Happy 9 weeks. Things are going along pretty well. I’ve still been feeling pretty good. I have had a few days were I felt nauseous and just not good. But it hasn’t been to bad. My legs are also super crazy itchy from the meds I guess. So much so that I accidentally bruised myself pretty bad. I swear I didn’t think I was scratching that hard. Just 12 more days of meds. Not that I have a count down. 😂 I get asked alot how I’m feeling and I generally always say I feel good and fine. Because that’s generally true. We did have a scare last week though I had some slight spotting of brown blood. It’s never a good thing to see blood when you are pregnant. I tried to relax and not worry. I went to the dr and thankfully baby Mac was just fine in there. We didn’t get an explanation for what or why the bleeding happened. Thankfully since then I have had nothing though so that makes things much better!
I’ve had a couple people also ask about cravings. I guess I would say I am maybe craving soups? Lol I have been eating lots of soup the last week or two. I also always crave fruit in the beginning of my pregnancy’s. I’ve always loved fruit but, with each pregnancy I feel like I just want yummy ripe fruit all the time. Our next appointment is November 3rd. Karen is going to be in town for this one. I’m excited for her to be here. It feels like it’s been forever since I have seen her now. I’m thinking of all the fun St. Louis things to show her. Mostly food! 😆
Baby Mac is now almost an inch long (.9 inches), the size of a pecan, and though they’re not fully developed, all of their essential muscles and body parts are present. Your little one’s kidneys, liver, brain and lungs that are all starting to function on their own too, and they’re even starting to develop taste buds! Although Baby Mac’s eyes are forming more complex structures, their eyelids will shortly fuse shut for another four months or so. Your baby’s inner ear is also beginning to form the fluid that will allow them to develop a sense of balance. Baby Mac also has toes, bones in their arms, and joints that bend in their elbows.
Perhaps the most exciting part about week 9 is the increased likelihood that you may be able to hear Baby Mac’s heartbeat using a fetal doppler, a super special first for you and your little one. Baby Mac’s heart has been beating for a while now, but now it’s really starting to develop, forming distinct chambers and valves. They grow up so fast, don’t they?
I’m officially 3 days past the transfer at like 10 am today. I’m still in Chicago. I stayed in bed for two solid days. Day of transfer and the day after. Yesterday I ventured out and walked around. The weather was gorgeous low 70’s. I had some cramping the first day and a half I would say. Now nothing. It’s so hard knowing they put the embryo in and now you have to wait and over analyze every little thing. I have hours where I’m so at peace and confident that this time it’s the time. I feel like we had such a great transfer day. The embryo looked SO SO great and my lining was even thicker then last time. Plus the music gave me such comfort. It all seemed so meant to be. But then I also have too much time on my hands because I’m here alone 😂. That’s when my brain starts saying STOP you can’t be too excited Rashel. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Then I spiral into what if it fails again. What if I take test after test and they are all white again. I will once again have to feel all the emotions while on all these crazy medications. Then I pick myself back up and say no stay positive. I know I have done everything perfectly. Taken all the meds and all the appointments looked great. My body has done everything it’s supposed to so that this little girl should want to stay. It’s now up to her, God and science!
I did finish my book and have watched some tv. Today is my last day in Chicago I go home tomorrow morning. Today is a BIG day for Karen she has been working hard for this fundraising event to help the boys and girls club. They will all get to wear gorgeous gowns and drink and dance the night away. Hopefully they raise lots of money from the auction to help the club. I get to go do hair for everyone tonight before they go out! I’m excited for that.
We decided to take our test tomorrow morning before I leave for the airport. I didn’t want to test today and her be sad or disappointed for the event she worked so hard for. Plus hopefully tomorrow we can have a stronger line on the test anyway. I keep visualizing there being two lines. We want it so bad. I know even if a line doesn’t show up tomorrow we would have time for it to show up but it sure would be nice to see it earlier. I really want Karen to have such great news.
