I’ve been putting this off I suppose. It was a wonderful special day. How sad though that this will be my forever last birth story I get to share. I mean I have had 7 so I know that’s a lot but it’s all just bitter sweet for me. So I’ll just jump right to it.
So for my last pregnant night I just enjoyed those last few kicks and playing time. I actually fell asleep pretty quickly and got up early feeling so excited for the day. I did my hair and makeup and cried a little before I left. It was a good cry. I was just so happy we made it. There was a point when I thought we may not get here. With two failed attempts before transfer three that was meant to be. Then we had such a low first beta number I was sure it was bad news again. Then we had two scares of early bleeding that we couldn’t figure out. Needless to say this baby girl was hard work to get here. But so worth every sad and scary moment. I would do it all again for her and her family.
Once we got to the hospital they got us in the room and all set up. Karen and Roger arrived soon after. We were all very excited and chatty. Once baby Mac knew we had a time set for her to come she decided she was perfectly content staying. I am still shocked I was just walking around at 5cm and 50% effaced. I was half way done with labor. Dr Sammons told me the first thing to tell them was to make sure she was still head down! So they checked and all was good. Woohoo They started my pitocin and we waited. We all took a guess at the times we thought she would get here. The nurse said well definitely before my shift is over at 5:00! I don’t remember my guess but it was after that and everyone else was guessing afternoon times.
Kailynn thought this was a super fun game and enjoyed keeping track of the times and telling everyone when they had lost as everyone’s times kept passing. I was so happy that she was able to be there with us for such an amazing experience. I have had babies for other moms and dads for basically her whole life. This was the first time she was really really into it though. Like the birth and stuff. When she had asked me if she could come and watch the baby be born I was like on man what do I say? Once I talked to Karen and she said she was fine with it I told Kailynn she could. I made sure to explain that sometimes I would be hurting and might get quite or not want to talk but that was normal and ok. We also told her if she wanted to not be there last minute she didn’t have to be.
As the hours kept passing and the day nurses left I was still laboring. I finally got to the point they said they would break my water at 5:00 I believe. I was very proud of myself for turning down the epidural still. They always try to give it to me before I feel the need for it and I promised myself not this last time! I wasn’t going to get it until I really needed it. So they broke my water and soon after the contractions started getting more intense. But I wanted to really wait to need the epidural. So I decided to do the laughing gas option. I was a little worried because before I could take it they told me I might feel really sick from it. But I ultimately decided to take it. Thankfully I never felt sick from it. I did feel like it helped. I was able to push through for another hour or two I would guess before I was ready for the epidural. Then everyone stepped out except Karen. She was so great and held my hands and let me squeeze as much as I needed too. If you have had an epidural you know all the uncomfortableness that comes with it. Its always worth it but those 10 mins of getting it all set up and ready suck! Trying to stay still and then breathe through contractions while they shove an enormous needle into your spine and tell you to wait for the odd sharp pain down your leg/legs and odd taste in your mouth. Like I said it’s all worth it though. When it was over I opened my eyes and poor Karen was crying. I felt so bad. I was like did I squeeze too hard! She just felt bad I was in pain and thanked me for everything. It was so sweet of her. ❤️ I assured her I was fine and that would be the worst part for me. After this we were smooth sailing! I think it speaks volumes of Karen though. She’s so incredibly empathetic and loving. I told her I’m not even crying so she didn’t need to worry about me. It was a beautiful moment for us. These are the moments I know it’s all worth it. I am so blessed and lucky to be her friend and be able to help her and all the other incredible women I have helped.
The meds kicked in quickly and I was feeling great after that. Just getting hungry and feeling bad everyone was waiting on me after thinking it would go so quickly. Finally we ordered food before everything closed and I was hoping I could deliver and it would still be warm ish 😆. Good news I was PUSHING when the food came. The nurses went down to get it so no one had to miss anything. If you have been around for awhile you know I’m a super pusher! I love it. Kailynn was so excited and loved every second and Karen was so great encouraging her and being there for her when I couldn’t do much obviously 😂. She was next to Karen the whole time and watched the whole thing. She was amazed and not scared at all! I loved that we got to experience this moment together. Child birth is incredible and so cool that our bodies can do this. Of course we were all so excited to meet this sweet little girl we had all waited for and prayed for. Two whole pushes and she was out! It was SO FAST! They put her on my belly so all the cord blood could be beneficial for her. Karen and I touched her and admired her beauty. Roger got to cut the cord and Karen finally got her baby girl all to herself! It was so beautiful to see her enjoying skin to skin with her perfect little daughter she’s waited so incredibly long for. It makes all the hard times we had worth it one thousand times over.
It was a perfect ending labor and delivery of my very last pregnancy and delivery. My heart is so sad knowing I will never again feel a baby moving inside my body but my heart is also so happy knowing I was blessed and able to successfully carry my own two children. Then I was then able to go on and help three other mothers. My body is amazing and I’m forever grateful for all of these experiences. I can’t imagine anything in my life ever being better then this. If you have ever considered doing this please reach out. It’s not always easy but I swear it’s so worth it!
We got to spend the next day and a half loving on little Miss Maggie Jane. I was able to nurse her in the hospital so she could get all the extra nutrients before she went home. I got lots of love and snuggles before we all went home. As usual I cried when we left. It’s such an emotional experience. I never cry because I want to take the baby home. I cry because it’s all over. All the sudden it’s just finished. My little part in their whole big lives is over. I take my job of keeping them safe during pregnancy very seriously and once it is over I know my job is done and now their parents get to take on that roll. I obviously miss them and the joy I get from pregnancy but I love knowing they are safe and loved and that I now get the joy of watching them grow and flourish in this great big world! I’m so excited to watch and see all the amazing, incredible things these children do. Seriously how lucky am I!
While I was in the hospital Karen gave me my push present. Though it was only two pushes so we joked that I didn’t deserve it! So it’s a labor gift instead. 😆 It was a matching heart bracelet to match the heart necklace she gave me for our second transfer. Since I would be carrying her babies heart. The bracelet has 7 hearts on it. She had it made so that their would be a heart for each baby I carried and birthed!!!! You guys how incredibly sweet, beautiful and thoughtful is that. I wear it every day now just like I do my necklace. It was such a meaningful gift I just love it.
Closing this chapter of my life sucks. I wish I could say I was ready or happy but that’s just not true. I will forever miss all things pregnancy and delivery. I’m still pumping and that’s helping me feel like it’s not all over yet. I’ve been producing a lot this time and feeding babies is pretty cool! We don’t really have any freezer space but I just keep pumping. It’s been 3 months now I’m pretty proud of that accomplishment as well. I’ll add some cute pictures now. Thanks everyone for following along on this last journey and all the others you have been apart of. All the prayers and well wishes. I will be forever grateful for all of it.
My Bump, Their Bun 