Happy 9 weeks. Things are going along pretty well. I’ve still been feeling pretty good. I have had a few days were I felt nauseous and just not good. But it hasn’t been to bad. My legs are also super crazy itchy from the meds I guess. So much so that I accidentally bruised myself pretty bad. I swear I didn’t think I was scratching that hard. Just 12 more days of meds. Not that I have a count down. 😂 I get asked alot how I’m feeling and I generally always say I feel good and fine. Because that’s generally true. We did have a scare last week though I had some slight spotting of brown blood. It’s never a good thing to see blood when you are pregnant. I tried to relax and not worry. I went to the dr and thankfully baby Mac was just fine in there. We didn’t get an explanation for what or why the bleeding happened. Thankfully since then I have had nothing though so that makes things much better!
I’ve had a couple people also ask about cravings. I guess I would say I am maybe craving soups? Lol I have been eating lots of soup the last week or two. I also always crave fruit in the beginning of my pregnancy’s. I’ve always loved fruit but, with each pregnancy I feel like I just want yummy ripe fruit all the time. Our next appointment is November 3rd. Karen is going to be in town for this one. I’m excited for her to be here. It feels like it’s been forever since I have seen her now. I’m thinking of all the fun St. Louis things to show her. Mostly food! 😆
Baby Mac is now almost an inch long (.9 inches), the size of a pecan, and though they’re not fully developed, all of their essential muscles and body parts are present. Your little one’s kidneys, liver, brain and lungs that are all starting to function on their own too, and they’re even starting to develop taste buds! Although Baby Mac’s eyes are forming more complex structures, their eyelids will shortly fuse shut for another four months or so. Your baby’s inner ear is also beginning to form the fluid that will allow them to develop a sense of balance. Baby Mac also has toes, bones in their arms, and joints that bend in their elbows.
Perhaps the most exciting part about week 9 is the increased likelihood that you may be able to hear Baby Mac’s heartbeat using a fetal doppler, a super special first for you and your little one. Baby Mac’s heart has been beating for a while now, but now it’s really starting to develop, forming distinct chambers and valves. They grow up so fast, don’t they?
Ok today was our last ultrasound and blood work before transferring on the 30th! So just 7 days away. I’m happy to report everything looked good lining wise and we are just waiting for my blood work results to come back although I expect them to be fine also. My lining looked to be 14/15 in thickness this week so that’s good they want over a 8 I believe.
We had a great trip in Branson visiting our GG and the kids went back to school yesterday. I’m happy and sad. I love spending summers with the kids but I know they enjoy seeing friends and lord knows they need some structure and less snacks all day! 😂
Karen and I are both feeling excited and anxious. As to be expected I suppose. I still don’t know if I will test this time. My heart and brain are saying no right now at least. I haven’t even bought any tests this time. Usually by now I would have already had a stack ready to go. I’m still hurt by the fact that last time we were pregnant and then suddenly it all just went away. Talk about cruel. We all had the rug ripped from under us. It was just so sad.
I’ve still been doing my acupuncture twice a week and today’s session was my most relaxing yet! I honestly think I fell asleep a bit. I definitely didn’t think I would be able to relax that much knowing I had needles poking out of me. I told Heather my acupuncturist that these were the last two she would see me for and that now all the pressure is on her for our success! Haha She’s so sweet and said she would take all the pressure so I didn’t have it.
Karen already has appointments for me set up when I am in town for the acupuncture the day before and day of transfer. I’m happy to feel like we are doing everything we can to help this little embryo along. We will be transferring another girl this time. I’m praying my body is exactly what she needs and I can provide a soft, fluffy, cozy little home for her until she’s big enough to go live in her home with her mommy and daddy.
Today before I took Everett to school he was asking me if this would be the last baby I would have. I told him I think so as long as the baby sticks in my belly. He said mom you sure have had a lot of babies! I said I know but I really love to be pregnant and have babies. I asked him what he would have thought if I would have wanted that manny babies for our own family and we had to keep them all. He said well I think that’s too many babies for us. Lol he then said if I did have that many to keep he just wanted 4 boys and 4 girls so it could be even. Kids are just so fun.