Karen also gave me one of the best gifts ever while I was here. She is seriously too kind and a wonderful gift giver. She gave me a copy of a special poem that has significant meaning to her and Rodger. They always tell each other they have each other’s hearts and carry them. So then she gave me a heart necklace to Symbolize that I get to carry their baby’s heart! You guys 😭😭😭😭 it was so so beautiful. The meaning behind it is so incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky to be trusted with peoples most precious of things. Their babies! That will never be lost on me. I just keep praying so hard that this little girl is strong! That she can find a perfect cozy spot inside of me so that she can live and grow! So I can hold and protect her tiny heart until she’s big enough and ready to go to her mommy and daddy! I will keep this necklace on forever. ❤️🥰❤️
For a funny story yesterday Ricky told me that the cardinals were actually here in Chicago playing! I had no idea. So I was with Molly and I teased him that Molly just said I could go with them! (They always get season tickets and he knows it) I will upload the screen shots from our text. Let’s just say Ricky wasn’t happy that he didn’t get to go. 😂 But then when I got back to the room I had a delivery! It was an edible arrangement. Now I felt extra bad for the trick because I still hadn’t told him I wasn’t actually going to the game. Turns out he went to his physical therapy appointment and told everyone there how excited he was for me that I was going to a cards cubs game at Wrigley Field. 😆
So I will update everyone tomorrow at some point about our first test. Please PLEASE be praying and sending all your good thoughts and emotions our way. We need them. here are the fun pictures so far.
Well I didn’t update after my last one. 😂 Sorry guys. My last appointment was last Wednesday my lining thickness was 14! Again I only need to be at a 10 anymore is just a bonus. So today when I went in I was at about 18 she said. This is even thicker then last transfer so I’m hoping this will be extra helpful for baby girl to snuggle in deep.
This week we went to the zoo and we had a great time with the kids. I tried to convince Ricky to take me and the kids to Disney this weekend before my transfer but he said no and when I looked up the parks we couldn’t even get in to the ones I wanted to go to. 😂 So I guess my idea won’t happen. Our Puppy Bo Bear is getting super big and still learning and eating all the things he shouldn’t. Like leaves, sticks, mulch and paper. Good news he’s so cute we love him anyway.
Im excited for my blood work to come back and see what my estrogen is at because I know it’s super HIGH. I can cry just thinking about crying. 😭 😂 I have cried watching silly tv shows and I almost cried at the zoo yesterday. I don’t even remember why that’s how emotional I am right now. The silliest things just put me over the edge.
I’ll wait for FCI (the fertility clinic) to call me today with their update and then on Monday I will be flying out to Chicago. Karen and I are so excited to try again I have everything crossed and so many prayers that this time it will work. I need to see a positive pregnancy test this time! If I’m looking for up sides I’ll get to go back to Chicago and see my friends and enjoy a nice hotel stay without the kids and Ricky. I will get to sleep in and order food or go shopping 🛍 on Michigan Avenue! I’m sure I will come up with plenty to do. I can also finish reading my book I started.
I’ll update everyone on transfer day. Keep the prayers and good thoughts coming our way!
Today is the day I start meds again. I will be starting the Lupron shots again tonight. This is the drug that puts my body into menopause. So I get super rage and all the other stuff. Like night sweats, insomnia and other fun stuff. Karen said I can call her and rage whenever I need too. 😆
I will go for lining check and blood work for the next 3 weeks and then I will fly out on the 30th for our transfer on the 31st! So just 29 days until transfer. I’m really hoping and praying this little girl sticks this time. I’m going to make sure to tell Dr Kaplan to push her in a little deeper this time. 😂 I will stay a few days after like last time and we will test together again before I leave.
It really REALLY sucked last time testing together and not getting a positive but I also know just how incredible and exciting it will be if we test together and we do get a positive so that’s what I’m really hoping happens this time. Ricky won’t be able to go with me this time. I have mixed emotions about it. 😂 Down side he won’t be there to spend time with when I’m bored… He also will not be able to give me my shots. Karen said she’s going to be brave and do them! I know she will do fine. The perks of Ricky not going are I get to be in a hotel room alone! I can watch what I pick, eat when I want and nap and shop when I want! No husband to say I don’t think you need that do you… 😆 I mean does anyone really NEED anything?
