32 weeks and growing!

Well we have made it to 32 weeks now. I would be lying if

I said the last couple weeks have been easy. We have just had so much going on in our personal lives as well as the pregnancy. I am doing my best to stay as stress free as possible. It’s just crazy to me that everything can just seem to happen at once. Our grandma has been Ill and we are trying to get her moved to a nice place where she can be safe and closer to us. Plus I had literally 5 drs appointments last week plus work! Then on top of that Ricky texted me that our car just stopped working on the highway!!! Thankfully he was able to not crash and get it to the shoulder. We had it towed to the house and we’re hoping it was an easy fix. Nope of course it wouldn’t be… Apparently the whole motor just locked up and quit working! We almost had it paid off and I was really really excited to not have any car payments for a bit.

Maybe some good news though Kia is trying to get the motor covered under warranty because our year had recalls for bad motor issues. It’s extra stress though just waiting to hear if they will cover it or not! Plus only having one car is not ideal. So everyone pray and cross your fingers and toes that it can be covered. That would be such a relief at this point. Other good news is my Bistro MD meals came. They are a meal delivery service and you can get meals for diabetics! Honestly they are actually really good. It’s super simple and convenient and that’s what I like about it! I don’t have to worry or stress about if it’s good or not. So far all of my blood sugar tests have been great too! That’s such a relief for me.

The drs seem to think I will be just fine controlling everything with diet. Since I only had a few high numbers anyway. Baby girl is moving great and I am really trying my best to stop focusing on all the crazy and negative things going on in my life and enjoy these last few weeks of my last pregnancy. 😭

I really want to soak up every little kick and wiggle all the hiccups and rolls. She’s been a great little last belly buddy and I want to treasure this last little bit of time we have together. I know her whole family can’t wait to have her and she’s going to be so spoiled and loved. I just need to focus on enjoying these last few weeks and that’s it. 7 weeks or less now! It’s just going so fast. These are for sure my favorite weeks. Preparing for all the early labor signs and symptoms. Over analyzing each contraction thinking are these the ones? Hoping and praying my water breaks this time. Hoping she gets in that head down position! Wondering how long labor will take. Then that incredible high you get after birth and seeing so much Joy and happiness on someone else’s face. Knowing you had a part in that. Nothing can compare to that happiness and joy that fills a hospital room after birth. My heart always feels like it could just burst!

So these last few weeks my focus will be on this sweet baby girl and keeping her as healthy and happy as I can. Enjoying each and every movement and even pain knowing this is it. It’s all worth it! Now let’s see what baby Girl is up too this week.

How’s Baby Mac?

As Baby Mac keeps getting closer and closer to being born, they now measure in at 17-18 inches, are the size of a pomelo, and weigh about 4.3 pounds. Your little one’s head also has a coating of fuzz, and their skin is continuing to fill out. Baby Mac is still a little ways away from their first mani-pedi, but they already do have a full set of fingernails and toenails! In fact, one of your baby’s favorite activities right now is sucking their fingers, which is not only cute, but actually improves their coordination and familiarizes them with their body. 

And Baby Mac is really practicing for the big stage, breathing and “swimming” like crazy. Your baby is also probably already in the head down position with their head moving closer to your pelvis as they prepare for delivery.

What’s new with you?

This late in your pregnancy, you know your own unique symptoms pretty well. Symptoms are different for every pregnant person, but one of the most common symptoms of the third trimester is the increased need to pee. Hemorrhoids, flatulence, and constipation might continue as well. And you’ve probably reached a peak in the increased blood flow that’s, by now, been contributing to any number of symptoms. That extra 50% of blood does have a purpose though — currently it’s helping to keep Baby Mac snug and safe, and it’s also going to help make up for the blood you lose in delivery. 

It’s also time to start thinking more about your hopes and plans for labor and delivery, including thinking about if you may want to use any pain management. Talk to your provider about your options and what makes most sense for you. Epidural anesthesia is among the most common pain management options, though many opt for other medications, or elect to have medication-free births. It is also possible to labor without  analgesics (pain meds) but need other medications like pitocin and/or antibiotics. Ask your provider about the pain management options available to you and any other questions you have about labor and delivery. It does help to go into labor with an understanding of your options, but keep in mind that you can always ask more questions even when in labor if you change your mind then. Everyone’s desires and needs are different, and your provider and care team will help you do what’s best for you. 

