep praying for baby and my body to do what it needs too. let’s also pray for Ricky dealing with my slight mood issues and hot flashes. I’m stealing blankets and then kicking them all off. 😂
This week has been crazy! All the meds were delivered and contracts are finally done! Woohoo 🥳. Tonight I get to do my first Lupron shot, these are the easy ones. They basically put my body into menopause so hello hormones, headaches and night sweats. 😂 eventually I’ll be able to take some estrogen that will help even me back out. I’ll add some pictures of all the meds I have to keep track of. Just keeping track of all the meds is like a full time job! I’m already so excited for this sweet little baby! I love him or her so much and have been praying my body is a great home for the next 10ish months. 😍
Yep it’s me again 😂. So our fun Florida trip wasn’t just about beaches and fun in the sun. I also had a drs appointment with the reproductive endocrinologist (RE) there! My last IPs (intended parents) have been wanting baby number 2 for a bit now. Our original plan was to wait until after our Disney trip in august/September. Obviously Disney is not happening for us this year 😢. So we decided may as well get into baby making. So we started calling our lawyer’s and making plans for my medical screening. Good news is screening went great he said my uterus looks perfect. That’s a big compliment from a RE! So as of now as long as things go according to plan with contracts I will be starting meds on July 20th!!! Bring on all the shots. Then the plan is to do the transfer of baby on August 20th. I’m already praying for this sweet baby. I want my belly to be a perfect home for him or her for the long haul. We would appreciate all the love and prayers and happy thoughts you all have to offer. I’ll be updating as often as I can. I seriously can’t believe I’ve had 5 babies and planning for a number 6! What an incredible body I have. I’m so happy I can use it to help other’s. We also got a super cute picture of us while social distancing of course. 😆 I can’t believe this guy is almost 2!
Ok so I just got a email from my agency that we get to do our match call with the couple on this SATURDAY at 2:00!!!! I’m SO SO scared and nervous. I haven’t said this yet but I like them so much already they seem so sweet and loving in there information they gave me. Not that I didn’t like the other profiles I saw but the only way I can describe it is like house hunting. I really liked the first one and two but then when you see the next your like WOW this is really the one! I just feel it I know lots could still go wrong but I’m trusting God to send me the perfect couple for us and our family. I’m so very excited to hear their voices and talk with them I hope the conversation is easy and flows well. I really hope there is a connection for all of us. I’m most worried there will be a lot of awkward silence. I don’t know why I worry about that I mean I’m the most outgoing person ever lol. This is a huge step for us last time I got to this point they called the day before to say the couple had a family emergency and had to leave the country I hope I get no crazy calls tomorrow! Please keep praying and I can’t wait to update Saturday! !!!
Ok so they still can’t read my medical records from 2010!!!! So my agency emailed me and said if my doctor would talk to them then they think it may be good enough. I’m so worried my Dr is AMAZING and very supportive of this whole thing so I’m pretty sure she will be ok with talking to there dr but I’m still worried what if she dosnt I mean I’m sure this is a little beyond the call of duty… I just love this couple so much and don’t want anything else to screw it up!!! I mean everyone else seems to get matched right away and be on there way to taking meds and transfers. I hope my doctor is ok with all this. Ill try to keep everyone updated as much as I can please keep praying for me!!!
Ok well there is another couple that likes me!!!! I LOVE them I have a amazing feeling about them there doctor is going to look at my med records (I’m not worried) I have been cleared from some of the top doctors in the country already!!! After that as long as nothing crazy happenes ill be able to do my match call with them!!! I hate to get my hopes up yet again…. but I know God will bring me the right couple and it will be a amazing thing for all of us. They live in Chicago like the last couple so that’s great news!!!! I love the idea of them getting to come to doctors apointments and hopefully spending time together to get to know each other!!! I’m hoping to have a great friendship with this couple. I also had to take my psychology test and boy was that crazy lol. It was almost 600 questions all true or false but some were so odd like do you have unusual sex WHAT???? Lol I mean what do they think is unusual I think were pretty usual kinnda people! they also asked if I ever talk to people or animals that no one else sees lol and they asked like three times if I loved my mom! Good news I passed lol. I wanted to fill one out all crazy as a joke but I figured this was not a joke kind of time lol. So once my med records are cleared we can do our phone call and get moving. I hope this all goes fast I know they said it may take there doctor till next week to go over the papers but I hope he can make some time to do it soon I suck at waiting! So lets all keep praying and I hope I get some great news fast!!!
Ok so I am super let down. You would think I would be used to this by now but no I still get my hopes up every single time… so if anyone is keeping count this is now THREE couples that have decided to not use me! The agency said they have pleanty of other couples they can try to match me with. I’m just disappointed this is taking so long.. the first couple said they thought I lived to far away they were in new york the second was in California and had to leave the country due to a family emergency and the third didn’t like that I didn’t live in Illinois… so I will keep praying the right couple is just around the corner and this will all be worth it!!!