32 weeks and growing!

Well we have made it to 32 weeks now. I would be lying if

I said the last couple weeks have been easy. We have just had so much going on in our personal lives as well as the pregnancy. I am doing my best to stay as stress free as possible. It’s just crazy to me that everything can just seem to happen at once. Our grandma has been Ill and we are trying to get her moved to a nice place where she can be safe and closer to us. Plus I had literally 5 drs appointments last week plus work! Then on top of that Ricky texted me that our car just stopped working on the highway!!! Thankfully he was able to not crash and get it to the shoulder. We had it towed to the house and we’re hoping it was an easy fix. Nope of course it wouldn’t be… Apparently the whole motor just locked up and quit working! We almost had it paid off and I was really really excited to not have any car payments for a bit.

Maybe some good news though Kia is trying to get the motor covered under warranty because our year had recalls for bad motor issues. It’s extra stress though just waiting to hear if they will cover it or not! Plus only having one car is not ideal. So everyone pray and cross your fingers and toes that it can be covered. That would be such a relief at this point. Other good news is my Bistro MD meals came. They are a meal delivery service and you can get meals for diabetics! Honestly they are actually really good. It’s super simple and convenient and that’s what I like about it! I don’t have to worry or stress about if it’s good or not. So far all of my blood sugar tests have been great too! That’s such a relief for me.

The drs seem to think I will be just fine controlling everything with diet. Since I only had a few high numbers anyway. Baby girl is moving great and I am really trying my best to stop focusing on all the crazy and negative things going on in my life and enjoy these last few weeks of my last pregnancy. 😭

I really want to soak up every little kick and wiggle all the hiccups and rolls. She’s been a great little last belly buddy and I want to treasure this last little bit of time we have together. I know her whole family can’t wait to have her and she’s going to be so spoiled and loved. I just need to focus on enjoying these last few weeks and that’s it. 7 weeks or less now! It’s just going so fast. These are for sure my favorite weeks. Preparing for all the early labor signs and symptoms. Over analyzing each contraction thinking are these the ones? Hoping and praying my water breaks this time. Hoping she gets in that head down position! Wondering how long labor will take. Then that incredible high you get after birth and seeing so much Joy and happiness on someone else’s face. Knowing you had a part in that. Nothing can compare to that happiness and joy that fills a hospital room after birth. My heart always feels like it could just burst!

So these last few weeks my focus will be on this sweet baby girl and keeping her as healthy and happy as I can. Enjoying each and every movement and even pain knowing this is it. It’s all worth it! Now let’s see what baby Girl is up too this week.

How’s Baby Mac?

As Baby Mac keeps getting closer and closer to being born, they now measure in at 17-18 inches, are the size of a pomelo, and weigh about 4.3 pounds. Your little one’s head also has a coating of fuzz, and their skin is continuing to fill out. Baby Mac is still a little ways away from their first mani-pedi, but they already do have a full set of fingernails and toenails! In fact, one of your baby’s favorite activities right now is sucking their fingers, which is not only cute, but actually improves their coordination and familiarizes them with their body. 

And Baby Mac is really practicing for the big stage, breathing and “swimming” like crazy. Your baby is also probably already in the head down position with their head moving closer to your pelvis as they prepare for delivery.

What’s new with you?

This late in your pregnancy, you know your own unique symptoms pretty well. Symptoms are different for every pregnant person, but one of the most common symptoms of the third trimester is the increased need to pee. Hemorrhoids, flatulence, and constipation might continue as well. And you’ve probably reached a peak in the increased blood flow that’s, by now, been contributing to any number of symptoms. That extra 50% of blood does have a purpose though — currently it’s helping to keep Baby Mac snug and safe, and it’s also going to help make up for the blood you lose in delivery. 

It’s also time to start thinking more about your hopes and plans for labor and delivery, including thinking about if you may want to use any pain management. Talk to your provider about your options and what makes most sense for you. Epidural anesthesia is among the most common pain management options, though many opt for other medications, or elect to have medication-free births. It is also possible to labor without  analgesics (pain meds) but need other medications like pitocin and/or antibiotics. Ask your provider about the pain management options available to you and any other questions you have about labor and delivery. It does help to go into labor with an understanding of your options, but keep in mind that you can always ask more questions even when in labor if you change your mind then. Everyone’s desires and needs are different, and your provider and care team will help you do what’s best for you. 