It’s also important to prepare for life after delivery — you want to be as prepared as you can be for Baby Mac’s arrival, since you’ll be busy with your little one before you know it. If you’ve finished with some of your baby prep basics — Crib? Check! Diapers? Check! — and want another project to keep you busy as you count down the days to your little one’s arrival, it’s never too early to start with some baby-proofing. Putting up baby gates, getting some cabinet locks and door knob covers, and mounting furniture (like dressers, changing tables, or bookcases that can tip over) to the wall so it’s not a fall hazard are all items that can be added to your baby-proofing to-do list, whether now or later. Certainly, Baby Mac is several months away from trying to climb dressers or explore under the kitchen sink, but if you have some extra time to do some of this prep now, you’ll be glad to have dealt with any potential safety hazards long before your little one is particularly mobile.

My stretch marks are really coming out now!
My amazing friend and client got me a survival bag! 😂 Ps the jolly ranchers are delicious

28 weeks and 3 days.

This weekend was quite a busy one! I felt like I squeezed a whole 10 days into 3. I went to Chicago for Karen’s baby shower. I got in Thursday afternoon and just got back this morning at 11:30. I stayed with Molly, Jon and the girls. It was so much fun. I was able to meet more of Karen’s family and friends and get to know the ones I have met even better! It was such a wonderful time. Of course everyone was excited to see how big my belly has gotten. I stayed up too late each night and I don’t even regret it. 😂 As usual I didn’t take enough pictures. We ate at yummy restaurants and walked around cute stores and Michigan Avenue. Karen bought some super cute baby clothes! It’s exciting to see how excited everyone is getting for baby to come.

The baby shower was the most beautiful shower I have ever been too. The girls all worked so hard to make it so special for Karen. They had it catered and I tried almost everything! My favorites were the mini mahi-mahi fish tacos, chili lime chicken bites and the crab cakes!!! I think I ate 14 mini crab cakes. 😂 Plus there was so much more. All of Karen’s friends and family were there. It was so nice to see so many people come to celebrate her and her new baby girl. She has way more friends then me that’s for sure. I had brought the cute dress Kailynn helped me pick out and my new dress shoes I hunted down for like 5 days. Then my feet and legs have decided it’s time to start swelling! Of course that’s my luck. Thank God I brought an extra couple of dresses just in case we did other nice things. I basically had one pair of boots and tennis shoes that would fit and didn’t look terrible on me. Everyone looked so gorgeous at the party it was fancy and right up my alley. I love getting the opportunity to dress up and spend time with girls.

A couple speech’s were made and I couldn’t help but cry. It was really beautiful to witness all the love that surrounds Karen and this baby. She was gifted a gorgeous necklace from everyone and I also gave her my gift. I guess I can finally share what it was now. I had a local artist hand paint the picture I took of the embryo the day they put her in me. So it’s her first ever photograph I suppose. I’ll post the few pictures we did get so you all can see. I was happy to get home and nap. I’ll be sleeping with my feet up I guess from now on to combat this swelling. Less then 12 weeks until little miss is here. I’m so excited to see when she will pick for her big birthday. Hopefully not too soon though we need her to be nice and cozy for a bit longer. I have had a few braxton hicks that have started. Nothing hurts I can just feel my belly getting tighter.

Also funny story Molly shared with me. Sweet Grace had learned where babies come out of and she told her mom that she just wants me to have her babies too so that she won’t have to do it. ❤️ Seriously how precious is she. Kailynn has also asked me to just have her babies. These kids don’t understand how old I’m going to be! 😂 I love that we have been able to make this so normal for them that they think everyone can have babies for everyone else. We need more of this for the world we are living in. ❤️❤️❤️

Let’s see what baby Mac is up to.

How’s Baby Mac?

Baby Mac is about 14.8-16 inches tall, the size of a coconut, and weighs about 2.5 lbs, getting closer and closer to the size they’ll be at birth!

Baby Mac’s wrinkles are starting to disappear as they build more fat, which will help them regulate their body temperature after birth. Temperature regulation, like the surfactant your little one is producing to prevent lungs from collapsing, is a big step for Baby Mac toward being able to thrive outside the womb. In the meantime, Baby Mac is continuing to rehearse for life by dreaming (moving in and out of REM sleep in cycles, just like you!), coughing, and practicing breathing. What a talented baby you’ve got there!