My Birthday is 6/8 and I’m telling everyone all I want for my birthday this year is to get pregnant with Karen and Rodgers baby! Plus any other gifts people decide they must get me. Im a size 12 days at the beach kinnda girl. 😆 So hopefully God willing this transfer will work just fine and then on 6/10 will be our first blood test to check for beta numbers. They typically like to see around 100 or more. I’ve always had a big mix of numbers. Ellie was my lowest at like 70 something and then I have had some pretty high ones where I was like oh crap what if this little one split into twins! I won’t lie that’s always my big fear.
Twins would be exciting and I would do my very best but I would just worry selfishly about me not being able to work as much and honestly just keeping two babies healthy in there. I know I’m a pro with one! I’ll post a picture of my med calendar so you all can see how crazy and in depth this stuff is. I read it each morning and each night just to make sure I am doing everything properly. I don’t want to mess anything up.
As always thanks for the continued thoughts and prayers for the baby, parents and me! Don’t forget to pray for Ricky and my kids who have a bit of a crazy rage mom for a few weeks. 😂
Say it with me: This time is the right time, this time baby girl is going to dig in deep and my body is ready to help her grow. 🥰
Look at these beautiful flowers that arrived today. I was definitely surprised to say the least. The extra family/friendship I have gained from surrogacy is something I often struggle to put into words. The love and support I share with these 3 women are beyond what I ever dreamed or expected. We all share something most others will never understand. We have been together during some of the most important and exciting times of each other’s lives. We have also been together through some of the saddest and most difficult.
These women/families have literally seen me naked pushing out their babies. Poor Molly and Jon watched me bleed out. They have watched me cry and held me for epidurals. Let me squeeze hands while I was pushing and held my super heavy legs up. 😆
So often you hear of mean, jealous, gossiping women. We have all met women like this. I am happy to say I have created friendships and bonds with women that are 100% not like that! I love that through all my journeys I have built real life long friends. Molly was so supportive and excited when I helped Jenn! Now here Jenn is being so supportive when I try to help Karen. The exciting texts and calls for big days don’t go unnoticed. I love that we all share something that no one else could possibly understand.
I’m sad these women couldn’t carry their own babies but how blessed am I that I was able to meet them because of it. My life would be so very different without all these people in it.
Jenn these flowers mean more then you know. Your family and our friendship is such a wonderful gift to me and my family.
Molly and Karen have called multiple times sent texts and left sweet messages checking in on me. It’s all these things that make the hard times worth it. I know the exciting times are coming and all the sad hard times will be worth it. ❤️
People tell me over and over how wonderful or special I am. Seriously my hand to God I am the one to have been blessed beyond measure by these families I have helped. It’s indescribable. 🥰
Hello everyone who has kept up since day one or welcome if you are new! I love that I can see that people all over the world have seen and read my little blog posts. It’s crazy to think that this all started 9 years ago. I hope by me being open and honest through all this it has helped others. I hope women who have struggled getting pregnant have felt encouraged, uplifted, joy and most of all seen!
Because of my journey to help others I have read so many stories of women who want nothing more then to be a mom. I have women reach out to me probably once a month wanting to know more about surrogacy and how it all works. I love trying to help in any capacity that I can. Infertility is a dark difficult place for so many women. I truly wish I could help everyone! I’m inspired by these women who speak up and speak out about the pain, discouragement and disappointment they face. I’m also sensitive to the fact that so many cry and suffer in silence sometimes. I can only try to imagine the way it all must feel. I’m truly sorry.
I hope that my choice to help will spark an interest in others so that they may also help someone somewhere. Obviously having babies for others is not for everyone and I know I’m a bit of an oddity for loving it all so much. But I also know there are others like me and even if you can’t do something like this you can be inspired to do things to help others and make this world a better more beautiful place. Donate blood or plasma sign up to donate a kidney. Check into bone marrow donation. Foster children who need love. (This is also on my to do list) 🥰 Donate time at animal rescues, food banks or women’s shelters. Help the homeless. Honestly the list could go on and on.