It’s also important to prepare for life after delivery — you want to be as prepared as you can be for Baby Mac’s arrival, since you’ll be busy with your little one before you know it. If you’ve finished with some of your baby prep basics — Crib? Check! Diapers? Check! — and want another project to keep you busy as you count down the days to your little one’s arrival, it’s never too early to start with some baby-proofing. Putting up baby gates, getting some cabinet locks and door knob covers, and mounting furniture (like dressers, changing tables, or bookcases that can tip over) to the wall so it’s not a fall hazard are all items that can be added to your baby-proofing to-do list, whether now or later. Certainly, Baby Mac is several months away from trying to climb dressers or explore under the kitchen sink, but if you have some extra time to do some of this prep now, you’ll be glad to have dealt with any potential safety hazards long before your little one is particularly mobile.

My stretch marks are really coming out now!
My amazing friend and client got me a survival bag! 😂 Ps the jolly ranchers are delicious

22 weeks is she still a girl???

Yesterday we had had our big ultrasound! Karen and Rodger came in Wednesday for the festivities. We had a wonderful dinner at Charlie Gittos my favorite St. Louis restaurant. My family dressed nice even the kids! We didn’t even get a picture. Surprise surprise. Sometimes I think not having pictures means we had even more fun because we are so wrapped up in conversation and fun that we don’t think of anything else. So it’s memory pictures we will have to remember. ❤️ Ricky was stopped and asked if he was a famous star from Top chef! 😂 Our waiter was incredible and just swore it was him. We looked the guy up and there was a resemblance! The kids thought that was just great. I really wanted baby Mac to move so Karen could try to feel because the other night Ricky said he could feel it! Apparently baby Mac enjoyed dinner so much that it was straight to bed! I was so excited to get home to sleep I was beyond full and sleepy.

So Thursday morning our appointment was at 9:30 am. I don’t really like early appointments. I feel more rushed but it was fine. Baby Mac was moving and kicking like CRAZY during my ultrasound even the tech could feel it. They went ahead to re check and make sure she was still a girl and she definitely was! That would have been quite a surprise and shock if we had seen something different lol. She was moving so much she put on a great show. She was so precious and perfect. We even saw her sucking her fingers! They said her size was perfect and right on track. She was estimated at one pound and 3 ounces. ❤️❤️❤️

You guys are not going to believe this but it looks like I have a two vessel cord AGAIN this time! How weird is that. Thankfully I know because of last time that it’s nothing to worry about it just means I get more ultrasounds and appointments to go to. I won’t complain about getting to see her cute face more often. I’m honestly wondering if this is more common in ivf or it really can just be a fluke and happed to me two times in a row?

They also said at 36 weeks they want me to do non stress tests. Basically I will go in once a week and be hooked up to monitors and they will just watch her I guess and make sure we are all good to go. It was funny though because she said it was because of ivf pregnancy but as we know my last 5 pregnancy’s were ivf and I have never had these before. 😆 Weird but I’ll be there. After the appointment we left and went to the hospital for a hospital tour. They showed us the birthing room and told us they will do their best to get us rooms close together. I made sure to get a cup of that great ice before I left! All in all we had a great time. It’s so exciting to be getting so close. Today I have a regular appointment with Dr Sammons. Oh I almost forgot to mention baby is also already head down. Well at least so far! She obviously has lots of wiggle room and can be switching it up any time but I hope for my sake she stays like this.

Let’s see what baby Mac is doing this week.

How’s Baby Mac?

Baby Mac is now just under a foot long — about the size of an ear of corn — and weighs just over a pound (478 grams). 

When Baby Mac isn’t sleeping the day away (which at this point is 12-14 hours a day), they’re trying to touch anything they can. Whether it’s their face, body, or umbilical cord, your baby is working on their physical abilities and motor skills by practicing movement and getting a feel for things. Your little one’s inner ear is also developing their sense of balance. While Baby Mac may not be using that sense of balance on any gymnastics equipment yet, the more their ears develop, the better the chance that your baby is hearing you when you talk, and learning your voice, so that when they arrive, they’ll recognize you!