Well now I’ll just wait for the all clear from Carrie at FCI in chicago. Once she says we are all good I’ll wean off my Lupron this week and I will be doing the big butt shots later this week and all the pills I have to take. Then I’ll fly out Monday and do the transfer on Tuesday. Remember the new motto!
I’m officially 3 days past the transfer at like 10 am today. I’m still in Chicago. I stayed in bed for two solid days. Day of transfer and the day after. Yesterday I ventured out and walked around. The weather was gorgeous low 70’s. I had some cramping the first day and a half I would say. Now nothing. It’s so hard knowing they put the embryo in and now you have to wait and over analyze every little thing. I have hours where I’m so at peace and confident that this time it’s the time. I feel like we had such a great transfer day. The embryo looked SO SO great and my lining was even thicker then last time. Plus the music gave me such comfort. It all seemed so meant to be. But then I also have too much time on my hands because I’m here alone 😂. That’s when my brain starts saying STOP you can’t be too excited Rashel. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Then I spiral into what if it fails again. What if I take test after test and they are all white again. I will once again have to feel all the emotions while on all these crazy medications. Then I pick myself back up and say no stay positive. I know I have done everything perfectly. Taken all the meds and all the appointments looked great. My body has done everything it’s supposed to so that this little girl should want to stay. It’s now up to her, God and science!
I did finish my book and have watched some tv. Today is my last day in Chicago I go home tomorrow morning. Today is a BIG day for Karen she has been working hard for this fundraising event to help the boys and girls club. They will all get to wear gorgeous gowns and drink and dance the night away. Hopefully they raise lots of money from the auction to help the club. I get to go do hair for everyone tonight before they go out! I’m excited for that.
We decided to take our test tomorrow morning before I leave for the airport. I didn’t want to test today and her be sad or disappointed for the event she worked so hard for. Plus hopefully tomorrow we can have a stronger line on the test anyway. I keep visualizing there being two lines. We want it so bad. I know even if a line doesn’t show up tomorrow we would have time for it to show up but it sure would be nice to see it earlier. I really want Karen to have such great news.
Karen also gave me one of the best gifts ever while I was here. She is seriously too kind and a wonderful gift giver. She gave me a copy of a special poem that has significant meaning to her and Rodger. They always tell each other they have each other’s hearts and carry them. So then she gave me a heart necklace to Symbolize that I get to carry their baby’s heart! You guys 😭😭😭😭 it was so so beautiful. The meaning behind it is so incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky to be trusted with peoples most precious of things. Their babies! That will never be lost on me. I just keep praying so hard that this little girl is strong! That she can find a perfect cozy spot inside of me so that she can live and grow! So I can hold and protect her tiny heart until she’s big enough and ready to go to her mommy and daddy! I will keep this necklace on forever. ❤️🥰❤️
For a funny story yesterday Ricky told me that the cardinals were actually here in Chicago playing! I had no idea. So I was with Molly and I teased him that Molly just said I could go with them! (They always get season tickets and he knows it) I will upload the screen shots from our text. Let’s just say Ricky wasn’t happy that he didn’t get to go. 😂 But then when I got back to the room I had a delivery! It was an edible arrangement. Now I felt extra bad for the trick because I still hadn’t told him I wasn’t actually going to the game. Turns out he went to his physical therapy appointment and told everyone there how excited he was for me that I was going to a cards cubs game at Wrigley Field. 😆
So I will update everyone tomorrow at some point about our first test. Please PLEASE be praying and sending all your good thoughts and emotions our way. We need them. here are the fun pictures so far.
Well I didn’t update after my last one. 😂 Sorry guys. My last appointment was last Wednesday my lining thickness was 14! Again I only need to be at a 10 anymore is just a bonus. So today when I went in I was at about 18 she said. This is even thicker then last transfer so I’m hoping this will be extra helpful for baby girl to snuggle in deep.
This week we went to the zoo and we had a great time with the kids. I tried to convince Ricky to take me and the kids to Disney this weekend before my transfer but he said no and when I looked up the parks we couldn’t even get in to the ones I wanted to go to. 😂 So I guess my idea won’t happen. Our Puppy Bo Bear is getting super big and still learning and eating all the things he shouldn’t. Like leaves, sticks, mulch and paper. Good news he’s so cute we love him anyway.