This is a great time to think about if you want to plan on breastfeeding (if you haven’t already). Many folks find that a little education goes a long way in helping them feel as prepared as possible for such a new undertaking, so you may want to seek out and sign up for a breastfeeding class to learn about all of the ins and outs of nursing. You should also speak with your healthcare provider about your choice, ask them any questions you have, and see if they can recommend any breastfeeding classes in your area. In addition, your provider can check to see if you have flat or inverted nipples and discuss any other physical conditions which could make it harder for Baby Mac to breastfeed. And to round out all of your breastfeeding preparedness, this is also a good time to figure out what kind of breast pump, if any, you’re going to use.

What’s new with you?

Now that you’ve moved into the third trimester of your pregnancy, you might find that the reality of Baby Mac’s arrival is really setting in and your appointments with your provider may increase to every other week.

Have you picked out your baby’s name yet? If you’re not sticking with Baby Mac, now might be a good time to start, or to start narrowing down your list of names if you’ve got a few strong candidates. Many new parents like to keep the name they choose private until their babies are born, just so that they don’t have to deal with any well-meaning attempts to change their minds, but if you do want a little outside input, now can be a nice time to share with family and friends. Whether you choose to go the unique or traditional route, picking out a name for Baby Mac is a great way to bond with your little one while they’re still in the womb.

If your recent GCT test raised any red flags, your healthcare provider will have you take a glucose tolerance test (GTT) around now, which will confirm or rule out the possibility of gestational diabetes. Your healthcare provider may also give you a Rhogam shot if your blood came back Rh-negative. And your Braxton-Hicks contractions will continue, as might shortness of breath and difficulty sleeping. If your shortness of breath is acute, reach out to a healthcare provider right away. Of course, pregnancy sensations differ from person to person, so you may still be feeling sluggish when some women’s libidos are cranking. It’s all perfectly normal. Every pregnancy, every baby, and every parent are different from one another. As always, ask your provider if you’re wondering what sort of sensations are normal, if you need tips for or help with relieving any discomfort you’re dealing with, or if you have any questions at all.

This is the embryo portrait
The Girls made this cute sign in the playroom
Sweet little embryo picked from above ❤️
Karen me and Molly!
How cute is Karen!
This arrangement was so beautiful 😍
So many gorgeous flowers
Can she come home with me???
Now this is a hostess with the mostest! 😂
What a gorgeous cake

Happy 14 weeks

Great news everything pregnancy wise has been so great. I’m not having any bleeding and my energy is coming back so I don’t need naps every day! I did get sick with what I thought was Ricky’s cold and my Dr had me go to my primary just to get tested to make sure I didn’t have the flu or Covid. I was positive I just had a cold I felt fine other then my nose was so stuffy I couldn’t breathe or sleep. The Dr came back in to tell me I had Covid! I was seriously in shock I really didn’t feel that sick. So needless to say I had a week off work. I wasn’t happy about that and I know my clients weren’t either. Everyone was extremely kind and wished me well. Thankfully I was only pretty sick for 2 ish days. Nothing awful though. Just a hangover headache and super stuffy. Now that I’m on the mend let’s do the fun stuff! Cravings: still fruit and I did have two buffalo chicken salads this week! I surprisingly am not craving ice yet. 😂 We all know it’s coming though. Im nervous for that now that I have braces I’m sure my orthodontist would say to not chew ice all day but seriously what am I supposed to do! I have to have it. I haven’t gained any weight yet woohoo!!! I am having stretching ligament pains. They always hurt. My best way to explain it if you haven’t had them is someone stabs you with a knife and each time move or breathe it feels like they twist it. I know that seems extreme but that’s kind of what it’s like. 😂

I wanted to go back to the Covid story because the kids were so sweet about me being sick and wanting to make sure baby was safe and not sick with Covid. Everett is learning in science about all the good blood cells. How they chase down the bad germs and fight them off. Everett said if he could see in my belly he bets that all my good strong fighting cells just lined up around baby Mac to keep her the safest since she needs it most. I’m not really sure how it all works but I really like Everett’s pick! It sounds like a heroic story to save a princess. Maybe I’ll ask him to write me a book on it and see what he comes up with. ❤️

We are leaving in 2 ish weeks for the beach! I’m so excited to get away and hopefully sit in some sunshine and listen to the waves. We also get to visit Jen, KC and the BOYS!!! 🥰🥰 They are so big already. While we are there Karen wanted to do something for the kids and us for Christmas and so we decided/I tricked Ricky into driving to Disney for a much needed magical experience! It was that or the Tampa zoo. Disney was only 30 mins further so you can see the choice was easy! We are incredibly grateful for such a wonderful generous gift! We were going to skip disney this year and now we will keep our streak going 4 years in a row now. So I guess we can say Karen and Rodger officially win Christmas this year! 🎄 kailynn said I bet Karen and Rodger can’t wait to take their baby to Disney a lot too. ❤️ I’m so proud that my kids get to experience all of this they see how it works and how wonderful it can be!