Their eyes are still developing, and right now your little one still lacks pigment in their iris, so doesn’t have an eye color just yet. And his pancreas is already busy creating its own hormones, which helps alleviate all of the hormonal heavy-lifting you’ve been doing. 

What’s new with you?

Your feet and hands may be some of the next places to feel pregnancy’s side effects, as some swelling is not uncommon during these months. You might notice that any rings you wear on your fingers might start to feel tighter, and your feet could grow a whole size bigger. Wearing maternity compression stockings may help improve your circulation and reduce swelling in your feet and legs, in addition to helping with varicose veins if those have been an issue for you. 

And your expanding womb may have turned your “innie” into an “outie” by now. Don’t worry, it’ll go back to normal after you give birth. Your newly out-facing belly button might be a little sensitive, especially as it rubs against your clothes, but that’s generally nothing to worry about. If, on the other hand, it’s causing you pain, talk to your healthcare provider to make sure that you’re not dealing with an umbilical hernia. 

Really, as any strange symptoms or discomforts pop up for you, be sure to ask your provider about it. Even if there’s nothing wrong, it never hurts to know exactly what’s going on in your body, and it can help you feel better knowing that whatever’s going on is normal.

We celebrated Bo’s first birthday yesterday!
We needed a picture by the expectant mothers sign!
Mr. Shawn Brock from top chef. Who they thought Ricky was. 😆

Happy 14 weeks

Great news everything pregnancy wise has been so great. I’m not having any bleeding and my energy is coming back so I don’t need naps every day! I did get sick with what I thought was Ricky’s cold and my Dr had me go to my primary just to get tested to make sure I didn’t have the flu or Covid. I was positive I just had a cold I felt fine other then my nose was so stuffy I couldn’t breathe or sleep. The Dr came back in to tell me I had Covid! I was seriously in shock I really didn’t feel that sick. So needless to say I had a week off work. I wasn’t happy about that and I know my clients weren’t either. Everyone was extremely kind and wished me well. Thankfully I was only pretty sick for 2 ish days. Nothing awful though. Just a hangover headache and super stuffy. Now that I’m on the mend let’s do the fun stuff! Cravings: still fruit and I did have two buffalo chicken salads this week! I surprisingly am not craving ice yet. 😂 We all know it’s coming though. Im nervous for that now that I have braces I’m sure my orthodontist would say to not chew ice all day but seriously what am I supposed to do! I have to have it. I haven’t gained any weight yet woohoo!!! I am having stretching ligament pains. They always hurt. My best way to explain it if you haven’t had them is someone stabs you with a knife and each time move or breathe it feels like they twist it. I know that seems extreme but that’s kind of what it’s like. 😂

I wanted to go back to the Covid story because the kids were so sweet about me being sick and wanting to make sure baby was safe and not sick with Covid. Everett is learning in science about all the good blood cells. How they chase down the bad germs and fight them off. Everett said if he could see in my belly he bets that all my good strong fighting cells just lined up around baby Mac to keep her the safest since she needs it most. I’m not really sure how it all works but I really like Everett’s pick! It sounds like a heroic story to save a princess. Maybe I’ll ask him to write me a book on it and see what he comes up with. ❤️

We are leaving in 2 ish weeks for the beach! I’m so excited to get away and hopefully sit in some sunshine and listen to the waves. We also get to visit Jen, KC and the BOYS!!! 🥰🥰 They are so big already. While we are there Karen wanted to do something for the kids and us for Christmas and so we decided/I tricked Ricky into driving to Disney for a much needed magical experience! It was that or the Tampa zoo. Disney was only 30 mins further so you can see the choice was easy! We are incredibly grateful for such a wonderful generous gift! We were going to skip disney this year and now we will keep our streak going 4 years in a row now. So I guess we can say Karen and Rodger officially win Christmas this year! 🎄 kailynn said I bet Karen and Rodger can’t wait to take their baby to Disney a lot too. ❤️ I’m so proud that my kids get to experience all of this they see how it works and how wonderful it can be!

Let’s see what sweet baby Girl Mac is up to now!

Baby Mac’s growing like wild — they’re between 3 and 3.5 inches long, the size of a beet! Your baby’s weight is only going to start increasing even more as they begin to add fat to their skinny little frame over the next few months. And the fur-like lanugo that’s covering most of their body will keep your little one warm until their baby fat comes in. 