Now before I get too far off topic… As we all know I always say every pregnancy is my last pregnancy until well the next last pregnancy. 😂
After my last pregnancy I was definitely sure I would be done because of some of the complications I had at the end. While I know they were very common in pregnancy and somewhat normal. To me they were very scary and concerning since I’ve never had anything except basically picture perfect pregnancy’s and deliveries. (Minus one c section and breech delivery) 😆
So I was on the road to finding my new normal after pregnancy and babies have filled my last 12 years of life. Retirement was off to an okish start you could say. Until I got the call and was asked about coming out of my so called retirement and doing one more!
I know I know insert all the gasps, shock and confusion here. 😂
I know you are all thinking who asked? Before I always went through an agency and found these couples to help. I definitely wasn’t on a search this time. But sometimes life just works in fun little ways and things turn out perfect.
This time it was someone I considered a friend. ❤️ It’s funny because I only knew her because of wait for it…. MOLLY! My first Baby mama. Its just so crazy how the world works sometimes. Molly tried to get me to help her have a baby years ago before I ever even met Jen. The timing just wasn’t right. So then when the timing was right I was equal parts shocked, honored, excited and sad that she would ask me. I’ll get to the sad part later. I have had some fun times in Chicago on my girl’s trips! I can’t even talk about how crazy and fun our night on the town was. I partied HARD this particular night it was a treat for all of Chicago and the girls that were there! 😂 So after literally seeing me at my craziest party girl self you could imagine my surprise when she was still ok letting me carry her unborn child! I wish I was exaggerating a bit but honestly I’m not. I was a mess that night🤣🤪🤣
I was sad because I didn’t think I would be allowed or ok to be pregnant anymore. I mean 6 babies is a lot. Not like 19 kids and counting a lot but a lot none the less. I explained that I was old and wasn’t sure I would be allowed to help but we decided to ask Dr Kaplan anyway and just see what he would say. I was basically in shock when the nurse emailed me back a few days later and said that after going through my files he would approve me! I still had to go get a ultrasound done in his office though to check and make sure he thought my uterus was strong and healthy enough. So I went and did that. I was still a little worried even then that they may say no. Again to my surprise they said everything looked perfect.
So I guess my old trusty uterus may have one more in her. Haha Im still honestly a bit shocked this is all happening again. My 5th journey! I would be lying if didn’t admit I’m a tiny bit nervous too. I really really want to help them have a perfect healthy baby. So I would appreciate any and all prayers, good thoughts, well wishes for us all and the precious baby!!!! I hope this pregnancy goes smoothly and we have no issues at all. I’ve already been praying for the baby they will be preparing to implant in me via IVF. I hope she or he is perfect and digs in deep. I hope my uterus is strong, fluffy and the perfect little home until baby is ready to come into this big world and go home with mommy and daddy!
So the details are as follows…
We are finishing up our contracts now. Just 17 days until meds start! All the shots…. I can honestly say I’m definitely not looking forward to that part. 😂 Lupron rage, headaches and the giant butt shots. My poor butt is already sore just thinking of it. Ricky on the other hand I think will secretly be excited on my grouchy days to stab me knowing he can torcher me a bit and get away with it. Then on March 28th as long as everything goes at planned I will be in Chicago getting pregnant again! I’m seriously so surprised I’m even saying that again. I always have so much going on in my world and honestly I think I love it that way. It’s busy and mostly fun!
I know this was a long one. Thanks to everyone as always for all the love and support. Especially to Ricky our kids and my parents who support me through all my crazy life adventures. Plus all my other friends and family who always offer support and love for us all. I’m beyond grateful and appreciative for everyone. It seems fitting to me that when I began this all years ago I started in Chicago and with Dr Kaplan and now here I am all these years later likely ending in Chicago with Dr Kaplan. How perfect is that. 🥰
Without further ado I would love for you to meet my new IPs and friends who now already feel like family too. Rodger and Karen. My heart is bursting with excitement to help you both! What an incredible journey we have both had to get us here together. I just know it was meant to be.