Im excited for my blood work to come back and see what my estrogen is at because I know it’s super HIGH. I can cry just thinking about crying. 😭 😂 I have cried watching silly tv shows and I almost cried at the zoo yesterday. I don’t even remember why that’s how emotional I am right now. The silliest things just put me over the edge.
I’ll wait for FCI (the fertility clinic) to call me today with their update and then on Monday I will be flying out to Chicago. Karen and I are so excited to try again I have everything crossed and so many prayers that this time it will work. I need to see a positive pregnancy test this time! If I’m looking for up sides I’ll get to go back to Chicago and see my friends and enjoy a nice hotel stay without the kids and Ricky. I will get to sleep in and order food or go shopping 🛍 on Michigan Avenue! I’m sure I will come up with plenty to do. I can also finish reading my book I started.
I’ll update everyone on transfer day. Keep the prayers and good thoughts coming our way!
Today is the day I start meds again. I will be starting the Lupron shots again tonight. This is the drug that puts my body into menopause. So I get super rage and all the other stuff. Like night sweats, insomnia and other fun stuff. Karen said I can call her and rage whenever I need too. 😆
I will go for lining check and blood work for the next 3 weeks and then I will fly out on the 30th for our transfer on the 31st! So just 29 days until transfer. I’m really hoping and praying this little girl sticks this time. I’m going to make sure to tell Dr Kaplan to push her in a little deeper this time. 😂 I will stay a few days after like last time and we will test together again before I leave.
It really REALLY sucked last time testing together and not getting a positive but I also know just how incredible and exciting it will be if we test together and we do get a positive so that’s what I’m really hoping happens this time. Ricky won’t be able to go with me this time. I have mixed emotions about it. 😂 Down side he won’t be there to spend time with when I’m bored… He also will not be able to give me my shots. Karen said she’s going to be brave and do them! I know she will do fine. The perks of Ricky not going are I get to be in a hotel room alone! I can watch what I pick, eat when I want and nap and shop when I want! No husband to say I don’t think you need that do you… 😆 I mean does anyone really NEED anything?
My Birthday is 6/8 and I’m telling everyone all I want for my birthday this year is to get pregnant with Karen and Rodgers baby! Plus any other gifts people decide they must get me. Im a size 12 days at the beach kinnda girl. 😆 So hopefully God willing this transfer will work just fine and then on 6/10 will be our first blood test to check for beta numbers. They typically like to see around 100 or more. I’ve always had a big mix of numbers. Ellie was my lowest at like 70 something and then I have had some pretty high ones where I was like oh crap what if this little one split into twins! I won’t lie that’s always my big fear.
Twins would be exciting and I would do my very best but I would just worry selfishly about me not being able to work as much and honestly just keeping two babies healthy in there. I know I’m a pro with one! I’ll post a picture of my med calendar so you all can see how crazy and in depth this stuff is. I read it each morning and each night just to make sure I am doing everything properly. I don’t want to mess anything up.
As always thanks for the continued thoughts and prayers for the baby, parents and me! Don’t forget to pray for Ricky and my kids who have a bit of a crazy rage mom for a few weeks. 😂
Say it with me: This time is the right time, this time baby girl is going to dig in deep and my body is ready to help her grow. 🥰
Well I’ve still been trying to get something to pop up on the pregnancy tests and I’ve had little glimpses of something trying to come through. Yesterdays test looked promising so I figured today’s would look good in the morning. Sadly it didn’t. I don’t feel like I see anything at all. It all sucks. I know this is part of the process and it can happen but it doesn’t make it suck any less.
Thursday is the official blood draw day so I’m not going to take any more tests until blood work comes back. I’m at the place now I think it’s mentally best to prepare for a fail and hope to be surprised by blood work. This sucks for us all. We all put so much work into this for it to not work. I know we did everything we could though. I’m going to suck it up and power through the week.
I will update everyone on Thursday after I get the official confirmation either way. Thanks as always for all the thoughts and prayers say a couple extra for Karen I know how much she wants this. ❤️
Happy April 1st. Today is the day Karen and I have been waiting on where she will come over and we will take a home pregnancy test together. We have both been anxious the last day and a half at least. We had wonderful massages and pedicures yesterday so that helped take our minds off it a bit. It’s 6:00 am and we are not testing until 11:30 ish. I will officially be 4dp 6dt! I am excited and terrified all at the same time. On one hand I feel like a line is for sure going to pop right up. I feel it. I feel so tired and I definitely had the cramping and I felt like I could really smell stuff too! Yesterday after my nap I felt so nauseous for like an hour or more. The problem is I obviously over analyze everything because I know they put a baby in there! The pio butt injections are also supposed to literally make my body think it’s pregnant so it really could all be tied to that as well.