Baby Mac is also moving like crazy in there, though you probably can’t feel it quite yet. By week 14, your little one can squint, frown, and even suck their thumb! And your baby’s liver, spleen, and kidneys continue to develop and function better every day. 

Another big development as you embark on the second trimester is Baby Mac’S immune system. The beginnings of your little one’s immune system started developing weeks ago with early immune system cells, but while Baby Mac is in your womb, they’re protected by the sterile womb environment — meaning that their immune system  won’t need to protect against pathogens just yet. And He is now producing white blood cells too, which will come in handy when your baby needs to fight infection on their own after birth, when your immune system will no longer be able to send strong, adult cells along. Your baby’s immune system will continue to develop for several months or years after birth, but they’re well on their way! Once they’re here make sure to follow guidance from their provider to stay on a recommended vaccine schedule. 

What’s new with you?

The second trimester is worth celebrating! Most folks report this trimester to be the most enjoyable of their pregnancy. There are, of course, some new symptoms that may be popping up, including headaches and dizziness. But sandwiched between the nausea of the first and adjusting to a very different, very pregnant body in the third, during the second trimester there’s a good chance you may feel more comfortable. Your breasts are going to continue to grow, but the soreness is likely to decrease, as will the fatigue. Doesn’t the second trimester sound a little more lovely?

Round ligament pain is common during the second trimester too, which occurs when your growing womb puts added pressure on the ligaments running from your lower abdomen to your groin. It sounds simple, but one of the best ways to deal with round ligament pain is to give yourself time to rest and to avoid sudden movement. In the longer term, performing pregnancy-safe exercises to strengthen your core can also help you avoid round ligament pain. If, however, you feel intense pain in your abdomen, or if your pain doesn’t go away after resting, you should call your healthcare provider. 

As you move full steam ahead into trimester two, it’s important that you continue to care for yourself in ways that allow you to feel your best and promote a healthy pregnancy. It can help to stay active with movement or exercise that you enjoy, eat nutritious foods that help you feel satiated and good, and get enough rest. And it’s important to start taking a prenatal vitamin high in folic acid if you haven’t yet started doing so.

The screams and girly squeals make my mom heart overwhelmed with joy 🥹 

(Huge thanks to karen and Rodger for helping make our trip even more exciting and fun!!! I can’t wait to show you a million pictures you probably don’t really want to see! 😂 )

I think if she has blue hair I should get some special hairstylist achievement award! Like an Emmy or something along those lines. 😂
I know we don’t want real mice in our homes but this little one is so wonderful she’s just tearing up stuff inside me and using it all for her bedding nest. It’s ok I want her to get extra cozy. I want her to pull all the extra fat from the walls and just use that stuff most. 😂

Happy 9 weeks and 3 days

How’s Baby Mac?

Happy 9 weeks. Things are going along pretty well. I’ve still been feeling pretty good. I have had a few days were I felt nauseous and just not good. But it hasn’t been to bad. My legs are also super crazy itchy from the meds I guess. So much so that I accidentally bruised myself pretty bad. I swear I didn’t think I was scratching that hard. Just 12 more days of meds. Not that I have a count down. 😂 I get asked alot how I’m feeling and I generally always say I feel good and fine. Because that’s generally true. We did have a scare last week though I had some slight spotting of brown blood. It’s never a good thing to see blood when you are pregnant. I tried to relax and not worry. I went to the dr and thankfully baby Mac was just fine in there. We didn’t get an explanation for what or why the bleeding happened. Thankfully since then I have had nothing though so that makes things much better!

I’ve had a couple people also ask about cravings. I guess I would say I am maybe craving soups? Lol I have been eating lots of soup the last week or two. I also always crave fruit in the beginning of my pregnancy’s. I’ve always loved fruit but, with each pregnancy I feel like I just want yummy ripe fruit all the time. Our next appointment is November 3rd. Karen is going to be in town for this one. I’m excited for her to be here. It feels like it’s been forever since I have seen her now. I’m thinking of all the fun St. Louis things to show her. Mostly food! 😆

Baby Mac is now almost an inch long (.9 inches), the size of a pecan, and though they’re not fully developed, all of their essential muscles and body parts are present. Your little one’s kidneys, liver, brain and lungs that are all starting to function on their own too, and they’re even starting to develop taste buds! Although Baby Mac’s eyes are forming more complex structures, their eyelids will shortly fuse shut for another four months or so. Your baby’s inner ear is also beginning to form the fluid that will allow them to develop a sense of balance. Baby Mac also has toes, bones in their arms, and joints that bend in their elbows.