As of today we are officially 10 weeks and counting. You may all remember me looking forward to this day so I could stop the meds! Well turns out we are just going to start tapering me off the meds starting today. At least it’s a start! I go next week to get my blood levels taken so they can make sure I can decrease more I guess. I’m so ready to just be a normal pregnant person without all the shots and drugs.
Nothing huge has been going on in my world. Just trying to continue being safe due to covid and staying home as much as possible. Working is the riskiest thing I do 😂. I know we all will be so happy when we can get together and all live again. I can’t wait for more traveling and just being with friends and family.
No major symptoms or anything still. I actually feel like I’m getting my energy back so I’m taking less naps and doing more house work! I’m sure that makes Ricky happy 😆. I will just be so happy when I can finally feel baby move! Since I don’t get major symptoms I just feel feel so much better and safe when I can feel the little reminders that baby is safe. I did bust out of a bra at work last week! The hook on the back just said nope I’m not taking this anymore… The good news is the other hook was a fighter and held on for dear life all day. I guess it was time for some new bras anyway.
Oh and baby boy has a new perfect nickname! His mom and dad are calling him baby LB it stands for Leafs Brother! How adorable is that.
How’s Baby LB?
Baby LB is the size of a kumquat, at about 1 ¼ inches long, and is beginning to develop tiny human features, like teeny tiny bit of hair, the buds of baby teeth, and elbows and other joints that bend. If it’s a boy, his testes are just beginning to produce that ever-so-masculine hormone, testosterone. Because Baby B’s heartbeat – which is super rapid at 145-165 bpm, as much as two to three times as fast as yours – can now be detected, statistics say the chances of a miscarriage are greatly reduced. Baby B’s heart isn’t the only thing moving, either – he is starting to move around enough that it might even be visible in an ultrasound scan, which your healthcare provider may perform at your next appointment.
His digestive system is also functional by this point, transporting food matter to bowels in preparation for that first poop! Excited yet?
Hopefully by now, most of the emotional turbulence is over, and you’re settling into the heart of your pregnancy. From here on out, you are probably going to start gaining weight at a more rapid rate, and you should keep track of your weight gain to make sure it is in the healthy range.
As far as pregnancy symptoms go, you might notice an increase in vaginal discharge, as well as more visible veins, due to the extra blood being carried to Baby B. In fact, total blood volume in the body may increase between 30 and 50% during pregnancy, and is something to watch carefully if you have a history of cardiac problems, as the increase in the blood being pumped through the heart can put it under strain. The vaginal discharge is nothing to worry about, as long as it’s whitish, thin (or clear, later in your pregnancy), and odorless. Discharge that’s tinged with yellow, green, or has a thick or uneven texture could be a sign of infection.
Visible veins are also a natural physical reaction to the hugely increased blood volume, including both varicose veins, which usually show up as bulky blue veins on the legs, and spider veins, which are smaller clusters of visible blood vessels expanding out from a central point on your face, arms, or chest. Varicose veins can be painful, though spider veins generally aren’t. Both spider and varicose veins have a hereditary component.
Well almost I’ll be 8 weeks tomorrow! So today I went in for another ultrasound and I’m always a little nervous before ultrasounds because well it’s early and so many things sadly could go wrong. Plus since I don’t really get many pregnancy symptoms I don’t actually feel much different. I’m always so excited once I can see the baby looks bigger and see the fluttering heartbeat! That will never not amaze me. It’s so incredible and beautiful all at the same time. Just weeks ago they put this tiny ball of cells baby into me and now he has tiny arm and leg buds starting to form! It’s just so hard to believe it can all happen so fast. The love I feel for these little babies is also so amazing to me. You just can’t help it. I have prayed for this little guy before he was ever even in me. I prayed he would thaw out perfectly and that he would be comfortable in my fluffy uterine lining. He’s just a baby miracle and I feel so blessed and lucky to help.
While the ultrasound technician was checking everything I was joking and asked if he was head down yet. 😂 Turns out he is!!! Woohoo 🙌 obviously this boy has plenty of time to wiggle and move about but it was so funny to me since his big brother came out breach! I have literally delivered babies every way possible at this point. I kinda think it’s cool. Oh also his heart rate went up to 163 so that’s great also.