Let’s see what sweet baby Girl Mac is up to now!

Baby Mac’s growing like wild — they’re between 3 and 3.5 inches long, the size of a beet! Your baby’s weight is only going to start increasing even more as they begin to add fat to their skinny little frame over the next few months. And the fur-like lanugo that’s covering most of their body will keep your little one warm until their baby fat comes in. 

Baby Mac is also moving like crazy in there, though you probably can’t feel it quite yet. By week 14, your little one can squint, frown, and even suck their thumb! And your baby’s liver, spleen, and kidneys continue to develop and function better every day. 

Another big development as you embark on the second trimester is Baby Mac’S immune system. The beginnings of your little one’s immune system started developing weeks ago with early immune system cells, but while Baby Mac is in your womb, they’re protected by the sterile womb environment — meaning that their immune system  won’t need to protect against pathogens just yet. And He is now producing white blood cells too, which will come in handy when your baby needs to fight infection on their own after birth, when your immune system will no longer be able to send strong, adult cells along. Your baby’s immune system will continue to develop for several months or years after birth, but they’re well on their way! Once they’re here make sure to follow guidance from their provider to stay on a recommended vaccine schedule. 

What’s new with you?

The second trimester is worth celebrating! Most folks report this trimester to be the most enjoyable of their pregnancy. There are, of course, some new symptoms that may be popping up, including headaches and dizziness. But sandwiched between the nausea of the first and adjusting to a very different, very pregnant body in the third, during the second trimester there’s a good chance you may feel more comfortable. Your breasts are going to continue to grow, but the soreness is likely to decrease, as will the fatigue. Doesn’t the second trimester sound a little more lovely?

Round ligament pain is common during the second trimester too, which occurs when your growing womb puts added pressure on the ligaments running from your lower abdomen to your groin. It sounds simple, but one of the best ways to deal with round ligament pain is to give yourself time to rest and to avoid sudden movement. In the longer term, performing pregnancy-safe exercises to strengthen your core can also help you avoid round ligament pain. If, however, you feel intense pain in your abdomen, or if your pain doesn’t go away after resting, you should call your healthcare provider. 

As you move full steam ahead into trimester two, it’s important that you continue to care for yourself in ways that allow you to feel your best and promote a healthy pregnancy. It can help to stay active with movement or exercise that you enjoy, eat nutritious foods that help you feel satiated and good, and get enough rest. And it’s important to start taking a prenatal vitamin high in folic acid if you haven’t yet started doing so.

The screams and girly squeals make my mom heart overwhelmed with joy 🥹 

(Huge thanks to karen and Rodger for helping make our trip even more exciting and fun!!! I can’t wait to show you a million pictures you probably don’t really want to see! 😂 )

I think if she has blue hair I should get some special hairstylist achievement award! Like an Emmy or something along those lines. 😂
I know we don’t want real mice in our homes but this little one is so wonderful she’s just tearing up stuff inside me and using it all for her bedding nest. It’s ok I want her to get extra cozy. I want her to pull all the extra fat from the walls and just use that stuff most. 😂

Happy 9 weeks and 3 days

How’s Baby Mac?

Happy 9 weeks. Things are going along pretty well. I’ve still been feeling pretty good. I have had a few days were I felt nauseous and just not good. But it hasn’t been to bad. My legs are also super crazy itchy from the meds I guess. So much so that I accidentally bruised myself pretty bad. I swear I didn’t think I was scratching that hard. Just 12 more days of meds. Not that I have a count down. 😂 I get asked alot how I’m feeling and I generally always say I feel good and fine. Because that’s generally true. We did have a scare last week though I had some slight spotting of brown blood. It’s never a good thing to see blood when you are pregnant. I tried to relax and not worry. I went to the dr and thankfully baby Mac was just fine in there. We didn’t get an explanation for what or why the bleeding happened. Thankfully since then I have had nothing though so that makes things much better!