Perhaps the most exciting part about week 9 is the increased likelihood that you may be able to hear Baby Mac’s heartbeat using a fetal doppler, a super special first for you and your little one. Baby Mac’s heart has been beating for a while now, but now it’s really starting to develop, forming distinct chambers and valves. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

My poor leg!

Last ultrasound before transfer!

Ok today was our last ultrasound and blood work before transferring on the 30th! So just 7 days away. I’m happy to report everything looked good lining wise and we are just waiting for my blood work results to come back although I expect them to be fine also. My lining looked to be 14/15 in thickness this week so that’s good they want over a 8 I believe.

We had a great trip in Branson visiting our GG and the kids went back to school yesterday. I’m happy and sad. I love spending summers with the kids but I know they enjoy seeing friends and lord knows they need some structure and less snacks all day! 😂

Karen and I are both feeling excited and anxious. As to be expected I suppose. I still don’t know if I will test this time. My heart and brain are saying no right now at least. I haven’t even bought any tests this time. Usually by now I would have already had a stack ready to go. I’m still hurt by the fact that last time we were pregnant and then suddenly it all just went away. Talk about cruel. We all had the rug ripped from under us. It was just so sad.

I’ve still been doing my acupuncture twice a week and today’s session was my most relaxing yet! I honestly think I fell asleep a bit. I definitely didn’t think I would be able to relax that much knowing I had needles poking out of me. I told Heather my acupuncturist that these were the last two she would see me for and that now all the pressure is on her for our success! Haha She’s so sweet and said she would take all the pressure so I didn’t have it.

Karen already has appointments for me set up when I am in town for the acupuncture the day before and day of transfer. I’m happy to feel like we are doing everything we can to help this little embryo along. We will be transferring another girl this time. I’m praying my body is exactly what she needs and I can provide a soft, fluffy, cozy little home for her until she’s big enough to go live in her home with her mommy and daddy.

Today before I took Everett to school he was asking me if this would be the last baby I would have. I told him I think so as long as the baby sticks in my belly. He said mom you sure have had a lot of babies! I said I know but I really love to be pregnant and have babies. I asked him what he would have thought if I would have wanted that manny babies for our own family and we had to keep them all. He said well I think that’s too many babies for us. Lol he then said if I did have that many to keep he just wanted 4 boys and 4 girls so it could be even. Kids are just so fun.

Well now I’ll just wait for the all clear from Carrie at FCI in chicago. Once she says we are all good I’ll wean off my Lupron this week and I will be doing the big butt shots later this week and all the pills I have to take. Then I’ll fly out Monday and do the transfer on Tuesday. Remember the new motto!

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE ✨

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE✨

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE✨

First ultrasound today.

I’ve been on the Lupron but today was our first ultrasound and blood work. I got up got there. I was just expecting my usual when all the sudden she says oh well looks like you have a fibroid! I was shocked and didn’t know what to think. I immediately said well I bet this cycle is canceled. I have never had a fibroid as far as I know but I figured no way it was a good thing. My ultra sonographer was so sweet and did her best to talk me off my ledge. She explained that they are very common and that it was actually super tiny and not at all in the way of my lining. It was nice but I definitely was still upset. I even told her I probably wouldn’t see her next week. 😔

As soon as I got to the car I called Karen. I explained what they say and that the ultra sonographer was not worried but I really was. I was super upset because they made me be put under for the HSC procedure to check for any polyps scar tissue etc. this was literally 30 days ago and they said everything was all good and clear. How the heck does this just happen? I was honestly heart broken. I just felt like my body was giving up on us. I called Ricky and he was nice and too calm about it all. I just wanted someone else to also feel horrible about the news and to be sad and angry with me but he wasn’t. He told me there was only room for one of us to be all worried and worked up. That’s true and I’m glad he didn’t also freak out with me. It really wouldn’t have done me any good.

