So my last post was 4dp 4dt and I was holding strong with not testing. My symptoms were definitely there. Me smelling odd things super strongly. Peeing what felt like too often. Mild cramps from time to time. But that was it nothing else was really happening. I kept checking my boobs to see if they hurt or if my face is breaking out.
Basically an hour or two at most after I made my last blog post I caved and went to check how many tests were actually still in the bag from last time and then I figured well I already got them out what if I just go ahead and take one… ugggg why do I do this to myself. I had like 4 or 5 cheap Walmart ones and only one FRER. (First response early response) So then I’m like well what one do I take? I hate to waste the expensive 8.00 test if it’s too early anyway, But what if the cheap one won’t pick it up but the frer would?
So I ended up deciding if I’m going to do it I’ll just do the cheap one and if I thought maybe something was there I could always still take the frer. So at 2:00 it would be exactly 4dp 5dt. So I figured I would wait until exactly 2:00. So I peed in my cup and used the dropper to take the test. As soon as I was done I instantly felt dread. I left the room and set the timer for 10 mins before I went back to check it. Then I was a little mad at myself for caving. I couldn’t help but worry what if it didn’t work this time too. I mean I basically felt the same except for the smelling stuff and peeing. I just prayed a lot and kept checking on my white chicken chili to pass the time. 😆
When time was up I went to the bathroom to check and I kept telling myself it’s ok if nothing is there because it’s obviously still very early and I’ll be ok either way. When I picked up the test I was literally shocked 😳 like crazy shocked! There was definitely a line. Not like a shadow or check it by tilting it twice under direct sunlight to see haha. This is funny because it’s so true we do this stuff looking for a line or a start of a line. So then I was shaking and couldn’t believe it was actually there and bright. It just kept getting darker the more I looked at it. So obviously for science 🧪 I had to take the other test now just to make sure it would show up too!
I could hear Ricky in the kitchen making himself lunch so I went in and showed him the test too. (Just to make sure) He said great give it here. He could see it too. He was so excited and said he didn’t even have to squint to see this one. I was happy to know I wasn’t crazy. So then I went back to see the frer because that one only takes 3 minutes. You guys I could see it on there too!!! My heart was so so happy. I was so scared my body just wasn’t going to do what the baby needed or something was wrong with me. I know that’s not how it works but I still secretly blamed myself a little.
So then I felt good like so so good. I felt bad for not telling J right away but I was also terrified what if I took another and it wasn’t there like last time. I didn’t want to feel like I let her down again. Ricky insisted I not tell her until I got another test to make sure things were looking good.
Ok so fast forward to Saturday morning this was 5dp a 5dt well at 2:00 it would be. We decided to go walk around down town St Charles Main Street. I wanted to test before we left but didn’t want the test to not look as bright since I didn’t wait very long. So I waited as long as I could and just did it. You guys BAM it was freaking bright. I told Ricky I bet this would show up on a digital test. He said well take one then. So I did. I wasn’t sure if it would work or not. I told him if it showed on a digital then I was definitely calling J because I couldn’t keep this from her any longer. The digital took forever but it finally popped up and to my surprise it said pregnant. 🥰
I FaceTimed J and baby Leaf was there too. I asked him if he wanted to be a big brother and put the test up to the camera. I was so excited and nervous I couldn’t keep my hand still 😂 I was shaking so bad. Obviously we are all so excited but still trying to be cautious. This is exciting but it’s still so early. We decided to ask the clinic today if we could go a day earlier for our blood work and they said yes! So tomorrow I go for our first beta blood draw. Once we get a baseline number I will go back on Friday to get another and see how the numbers double. Thanks everyone for all the support and prayers we for sure appreciate them. I’m so glad I get to share happy news this time.
This means 4 days past a 5 day transfer. I still haven’t tested and it’s so hard but I just can’t go through what I did last time. So I’m waiting. I don’t know how long I’ll wait but for now I’m waiting. Each day is a day closer to my beta blood test.
Yesterday I unpacked all my stuff from my suitcase and cleaned a bit. I also ordered my groceries and watched some crap tv. (90 day Fiancé the other way) 😂 I’m addicted. I still have pregnancy tests left over from my last cycle and I “hid” them from myself in the bathroom closet. Obviously this was dumb because I’m not a toddler and I know they are there… Ricky said I should give them to him and he would hide them but I already know that would be way WAY to risky. I don’t want to test but I like knowing where they are just in case.
I will say Wednesday night between 11 pm and 6 am I got up to pee ***6*** times. I mean I usually get up and pee at night but definitely not 6 times. Then when I was getting the kids ready to leave for school yesterday I swear I smelled dog poo in the dining room. Like the smell was so strong I made everyone look for it before we could leave. We never found any poo… Also I can smell the lemon grass in my oil diffuser still and I haven’t had it on for two days. Ricky says he can’t smell it.
That’s the only things I have really noticed so far. Still a bit of cramping here or there but nothing big. I’m trying to not over analyze everything but I also don’t want to not make mention of things. The hard part is all the meds I’m on make my body think it’s pregnant already so it’s really so hard to know anything. I didn’t pee a ton last night so maybe the peeing was a fluke?
This morning I got to watch my nephew Travis for a few hours so that helped keep me busy and occupied. Then he left and my kids decided to go with my mom also. So now the house is so quiet with Ricky down stairs working. I already made dinner also. It’s only 12:30 😂. I made white chicken chili. I have been seeing it all over Facebook and it looked delicious. I guess I will watch more tv and maybe nap. That always helps pass the time and I love napping.