I’ve had a couple people also ask about cravings. I guess I would say I am maybe craving soups? Lol I have been eating lots of soup the last week or two. I also always crave fruit in the beginning of my pregnancy’s. I’ve always loved fruit but, with each pregnancy I feel like I just want yummy ripe fruit all the time. Our next appointment is November 3rd. Karen is going to be in town for this one. I’m excited for her to be here. It feels like it’s been forever since I have seen her now. I’m thinking of all the fun St. Louis things to show her. Mostly food! 😆

Baby Mac is now almost an inch long (.9 inches), the size of a pecan, and though they’re not fully developed, all of their essential muscles and body parts are present. Your little one’s kidneys, liver, brain and lungs that are all starting to function on their own too, and they’re even starting to develop taste buds! Although Baby Mac’s eyes are forming more complex structures, their eyelids will shortly fuse shut for another four months or so. Your baby’s inner ear is also beginning to form the fluid that will allow them to develop a sense of balance. Baby Mac also has toes, bones in their arms, and joints that bend in their elbows.

Perhaps the most exciting part about week 9 is the increased likelihood that you may be able to hear Baby Mac’s heartbeat using a fetal doppler, a super special first for you and your little one. Baby Mac’s heart has been beating for a while now, but now it’s really starting to develop, forming distinct chambers and valves. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

My poor leg!

Last ultrasound before transfer!

Ok today was our last ultrasound and blood work before transferring on the 30th! So just 7 days away. I’m happy to report everything looked good lining wise and we are just waiting for my blood work results to come back although I expect them to be fine also. My lining looked to be 14/15 in thickness this week so that’s good they want over a 8 I believe.

We had a great trip in Branson visiting our GG and the kids went back to school yesterday. I’m happy and sad. I love spending summers with the kids but I know they enjoy seeing friends and lord knows they need some structure and less snacks all day! 😂

Karen and I are both feeling excited and anxious. As to be expected I suppose. I still don’t know if I will test this time. My heart and brain are saying no right now at least. I haven’t even bought any tests this time. Usually by now I would have already had a stack ready to go. I’m still hurt by the fact that last time we were pregnant and then suddenly it all just went away. Talk about cruel. We all had the rug ripped from under us. It was just so sad.

I’ve still been doing my acupuncture twice a week and today’s session was my most relaxing yet! I honestly think I fell asleep a bit. I definitely didn’t think I would be able to relax that much knowing I had needles poking out of me. I told Heather my acupuncturist that these were the last two she would see me for and that now all the pressure is on her for our success! Haha She’s so sweet and said she would take all the pressure so I didn’t have it.

Karen already has appointments for me set up when I am in town for the acupuncture the day before and day of transfer. I’m happy to feel like we are doing everything we can to help this little embryo along. We will be transferring another girl this time. I’m praying my body is exactly what she needs and I can provide a soft, fluffy, cozy little home for her until she’s big enough to go live in her home with her mommy and daddy.

Today before I took Everett to school he was asking me if this would be the last baby I would have. I told him I think so as long as the baby sticks in my belly. He said mom you sure have had a lot of babies! I said I know but I really love to be pregnant and have babies. I asked him what he would have thought if I would have wanted that manny babies for our own family and we had to keep them all. He said well I think that’s too many babies for us. Lol he then said if I did have that many to keep he just wanted 4 boys and 4 girls so it could be even. Kids are just so fun.

Well now I’ll just wait for the all clear from Carrie at FCI in chicago. Once she says we are all good I’ll wean off my Lupron this week and I will be doing the big butt shots later this week and all the pills I have to take. Then I’ll fly out Monday and do the transfer on Tuesday. Remember the new motto!

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE ✨

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE✨

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE✨

Ultrasound number 2

Yesterday was ultrasound day. These are the ones we do to check my progress to make sure the meds are doing everything they are supposed to so that my body is perfect for transferring the baby. I’ve been on the Lupron this whole time. These are the little belly shots I do everyday. They put my body into menopause essentially. This way they can make sure I don’t ovulate. I get super annoyed and angry very easily. (Even more than usual) 😆

I am now on estrogen pills too. I take 8 a day 4 in the morning and 4 at night. These thicken my uterine lining. They want me to be nice and fluffy for the little embryo! So yesterday’s appointment was to check and see how my lining was looking. I am at a 12! Woohoo that’s great. They just like you to be over an 8 for transfer so I’m already an overachiever. I have two more weeks before transferring so I will get even thicker. Emotionally I’ve been feeling ok. My estrogen is pretty high with all these extra pills so I can cry over just about anything and that’s definitely not my norm. I’m excited to see Karen, Rodger and the pups in a couple weeks. I’m excited and anxious about this transfer. I know it will feel that much sweeter once we actually get pregnant though.