I went straight to acupuncture and was in tears. Going twice a week I feel like we are all besties there now. 😂 The girls were so kind and I explained what the ultrasound showed and Heather just listened and put in my needles. I closed my eyes and just rested and prayed. I prayed it would go away and that it wouldn’t be an issue for baby being able to implant. I prayed that we wouldn’t have to cancel it all and do more tests and procedures. I actually really did get to relax while I was there. I did feel more calm and at peace while I was laying there. I needed that because I was obnoxiously stressed and anxious at this point.

Once I was done I went to the car to come home and I decided to just call FCI and ask to talk to a nurse. Thankfully I was able to get through quickly and tell her what happened and ask her opinion. I knew she didn’t have the official report yet but I told her I just couldn’t wait all day waiting to hear if it was likely going to be bad news. So I told her everything I was told and waited for her to tell me what I just knew was the bad news coming our way. 😔

Much to my surprise she wasn’t surprised or shocked in the least. She said it was super common and that if didn’t sound like I should be worried at all. She said obviously she needed to see the report and have the DR go over it but that she didn’t expect it to be anything to worry about especially since we just did the HSC test. This was very reassuring for the time being. I called Karen and cried a bit because I was so relieved that my body was still ok and working hard for us.

I real take this so so seriously! It’s not lost on me how much trust these families have put into me. I just need to learn to not put so much pressure on myself. I know I can only do so much it’s just hard to remind myself of that. I had to wait a few more hours to wait for the other nurse to call me and really confirm all was ok. I let the doubts and anxiety slip back in. I always go to the worst case scenarios.

When she called I was of course with a client at work but she was so kind and let me answer. Thankfully they re confirmed all was still a go and that it was super super tiny and not of concern. I could have cried again. So in a few days now I will be adding in the estrogen to start bulking up and building my lining to a super thick and cozy home the new little embryo! I’m praying so hard that this little one is actually the one. The third times the charm!!!

I’m hoping at next week’s appointment my fibroid has just disappeared or that it at least stays small and doesn’t get in the way of anything. Thanks as usual to everyone for the thoughts and prayers during all this. It’s such a crazy roller coaster of emotions. I’ll update next week after our next appointment.

3 day past 6 day transfer

I’m officially 3 days past the transfer at like 10 am today. I’m still in Chicago. I stayed in bed for two solid days. Day of transfer and the day after. Yesterday I ventured out and walked around. The weather was gorgeous low 70’s. I had some cramping the first day and a half I would say. Now nothing. It’s so hard knowing they put the embryo in and now you have to wait and over analyze every little thing. I have hours where I’m so at peace and confident that this time it’s the time. I feel like we had such a great transfer day. The embryo looked SO SO great and my lining was even thicker then last time. Plus the music gave me such comfort. It all seemed so meant to be. But then I also have too much time on my hands because I’m here alone 😂. That’s when my brain starts saying STOP you can’t be too excited Rashel. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Then I spiral into what if it fails again. What if I take test after test and they are all white again. I will once again have to feel all the emotions while on all these crazy medications. Then I pick myself back up and say no stay positive. I know I have done everything perfectly. Taken all the meds and all the appointments looked great. My body has done everything it’s supposed to so that this little girl should want to stay. It’s now up to her, God and science!

I did finish my book and have watched some tv. Today is my last day in Chicago I go home tomorrow morning. Today is a BIG day for Karen she has been working hard for this fundraising event to help the boys and girls club. They will all get to wear gorgeous gowns and drink and dance the night away. Hopefully they raise lots of money from the auction to help the club. I get to go do hair for everyone tonight before they go out! I’m excited for that.

We decided to take our test tomorrow morning before I leave for the airport. I didn’t want to test today and her be sad or disappointed for the event she worked so hard for. Plus hopefully tomorrow we can have a stronger line on the test anyway. I keep visualizing there being two lines. We want it so bad. I know even if a line doesn’t show up tomorrow we would have time for it to show up but it sure would be nice to see it earlier. I really want Karen to have such great news.