As far as me my headaches are still off and on and Tylenol is working so that’s good. My dreams have went back to normal from what I can tell. My boobs are definitely more tender right now. That really seems to be all that’s going on with me. Oh I do feel like my belly is sticking out more in my lower uterus area! I’m sure it’s because I’ve had 5 previous pregnancies so my uterus is just like here we go again 😆. I also started this time a little heavier then I wanted to with this pregnancy so, I’m sure that helps add to the fluff that’s already there. 🙄
I’m waiting to see what the Dr says about the next steps. I’m assuming he will say I can stop meds at 10 weeks and just be a regular pregnant person!!!!!! You seriously have now idea how happy this will make me. My butt is so ready to not be stabbed anymore. Also I think Ricky will be happy to not have to do it every night. Oh gosh I almost forgot to tell you guys a great story!!! Ricky had his first injury with giving me my shot. He was trying to put the cap back on the needle and stabbed HIMSELF. He’s obviously fine but of course I had to give him crap and tell him that the next day he would feel pregnant from all the hormones that must have been left on the tip of the needle 😆. I’m actually surprised it took this long for him to stab himself with all these years of shots he’s done. I’ll post some pictures to enjoy as well.
This is what baby B has been up to 🥰
Baby B is moving around like a little dancer, even though you can’t feel it. Your baby bulge might start protruding at this time, as your appetite increases to match Baby B’s. The placenta is also picking up its hormone production, giving yours a break. You’ll start to see fewer mood swings soon.
How’s Baby B?
Baby B is in his last few days of embryo-hood, which mostly means that the brand new, teeny tiny internal organs developing under his see-through skin are almost ready to start functioning on their own.
That pesky tail is finally celebrating its last hurrah, and pretty soon it will disappear completely. Baby B’s webbed fingers and toes are poking out from little limbs that are growing longer every day, and facial features are becoming more prominent, as his lips, nose, and eyelids are looking increasingly human-like around now. Your strawberry-sized bundle of joy is also moving around like crazy, although you almost certainly cannot feel it. Baby B’s head, still tiny compared to yours, now makes up half of his total body weight. But don’t worry, all the famous babies have big heads!
I’ll start with sadly J and K didn’t make it for the first ultrasound but I told them we could FaceTime hopefully. I actually slept great last night and Ricky took the day off to get some things done so he let me sleep in and took the kids to school. 🥰 After he got his errands done we went for breakfast. First watch my fav!
The girls at work are all praying for this baby to split so I have been a little anxious about it. I told J what they were up to and she said what if she secretly had been also…. AHHHH you guys are killing me. So my appointment was at 12:30 so we got there way too early because I was excited 😝. We finally got called back and the ultrasound technician was so excited for us that this time it worked. She has done all of my ultrasounds for both of these cycles.
So I get naked waist down and get in the table. They have to do a internal ultrasound because baby is still so tiny. Ricky FaceTimed J and I kept watching the screen trying to see a baby in there. I knew we should also be able to see the heartbeat already also so I wanted to make sure I could see that. I told her at least three times to really look and make sure if it was one or two.
At first I was worried I could see the blob of the baby but I couldn’t see the flickering of the heartbeat. She assured me it was there and she could see it. She zoomed in and then I could too!! 😍 I immediately felt so so much better and calm. Then I was on the hunt making sure I only saw the one little guy. Good news for me it looks like it’s one strong little guy growing in there. I’m so relieved and happy for all of us.
The ultrasound technician said baby looks perfect and is measuring at 6 weeks and 4 days so a little bigger then we’re we are. I should be 6 weeks one day since we know the exact moment he went in 😂. His heart rate is a solid 114 so that’s great too. So much joy and happiness today.
I wish I could better explain to people what this kind of experience is like but honestly unless you have been through it on one side or the other (surrogate or parents) it’s so hard to describe. If I’m honest I feel like I’m even more excited now since we sadly had the failed transfer. I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly. I am still feeling normal and just enjoying extra naps. I’m thinking my headaches have been more weather related then pregnancy. Now my dreams on the other hand are CRAZY!