Here at home Kailynn is starting middle school this year and she’s so nervous and excited. She goes on Monday. I always hate how fast summers seem to go by. I love our pool days and getting to sleep in and stay up late. Everett is all ready for 4th grade. We sent Bo off to puppy boot camp (training) he will be back in about a week and a half and I’m so excited. I have missed my big fluffy puppy. Hopefully he will be better mannered and excited to come home. I’ll get to see him for about 2 days before I fly out to chicago.

Currently I am in a hotel in Branson mo. We are visiting our GG! We are just spending as much time with her as she wants us too. We have been doing some chores to help her around the house. I think we will try to get some fun in too. The kids love doing miniature golf here and honestly so do I! My next ultrasound is next Tuesday so I’ll update after that one also. As long as that one looks good they will clear me to come the next week for the transfer. My new motto is transfer three is meant to be! ❤️🤞❤️

Branson car ride
Coffee outside of the hotel
Puppy boot camp with a crazy friend 🥰
What a handsome guy 😍
So much estrogen! 😆

First ultrasound today.

I’ve been on the Lupron but today was our first ultrasound and blood work. I got up got there. I was just expecting my usual when all the sudden she says oh well looks like you have a fibroid! I was shocked and didn’t know what to think. I immediately said well I bet this cycle is canceled. I have never had a fibroid as far as I know but I figured no way it was a good thing. My ultra sonographer was so sweet and did her best to talk me off my ledge. She explained that they are very common and that it was actually super tiny and not at all in the way of my lining. It was nice but I definitely was still upset. I even told her I probably wouldn’t see her next week. 😔

As soon as I got to the car I called Karen. I explained what they say and that the ultra sonographer was not worried but I really was. I was super upset because they made me be put under for the HSC procedure to check for any polyps scar tissue etc. this was literally 30 days ago and they said everything was all good and clear. How the heck does this just happen? I was honestly heart broken. I just felt like my body was giving up on us. I called Ricky and he was nice and too calm about it all. I just wanted someone else to also feel horrible about the news and to be sad and angry with me but he wasn’t. He told me there was only room for one of us to be all worried and worked up. That’s true and I’m glad he didn’t also freak out with me. It really wouldn’t have done me any good.

I went straight to acupuncture and was in tears. Going twice a week I feel like we are all besties there now. 😂 The girls were so kind and I explained what the ultrasound showed and Heather just listened and put in my needles. I closed my eyes and just rested and prayed. I prayed it would go away and that it wouldn’t be an issue for baby being able to implant. I prayed that we wouldn’t have to cancel it all and do more tests and procedures. I actually really did get to relax while I was there. I did feel more calm and at peace while I was laying there. I needed that because I was obnoxiously stressed and anxious at this point.

Once I was done I went to the car to come home and I decided to just call FCI and ask to talk to a nurse. Thankfully I was able to get through quickly and tell her what happened and ask her opinion. I knew she didn’t have the official report yet but I told her I just couldn’t wait all day waiting to hear if it was likely going to be bad news. So I told her everything I was told and waited for her to tell me what I just knew was the bad news coming our way. 😔

Much to my surprise she wasn’t surprised or shocked in the least. She said it was super common and that if didn’t sound like I should be worried at all. She said obviously she needed to see the report and have the DR go over it but that she didn’t expect it to be anything to worry about especially since we just did the HSC test. This was very reassuring for the time being. I called Karen and cried a bit because I was so relieved that my body was still ok and working hard for us.

I real take this so so seriously! It’s not lost on me how much trust these families have put into me. I just need to learn to not put so much pressure on myself. I know I can only do so much it’s just hard to remind myself of that. I had to wait a few more hours to wait for the other nurse to call me and really confirm all was ok. I let the doubts and anxiety slip back in. I always go to the worst case scenarios.

When she called I was of course with a client at work but she was so kind and let me answer. Thankfully they re confirmed all was still a go and that it was super super tiny and not of concern. I could have cried again. So in a few days now I will be adding in the estrogen to start bulking up and building my lining to a super thick and cozy home the new little embryo! I’m praying so hard that this little one is actually the one. The third times the charm!!!