Karen also gave me one of the best gifts ever while I was here. She is seriously too kind and a wonderful gift giver. She gave me a copy of a special poem that has significant meaning to her and Rodger. They always tell each other they have each other’s hearts and carry them. So then she gave me a heart necklace to Symbolize that I get to carry their baby’s heart! You guys 😭😭😭😭 it was so so beautiful. The meaning behind it is so incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky to be trusted with peoples most precious of things. Their babies! That will never be lost on me. I just keep praying so hard that this little girl is strong! That she can find a perfect cozy spot inside of me so that she can live and grow! So I can hold and protect her tiny heart until she’s big enough and ready to go to her mommy and daddy! I will keep this necklace on forever. ❤️🥰❤️

For a funny story yesterday Ricky told me that the cardinals were actually here in Chicago playing! I had no idea. So I was with Molly and I teased him that Molly just said I could go with them! (They always get season tickets and he knows it) I will upload the screen shots from our text. Let’s just say Ricky wasn’t happy that he didn’t get to go. 😂 But then when I got back to the room I had a delivery! It was an edible arrangement. Now I felt extra bad for the trick because I still hadn’t told him I wasn’t actually going to the game. Turns out he went to his physical therapy appointment and told everyone there how excited he was for me that I was going to a cards cubs game at Wrigley Field. 😆

So I will update everyone tomorrow at some point about our first test. Please PLEASE be praying and sending all your good thoughts and emotions our way. We need them. here are the fun pictures so far.

First messages!
Second message and then he FaceTimed us! 😂
I just happened to have packed one cards shirt so I put it on to show him I was going! 😂
My delicious delivery
❤️😘❤️
The poem. ❤️😭❤️
It’s so so pretty
It’s perfect!!!

Transfer day try number 2!

I flew in yesterday alone. Ricky couldn’t come with me this time. I was a little sad but honestly a hotel all alone is kind of a nice thought as a mom. I brought two books and hoping to finish at least one. Last night I spent the night enjoying margaritas and wine with the girls. We laughed and laughed for hours and ate yummy food. It was a perfect night to keep busy and keep my mind off things. I got back to the hotel by like 10ish. I fell right asleep! (Thanks wine) 😂 I kept waking up all night though checking the time and having super weird dreams. I finally got up at 5 am and took a bath. This is a different hotel but also has a wonderful bath tub. I’m really going to need to invest in a bathtub for home. I got out and tried to lay back down. Surprisingly I fell asleep for another hour or so.

I got up to get ready and turned on my Christian radio on my phone. Almost immediately my favorite song came on and I sat on the floor and had a really good crying and praying session. Then the next song was even more impactful. I hate being emotional and crying but on things like this it’s all just TOO important. Im praying so so hard this time is it. This little girl needs to dig in deep so she can come meet us all in 9 plus months. She’s so very loved and wanted. I’ll include links to the songs if you want to listen. These are the order they came came on.

https://youtu.be/FW5o2uBeMWQ

https://youtu.be/YqHjjZz1Syg

This song was so so good and needed this morning.

Im still surprised by how perfect the songs were this morning when I needed them most. Today our plan is coming back to rest and order room service. Watch tv or a movie or read or nap or anything we want! Karen is going to be here in like 8 mins so I need to get down stairs. I’ll update later when I can.

It’s too risky to get sick now!
How sweet was this from the hotel. ❤️
Such a fun night full of laughter and fun.

Now I’m back in the room. Transfer is over. I was STARVING after so Karen and I ordered room service and it was super yummy. I decided to nap after so I slept for almost 3 hours. 😂😳 That’s a hefty nap even for me. I have been on the pio shots now for awhile and it makes your body think it’s pregnant so I know it’s making me extra sleepy too. For some exciting news: I for the first time gave myself my own BUTT SHOT!!! I decided since Ricky couldn’t come that I would be brave and try myself. Actually it was SO much easier and better when I do them myself. I can’t believe after all these years and transfers I’ve finally done them myself. I think because I’m doing it the anticipation isn’t so bad. So woohoo for me. My butt is still sore and lumpy from the meds but the actual injection itself isn’t so bad now that I’m doing them. Just getting the angle part right is hard. I have to be a pro contortionist 😂.

So now we will wait and hope and pray this little girl is sticking in there. I believe Karen and I will test again before I leave but I’m leaving it up to her. As for now we are staying positive and hopeful. The baby girl embryo looked so so good. She was hatching a lot even the Dr made note of how great it looked.