It’s honestly hard to distinguish how real it is. They just have me on so many drugs. I keep telling myself even if there is not a line it’s totally ok and we have plenty of time. While I know that’s technically true it will also still be crushing to not have a second line today. I’ve never tested in person with anyone before. It’s one thing to call and tell someone you don’t see anything yet. It’s a whole new thing to have her go look and SEE her disappointment. Thats my biggest fear right now. But the other side of that coin is I could be seeing joy, excitement, happy tears and pure happiness. That’s obviously the outcome I really really want to happen.
I have had a couple people ask if I would cheat and test before we test together and I won’t/wouldn’t. I want this to be real and authentic no matter what today’s outcome may be. That’s not to say I haven’t been tempted believe me I have! Yesterday in my transfer group two other girls who transferred the same day as me all got very faint positive tests. I am so excited for them and hopefully things continue in the right direction and the lines just keep getting brighter. I even asked Karen yesterday if she wanted to just try testing yesterday after our appointment and she’s obviously way stronger then me because I was ready to cave and go for it. She said no let’s just go ahead and wait until tomorrow! I’m positive that was the better choice 😂.
So now I just keep waiting until 11:30 rolls around and we get to take a test. I just wanted to get my real thoughts and emotions out here before it was actually test time. I will update with the good or not good news later. (Hopefully hopefully good) I will also add a picture of my test I took last time when it was positive at 4 days past transfer! This looks me I feel like was super bright and it was with baby Oliver. I hope this baby Girl is digging in deep and throwing out tons of hcg as well.
Ok it’s now 11:13 and Karen is on her way. I’m seriously sooooo anxious 😬 it’s terrible terrible. I don’t know why we thought this was a good idea. 😂 Oh please please let this turn out ok.
Ok it’s now 5:23 so way later sorry guys. Karen got here and I peed. I brought the cup out so we could do them together and walk away.
We waited the 3 mins like the first response test said and I told Karen to go look. She did and sadly she said she didn’t see anything. I also went to look and I also didn’t see any lines or shadows. 😞 I obviously felt terrible and kept saying sorry. Karen took it well. Well as well as anyone could. We were just so hopeful obviously. We also both know 4dpt is super early still. I wanted to just cancel lunch and tell her to go without me. But we packed up and went to meet her friend Genevieve. I honestly had the best time!!! It was exactly what I needed I just wanted to crawl back in bed, cry and sleep. I’m so happy I didn’t. We laughed and talked for hours. She was so much fun and definitely my kind of person to hang out with. Obviously Karen only has the best friends! Everyone she knows is just incredible. ❤️ They both had drinks and I had some decaf coffees and lemon water. The food was great we went to RH and it’s just a beautiful spot. We also saw a couple get engaged!!! How adorable is that. Anyway Karen dropped me back off at the hotel and Ricky said he got me a surprise. He got me a chocolate cake to make me feel better.
He then saw me pick up the test again and I swore I could see a line now… He also said he saw it earlier but didn’t want to say anything to me. 😂 He knows I’m a psycho.
So I obviously immediately called Karen and was like wait now we see something! I did my best to take pictures and show her. It’s definitely outside the window of accurate test results so it could be a false positive perhaps but I’m going to hope and pray it’s not and that as the days go on the line gets darker and brighter. Regardless I go on the 7th for the official blood work. The good news is they have more embryos also and I know we can try again. I don’t want to have to but we can. 🥰 I’ll post the pictures of the dried test so you all can see also. Let’s all pray and cross all our fingers and toes for us to get brighter stronger lines in the official time frame so we can feel great about all this. We are going out to dinner tonight and we fly home tomorrow morning.