I’m hoping at next week’s appointment my fibroid has just disappeared or that it at least stays small and doesn’t get in the way of anything. Thanks as usual to everyone for the thoughts and prayers during all this. It’s such a crazy roller coaster of emotions. I’ll update next week after our next appointment.

Med start day round 3.

Today is the day I’ll start all the meds again. I feel excited and anxious if that makes sense. I’m excited to be moving forward and trying again but I’m anxious knowing the transfer could fail again. I’m going to remain positive and pray for the best we all want this so badly. I feel like it just has to work this time. We are doing everything we can. Acupuncture twice a week and it’s going well. It is definitely starting to become more relaxing. I actually look forward to it! I’m hopeful that this will help with the little embryo to help him or her dig in deep. The studies seem to show it’s very helpful so why not. I will do acupuncture twice a week up until transfer and then I will do it an hour before and after the transfer!

Then as usual it’s a waiting game. That’s the difficult part. It’s hard to not get my hopes up every time. I want to be cautious but it’s hard to not get excited and think about how great it will all be as long as everything works. I have had a few dreams here lately where Rodger and Karen are at our home and drs appointments and stuff. I’m hoping that’s God reassuring me that it will work and this third try is the one!

Other then that life has been good. Getting the kids ready for school and soaking up every bit of summer I can get. We haven’t been to the pool as much this year. I need to get a few more days in before school goes back. We are also going to see GG for an extended weekend. We are all excited to visit her and I’m sure do a couple fun things with the kids when we are there. She lives in Branson area so there is plenty to see and do with the kids. I’ll update more often now that I’ve started meds again and will be having all the ultrasounds. This time just has to be it. Third times the charm.

Additional testing

So after our last failed transfer/chemical pregnancy our RE recommend a HSC test. This is where they put me under and insert a scope into my vagina and into my uterus. This is so they can see very clearly. They wanted to look for any polyps or scar tissue. If they find anything they could remove it while I was under. I had mixed feelings about doing the procedure. I was still sad and angry the last one didn’t work and the baby stopped growing. I know it’s good news that the baby attached obviously I can get pregnant she just wasn’t able to keep growing for some reason. The nurse explained to me that no matter how great the testing is there is only a 40/50 percent chance of the embryo sticking. She said while the testing has come so far and they can test for so many things they still have lots they can not test for. Karen said I could make the decision on doing the test or not but I knew if we didn’t do the test we would wonder and wish we had if another transfer failed.

We had already planned the trip to chicago for the 4th of July holiday. So we pushed for them to squeeze me in while I was already there. So July 5th Karen and I went for the procedure. I really felt calm and not worried. I didn’t think they would really see anything because I’ve never had any issues before. I wanted to be sure though. I didn’t want Karen and Rodger to waste time and money on transfers if for some reason it was me. The whole process was less then 20 mins. I had to recover from the anesthesia for longer then the test took! 😆 Karen got some really great videos of me. I was planning shopping trips to buy new purses and not telling Ricky. I also tried to get Karen to come snuggle with me under the warm blanket they brought. I was very excited about my Ginger ale soda and said it was extra good with a splash of vodka. So many funny things. The perks of this test was they know right away if there are issues or not. Thankfully all looked great. They said there was just a tiny spot and they went ahead and removed it but that all looked really good and that we should have no problems moving forward.

So we went out last night to celebrate the good news. I may have had one too many celebration drinks. 😂 We all just had such a great time. The kids loved Chicago and were sad to leave. Karen and Rodger were great hosts and we really enjoyed our stay. We did the Field Museum and the shed aquarium plus Ricky took the kids to see the bean! I was able to spend a few hours with Molly, Jon and the girls. We went to the zoo. We watched fireworks and ate lots of food too. All in all this trip was a great success. Now we wait and see when we can start meds again and try again. Say it with me. Third times the charm!!! I’ve never worked this hard to have a baby but we are committed and I’m ready for this next try. We have decided to try acupuncture to help as well. I have read some really promising studies on it with ivf. I will be meeting with an acupuncturist to see her recommendations.