Look I’m getting pregnant! 😂
Look at this little lady go! GROW BABY GROW!
This is the video of the actual transfer. I know I’ve had people ask what they actually do. ❤️

My last 2 appointments

Well I didn’t update after my last one. 😂 Sorry guys. My last appointment was last Wednesday my lining thickness was 14! Again I only need to be at a 10 anymore is just a bonus. So today when I went in I was at about 18 she said. This is even thicker then last transfer so I’m hoping this will be extra helpful for baby girl to snuggle in deep.

This week we went to the zoo and we had a great time with the kids. I tried to convince Ricky to take me and the kids to Disney this weekend before my transfer but he said no and when I looked up the parks we couldn’t even get in to the ones I wanted to go to. 😂 So I guess my idea won’t happen. Our Puppy Bo Bear is getting super big and still learning and eating all the things he shouldn’t. Like leaves, sticks, mulch and paper. Good news he’s so cute we love him anyway.

Im excited for my blood work to come back and see what my estrogen is at because I know it’s super HIGH. I can cry just thinking about crying. 😭 😂 I have cried watching silly tv shows and I almost cried at the zoo yesterday. I don’t even remember why that’s how emotional I am right now. The silliest things just put me over the edge.

I’ll wait for FCI (the fertility clinic) to call me today with their update and then on Monday I will be flying out to Chicago. Karen and I are so excited to try again I have everything crossed and so many prayers that this time it will work. I need to see a positive pregnancy test this time! If I’m looking for up sides I’ll get to go back to Chicago and see my friends and enjoy a nice hotel stay without the kids and Ricky. I will get to sleep in and order food or go shopping 🛍 on Michigan Avenue! I’m sure I will come up with plenty to do. I can also finish reading my book I started.

I’ll update everyone on transfer day. Keep the prayers and good thoughts coming our way!

This was last weeks at 14 for thickness
Blood work from last week
Today’s lining at 18ish 😍
My sweet message from Ricky before my appointment today
Look how big this dog is getting!

Today we start again.

Today is the day I start meds again. I will be starting the Lupron shots again tonight. This is the drug that puts my body into menopause. So I get super rage and all the other stuff. Like night sweats, insomnia and other fun stuff. Karen said I can call her and rage whenever I need too. 😆

I will go for lining check and blood work for the next 3 weeks and then I will fly out on the 30th for our transfer on the 31st! So just 29 days until transfer. I’m really hoping and praying this little girl sticks this time. I’m going to make sure to tell Dr Kaplan to push her in a little deeper this time. 😂 I will stay a few days after like last time and we will test together again before I leave.

It really REALLY sucked last time testing together and not getting a positive but I also know just how incredible and exciting it will be if we test together and we do get a positive so that’s what I’m really hoping happens this time. Ricky won’t be able to go with me this time. I have mixed emotions about it. 😂 Down side he won’t be there to spend time with when I’m bored… He also will not be able to give me my shots. Karen said she’s going to be brave and do them! I know she will do fine. The perks of Ricky not going are I get to be in a hotel room alone! I can watch what I pick, eat when I want and nap and shop when I want! No husband to say I don’t think you need that do you… 😆 I mean does anyone really NEED anything?

My Birthday is 6/8 and I’m telling everyone all I want for my birthday this year is to get pregnant with Karen and Rodgers baby! Plus any other gifts people decide they must get me. Im a size 12 days at the beach kinnda girl. 😆 So hopefully God willing this transfer will work just fine and then on 6/10 will be our first blood test to check for beta numbers. They typically like to see around 100 or more. I’ve always had a big mix of numbers. Ellie was my lowest at like 70 something and then I have had some pretty high ones where I was like oh crap what if this little one split into twins! I won’t lie that’s always my big fear.

Twins would be exciting and I would do my very best but I would just worry selfishly about me not being able to work as much and honestly just keeping two babies healthy in there. I know I’m a pro with one! I’ll post a picture of my med calendar so you all can see how crazy and in depth this stuff is. I read it each morning and each night just to make sure I am doing everything properly. I don’t want to mess anything up.

As always thanks for the continued thoughts and prayers for the baby, parents and me! Don’t forget to pray for Ricky and my kids who have a bit of a crazy rage mom for a few weeks. 😂

Say it with me: This time is the right time, this time baby girl is going to dig in deep and my body is ready to help her grow. 🥰