Well I have been on my ivf drugs. Things are going well. I’m hormonal and crazy as expected with all the estrogen and progesterone. I’m definitely getting excited now. Today is our last ultrasound appointment to check lining and blood work. In the mean time we got a puppy last week and boy are we tired. He’s so sweet but man I forgot how hard puppies are. All the potty training and crying at night. Basically I have a newborn at home. 😂
Today when I got to my appointment they told me they didn’t have someone to do the ultrasound!!! Mind you I had this scheduled for OVER a month now. To say I was frustrated would be an understatement. I let them know it had to be done today so after some waiting they filled out a new order and sent me on my way to the hospital. I went straight there and the hospital staff was so kind and helpful once I explained how important it was to be done today! They called and were able to squeeze me in so I go back at 3pm today.
I called FCI and they were so nice and said for me to just make sure I ask what my lining thickness is today and let them know. On Tuesday it was 10mm so I know that’s already good. they need a minimum of 8 to do transfer so since I’m over that we are good. I will start the big butt shots next week. Eeek my poor butt is already dreading this. 😂
So I will fly out next Sunday morning and transfer will be Monday!!! We also got exciting news that Karen gets to come to the transfer with me now. That makes us both happy. It’s a really cool experience to see the baby/embryo go in so I’m happy she gets to see it now also. ❤️❤️❤️
I will be in Chicago for a bit after transfer for couch rest. Sign me up for this. 😂 I love napping and resting. I know Karen is planning some fun things for us while I’m in town and I’m excited to meet more of her friends. Plus I’ll get to spend some time with Molly and Jon and the girls. Im hoping the weather stays nice and I can do some fun shopping as well! I’ve been eyeing some cute new summer tote bags… 🤫 Dont tell Ricky! 😂
After my final appointment yesterday my blood work was all good and my lining was 12.2 so I’m perfectly fluffy and I’m praying baby digs in deep and I have a perfect little home for 9 plus months.
Well not quite. At 2:00 ish it will be 2 days since that’s actually about the time they put the baby in me 😂. I had some mild cramping after and that’s about it. It’s so hard for me because obviously you try to feel every little thing going on in your body hoping it’s a sign of things working and baby growing. I never really get any symptoms of pregnancy anyway. I guess that’s why I enjoy being pregnant so much lol. Once I’m for sure pregnant I do usually break out a bit more then normal and I get tired the first trimester but that’s about it.
Our plane ride home last night was crappy to say the least. They made me check a bag even though I knew it would fit. Plus I had specifically asked the people at the desk where you check bags and the man assured me it would be fine. Then as I’m getting on the plane the woman tells me I have to check it!!! Ugggg I was so frustrated. So by the time we got on there was no more open rows so Ricky and I had to sit with strangers. Plus the lady next to me decided the open middle seat was her’s. Not to mention her bag clearly didn’t fit under her seat.
I know it was dumb to get so frustrated over such dumb things but my hormones are crazy and so therefore I’m crazy too! 😂 I’m glad to be home though in my own bed. I slept so great last night. Our dog and cat missed us a lot. 💓 They slept with us last night.
I’m still terrified to test this time and feel the way I did last time. But I’m also terrified of waiting and pretending it’s all going to be perfect and then getting blindsided by the dr calling. I do still have some tests left over from last time in case I decide I want to test. I think I’m going to just enjoy the unknown for awhile longer this time though.
Thanks as always for all the prayers and encouragement. Hopefully this time everything works out perfectly and I get to share much happier news with everyone.
Today was my second ultrasound and my uterus looks great. I have the triple stripe! Other ivf moms and surrogates know what this is and it’s a good thing 😂. Basically my body is doing what it’s supposed to. I’m still taking Lupron injections each night and taking estrogen pills 3 times a day! It’s all coming together.
I can’t believe 2 weeks from today we will be putting in a tiny baby embryo. I already love this little guy or gal! I also purchased some pregnancy tests today when I was at the store so I could do some early testing before my hcg blood draw. They only had 8 so I got them all! 😂 I may check target’s selection out when I go get my coffee pods later. I’m pretty picky about the tests I like. I actually love the cheap 88 cent ones from Walmart.
They have thicker red lines so I feel like even when they are super faint you can see a bit of a better shadow on them. Things are getting exciting from here on out. Also the lady behind me today at the checkout line seemed to have no idea about social distancing. She got so close I had to ask her to back up! I’ve never understood people who get so close that you can basically feel them breathing on you. Anyway this is all until next week then!