I met with her this week and she has me going 2 times a week and will be focusing on reducing stress and working on all the perfect points to aid in our ivf journey! I also got an updated cycle calendar yesterday. So we have a new transfer date of August 30th. As I said before I have never needed to work this hard for a ivf cycle to work. I’m really hoping and praying that this next little embryo is the one God has planned for me to carry and grow until he or she is ready to meet his or her parents. We are all scared and excited. As always the emotions run high during these times. I’m honestly not sure if I’ll be testing this time. My heart is saying no but I also know I have like zero will power after. I can’t lie I’m just worried about another chemical. It really sucked seeing positive pregnancy tests and then being told We were not pregnant. I know these things happen and so many others have struggled with chemical pregnancy, ectopic pregnancies and blighted ovum’s. I never knew there could be so many things that could go wrong until I pursued surrogacy. It breaks my heart that so many struggle with things like this. I just have to keep praying that it’s Gods will for me to be able to help Karen and Rodger with their family. I can only imagine how sweet and satisfying it will be to see them with their baby on its first birthday! That’s why I know all these hormones and shots will be worth it. It’s always worth it when I see these families and all the love that goes into creating them. I’ll add some fun vacation pictures for you all.

Testing day
The kids LOVED the stair case 😂 hours of entertainment

3 day past 6 day transfer

I’m officially 3 days past the transfer at like 10 am today. I’m still in Chicago. I stayed in bed for two solid days. Day of transfer and the day after. Yesterday I ventured out and walked around. The weather was gorgeous low 70’s. I had some cramping the first day and a half I would say. Now nothing. It’s so hard knowing they put the embryo in and now you have to wait and over analyze every little thing. I have hours where I’m so at peace and confident that this time it’s the time. I feel like we had such a great transfer day. The embryo looked SO SO great and my lining was even thicker then last time. Plus the music gave me such comfort. It all seemed so meant to be. But then I also have too much time on my hands because I’m here alone 😂. That’s when my brain starts saying STOP you can’t be too excited Rashel. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Then I spiral into what if it fails again. What if I take test after test and they are all white again. I will once again have to feel all the emotions while on all these crazy medications. Then I pick myself back up and say no stay positive. I know I have done everything perfectly. Taken all the meds and all the appointments looked great. My body has done everything it’s supposed to so that this little girl should want to stay. It’s now up to her, God and science!

I did finish my book and have watched some tv. Today is my last day in Chicago I go home tomorrow morning. Today is a BIG day for Karen she has been working hard for this fundraising event to help the boys and girls club. They will all get to wear gorgeous gowns and drink and dance the night away. Hopefully they raise lots of money from the auction to help the club. I get to go do hair for everyone tonight before they go out! I’m excited for that.

We decided to take our test tomorrow morning before I leave for the airport. I didn’t want to test today and her be sad or disappointed for the event she worked so hard for. Plus hopefully tomorrow we can have a stronger line on the test anyway. I keep visualizing there being two lines. We want it so bad. I know even if a line doesn’t show up tomorrow we would have time for it to show up but it sure would be nice to see it earlier. I really want Karen to have such great news.

Karen also gave me one of the best gifts ever while I was here. She is seriously too kind and a wonderful gift giver. She gave me a copy of a special poem that has significant meaning to her and Rodger. They always tell each other they have each other’s hearts and carry them. So then she gave me a heart necklace to Symbolize that I get to carry their baby’s heart! You guys 😭😭😭😭 it was so so beautiful. The meaning behind it is so incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky to be trusted with peoples most precious of things. Their babies! That will never be lost on me. I just keep praying so hard that this little girl is strong! That she can find a perfect cozy spot inside of me so that she can live and grow! So I can hold and protect her tiny heart until she’s big enough and ready to go to her mommy and daddy! I will keep this necklace on forever. ❤️🥰❤️

For a funny story yesterday Ricky told me that the cardinals were actually here in Chicago playing! I had no idea. So I was with Molly and I teased him that Molly just said I could go with them! (They always get season tickets and he knows it) I will upload the screen shots from our text. Let’s just say Ricky wasn’t happy that he didn’t get to go. 😂 But then when I got back to the room I had a delivery! It was an edible arrangement. Now I felt extra bad for the trick because I still hadn’t told him I wasn’t actually going to the game. Turns out he went to his physical therapy appointment and told everyone there how excited he was for me that I was going to a cards cubs game at Wrigley Field. 😆

So I will update everyone tomorrow at some point about our first test. Please PLEASE be praying and sending all your good thoughts and emotions our way. We need them. here are the fun pictures so far.

First messages!
Second message and then he FaceTimed us! 😂
I just happened to have packed one cards shirt so I put it on to show him I was going! 😂
My delicious delivery
❤️😘❤️
The poem. ❤️😭❤️
It’s so so pretty
It’s perfect!!!