Well not quite. At 2:00 ish it will be 2 days since that’s actually about the time they put the baby in me 😂. I had some mild cramping after and that’s about it. It’s so hard for me because obviously you try to feel every little thing going on in your body hoping it’s a sign of things working and baby growing. I never really get any symptoms of pregnancy anyway. I guess that’s why I enjoy being pregnant so much lol. Once I’m for sure pregnant I do usually break out a bit more then normal and I get tired the first trimester but that’s about it.
Our plane ride home last night was crappy to say the least. They made me check a bag even though I knew it would fit. Plus I had specifically asked the people at the desk where you check bags and the man assured me it would be fine. Then as I’m getting on the plane the woman tells me I have to check it!!! Ugggg I was so frustrated. So by the time we got on there was no more open rows so Ricky and I had to sit with strangers. Plus the lady next to me decided the open middle seat was her’s. Not to mention her bag clearly didn’t fit under her seat.
I know it was dumb to get so frustrated over such dumb things but my hormones are crazy and so therefore I’m crazy too! 😂 I’m glad to be home though in my own bed. I slept so great last night. Our dog and cat missed us a lot. 💓 They slept with us last night.
I’m still terrified to test this time and feel the way I did last time. But I’m also terrified of waiting and pretending it’s all going to be perfect and then getting blindsided by the dr calling. I do still have some tests left over from last time in case I decide I want to test. I think I’m going to just enjoy the unknown for awhile longer this time though.
Thanks as always for all the prayers and encouragement. Hopefully this time everything works out perfectly and I get to share much happier news with everyone.
I’m happy to report that the transfer is completed. Everything seemed to go smoothly. So I’m considering myself pregnant at this point 😂. At least until the blood test tells me otherwise.
On my way there I prayed a lot. I always get anxious before transfers. It’s so many emotions you feel and all the estrogen I’m on doesn’t help. We were listening to the radio and a song came on and it seemed pretty fitting. I love that when I’m worried or stressed God can still tell me things are going to be ok.
I got to see the picture of the embryo before they put him in but I couldn’t take a picture or anything. It looked very similar to the last embryo. I could tell it was already hatching. That’s a good thing!
In 10 days I will have my blood beta draw! After the transfer Ricky and I decided to go eat at an Italian restaurant the pasta was SO good! I will still be on all my meds so butt shots, suppository’s and estrogen keep on going.
This was the song we heard right before we went in. 🥰
I had my last blood draw here at the clinic on Friday. They called to say everything was great and transfer was all set for Monday at 1:30! So I have to show up at 1:00 for the appointment. I’m so excited for this transfer and feeling so hopeful. It’s been great spending time with J and K and baby Leaf! I sure hope and pray he is a big brother soon! My butt shots are still zero fun. Actually I feel like my butt hurts more this time. Just tender and sore. Probably because I didn’t take much of a break.
I got to have some beach time so that’s nice too! I love the ocean so much. I also finally bought my new Louis Vuitton bag I have been wanting for the last 3 years!!! It’s just perfect. 😍 I also got my nails done before I came for some extra good luck feelings. Thanks Cari.
I almost forgot we also took a kayak trip while we were here!!! It was super fun. You will all be surprised to know that Ricky was actually the one who planned this idea! I was so excited. I was quite worried we would flip over but actually we did great. Like a good husband he did all the paddling while I enjoyed the view.
I’ll post tomorrow after transfer is done. Let’s all pray for this little embryo boy. Hopefully he really finds my uterus extra plush and comfortable for the next 9ish months. Here are some pictures to enjoy.
Well last week we had some changes thrown at us. They decided that my transfer would be moved from the 16th to the 19th! So a bit of a bummer but all should be fine. Today I had another ultrasound and blood work appointment. My lining looks soooo good 15 now! I feel much better about this thick lining.
I’m back on the butt shots starting tomorrow. I’m definitely not excited about those. I think Ricky is though. He already told me I better be on my best behavior and not make him mad or he will really make them hurt. (Obviously he’s kidding) sometimes they hurt worse then others and I do complain that he does it on purpose.
We took the kids to the pumpkin patch yesterday and it was a great day but boy was it hot! Now I guess I better pack so we can fly out on Thursday. I am excited to eat at the restaurant Tommy Bahamas by our hotel. They have delicious chicken jerk tacos. Hopefully the weather is a bit better this time and we can get a couple beach days in also.
Today is also baby Leafs 2nd birthday!!! I can’t believe it’s been two years since I pushed him out butt first 😂. I know I say this all the time, but I honestly feel so lucky and blessed to have met such wonderful families who trust me so much. I love that I get to enjoy being pregnant and then get to give the baby back to its mom and dad to love and raise. Plus going home and sleeping for 8 hours after giving birth is like the best thing ever! I have been praying for this sweet baby boy already. I pray he really digs in and wants to stick around.
Yesterday we did an ultrasound and blood work to check my uterine lining and blood work for my estrogen levels. Good news was my ultrasound went great and my lining looks to be even better then it did last time!!! I’m at a 10 with still a little over a week to go! So they said we can keep everything the same now. Meaning my meds. I’m still taking Lupron each night and estrogen pills 3 times a day. I’m waiting for them to call me today to let me know when I will be starting all my other meds. Pills and butt shots. 😔☹️😢 I already feel bad for my butt. 😂
We will be flying out on the 15th in the morning and as far as I know transfer still looks good for Friday the 16th. I’ve been praying for this next transfer of this sweet baby boy! I’m excited for this next try. I’m honestly not sure if I’m going to test this time after transfer or not. This was obviously the first time I have ever not been able to share excitement and good news. So I’m honestly scared to test again and not see good news and feeling as bad as I did last time. I know I will feel bad even if I don’t test and get bad news. I’m just not sure what I will do.
Thanks as always to everyone for all the love and support. I’ll be sure to update more this coming week.