I can’t even talk about all these dreams, but they are vivid and weird and way way out there 😂. I swear all night every night I wake up thinking WTF is that about. I know it’s normal for many but this is actually a first for me so it’s kinda cool. I should have another ultrasound in two more weeks and then I believe they should officially release us to my OB! This is exciting for me because I’m sick of all the meds and my butt hurts. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend as always thanks for all the prayers and support we appreciate all of it.
So my last post was 4dp 4dt and I was holding strong with not testing. My symptoms were definitely there. Me smelling odd things super strongly. Peeing what felt like too often. Mild cramps from time to time. But that was it nothing else was really happening. I kept checking my boobs to see if they hurt or if my face is breaking out.
Basically an hour or two at most after I made my last blog post I caved and went to check how many tests were actually still in the bag from last time and then I figured well I already got them out what if I just go ahead and take one… ugggg why do I do this to myself. I had like 4 or 5 cheap Walmart ones and only one FRER. (First response early response) So then I’m like well what one do I take? I hate to waste the expensive 8.00 test if it’s too early anyway, But what if the cheap one won’t pick it up but the frer would?
So I ended up deciding if I’m going to do it I’ll just do the cheap one and if I thought maybe something was there I could always still take the frer. So at 2:00 it would be exactly 4dp 5dt. So I figured I would wait until exactly 2:00. So I peed in my cup and used the dropper to take the test. As soon as I was done I instantly felt dread. I left the room and set the timer for 10 mins before I went back to check it. Then I was a little mad at myself for caving. I couldn’t help but worry what if it didn’t work this time too. I mean I basically felt the same except for the smelling stuff and peeing. I just prayed a lot and kept checking on my white chicken chili to pass the time. 😆
When time was up I went to the bathroom to check and I kept telling myself it’s ok if nothing is there because it’s obviously still very early and I’ll be ok either way. When I picked up the test I was literally shocked 😳 like crazy shocked! There was definitely a line. Not like a shadow or check it by tilting it twice under direct sunlight to see haha. This is funny because it’s so true we do this stuff looking for a line or a start of a line. So then I was shaking and couldn’t believe it was actually there and bright. It just kept getting darker the more I looked at it. So obviously for science 🧪 I had to take the other test now just to make sure it would show up too!
I could hear Ricky in the kitchen making himself lunch so I went in and showed him the test too. (Just to make sure) He said great give it here. He could see it too. He was so excited and said he didn’t even have to squint to see this one. I was happy to know I wasn’t crazy. So then I went back to see the frer because that one only takes 3 minutes. You guys I could see it on there too!!! My heart was so so happy. I was so scared my body just wasn’t going to do what the baby needed or something was wrong with me. I know that’s not how it works but I still secretly blamed myself a little.
So then I felt good like so so good. I felt bad for not telling J right away but I was also terrified what if I took another and it wasn’t there like last time. I didn’t want to feel like I let her down again. Ricky insisted I not tell her until I got another test to make sure things were looking good.
Ok so fast forward to Saturday morning this was 5dp a 5dt well at 2:00 it would be. We decided to go walk around down town St Charles Main Street. I wanted to test before we left but didn’t want the test to not look as bright since I didn’t wait very long. So I waited as long as I could and just did it. You guys BAM it was freaking bright. I told Ricky I bet this would show up on a digital test. He said well take one then. So I did. I wasn’t sure if it would work or not. I told him if it showed on a digital then I was definitely calling J because I couldn’t keep this from her any longer. The digital took forever but it finally popped up and to my surprise it said pregnant. 🥰
I FaceTimed J and baby Leaf was there too. I asked him if he wanted to be a big brother and put the test up to the camera. I was so excited and nervous I couldn’t keep my hand still 😂 I was shaking so bad. Obviously we are all so excited but still trying to be cautious. This is exciting but it’s still so early. We decided to ask the clinic today if we could go a day earlier for our blood work and they said yes! So tomorrow I go for our first beta blood draw. Once we get a baseline number I will go back on Friday to get another and see how the numbers double. Thanks everyone for all the support and prayers we for sure appreciate them. I’m so glad I get to share happy news this time.