The birth story.

Posted on July 17, 2023 by rashellovesricky

I’ve been putting this off I suppose. It was a wonderful special day. How sad though that this will be my forever last birth story I get to share. I mean I have had 7 so I know that’s a lot but it’s all just bitter sweet for me. So I’ll just jump right to it.

So for my last pregnant night I just enjoyed those last few kicks and playing time. I actually fell asleep pretty quickly and got up early feeling so excited for the day. I did my hair and makeup and cried a little before I left. It was a good cry. I was just so happy we made it. There was a point when I thought we may not get here. With two failed attempts before transfer three that was meant to be. Then we had such a low first beta number I was sure it was bad news again. Then we had two scares of early bleeding that we couldn’t figure out. Needless to say this baby girl was hard work to get here. But so worth every sad and scary moment. I would do it all again for her and her family.

Once we got to the hospital they got us in the room and all set up. Karen and Roger arrived soon after. We were all very excited and chatty. Once baby Mac knew we had a time set for her to come she decided she was perfectly content staying. I am still shocked I was just walking around at 5cm and 50% effaced. I was half way done with labor. Dr Sammons told me the first thing to tell them was to make sure she was still head down! So they checked and all was good. Woohoo They started my pitocin and we waited. We all took a guess at the times we thought she would get here. The nurse said well definitely before my shift is over at 5:00! I don’t remember my guess but it was after that and everyone else was guessing afternoon times.

Kailynn thought this was a super fun game and enjoyed keeping track of the times and telling everyone when they had lost as everyone’s times kept passing. I was so happy that she was able to be there with us for such an amazing experience. I have had babies for other moms and dads for basically her whole life. This was the first time she was really really into it though. Like the birth and stuff. When she had asked me if she could come and watch the baby be born I was like on man what do I say? Once I talked to Karen and she said she was fine with it I told Kailynn she could. I made sure to explain that sometimes I would be hurting and might get quite or not want to talk but that was normal and ok. We also told her if she wanted to not be there last minute she didn’t have to be.

As the hours kept passing and the day nurses left I was still laboring. I finally got to the point they said they would break my water at 5:00 I believe. I was very proud of myself for turning down the epidural still. They always try to give it to me before I feel the need for it and I promised myself not this last time! I wasn’t going to get it until I really needed it. So they broke my water and soon after the contractions started getting more intense. But I wanted to really wait to need the epidural. So I decided to do the laughing gas option. I was a little worried because before I could take it they told me I might feel really sick from it. But I ultimately decided to take it. Thankfully I never felt sick from it. I did feel like it helped. I was able to push through for another hour or two I would guess before I was ready for the epidural. Then everyone stepped out except Karen. She was so great and held my hands and let me squeeze as much as I needed too. If you have had an epidural you know all the uncomfortableness that comes with it. Its always worth it but those 10 mins of getting it all set up and ready suck! Trying to stay still and then breathe through contractions while they shove an enormous needle into your spine and tell you to wait for the odd sharp pain down your leg/legs and odd taste in your mouth. Like I said it’s all worth it though. When it was over I opened my eyes and poor Karen was crying. I felt so bad. I was like did I squeeze too hard! She just felt bad I was in pain and thanked me for everything. It was so sweet of her. ❤️ I assured her I was fine and that would be the worst part for me. After this we were smooth sailing! I think it speaks volumes of Karen though. She’s so incredibly empathetic and loving. I told her I’m not even crying so she didn’t need to worry about me. It was a beautiful moment for us. These are the moments I know it’s all worth it. I am so blessed and lucky to be her friend and be able to help her and all the other incredible women I have helped.

The meds kicked in quickly and I was feeling great after that. Just getting hungry and feeling bad everyone was waiting on me after thinking it would go so quickly. Finally we ordered food before everything closed and I was hoping I could deliver and it would still be warm ish 😆. Good news I was PUSHING when the food came. The nurses went down to get it so no one had to miss anything. If you have been around for awhile you know I’m a super pusher! I love it. Kailynn was so excited and loved every second and Karen was so great encouraging her and being there for her when I couldn’t do much obviously 😂. She was next to Karen the whole time and watched the whole thing. She was amazed and not scared at all! I loved that we got to experience this moment together. Child birth is incredible and so cool that our bodies can do this. Of course we were all so excited to meet this sweet little girl we had all waited for and prayed for. Two whole pushes and she was out! It was SO FAST! They put her on my belly so all the cord blood could be beneficial for her. Karen and I touched her and admired her beauty. Roger got to cut the cord and Karen finally got her baby girl all to herself! It was so beautiful to see her enjoying skin to skin with her perfect little daughter she’s waited so incredibly long for. It makes all the hard times we had worth it one thousand times over.

It was a perfect ending labor and delivery of my very last pregnancy and delivery. My heart is so sad knowing I will never again feel a baby moving inside my body but my heart is also so happy knowing I was blessed and able to successfully carry my own two children. Then I was then able to go on and help three other mothers. My body is amazing and I’m forever grateful for all of these experiences. I can’t imagine anything in my life ever being better then this. If you have ever considered doing this please reach out. It’s not always easy but I swear it’s so worth it!

We got to spend the next day and a half loving on little Miss Maggie Jane. I was able to nurse her in the hospital so she could get all the extra nutrients before she went home. I got lots of love and snuggles before we all went home. As usual I cried when we left. It’s such an emotional experience. I never cry because I want to take the baby home. I cry because it’s all over. All the sudden it’s just finished. My little part in their whole big lives is over. I take my job of keeping them safe during pregnancy very seriously and once it is over I know my job is done and now their parents get to take on that roll. I obviously miss them and the joy I get from pregnancy but I love knowing they are safe and loved and that I now get the joy of watching them grow and flourish in this great big world! I’m so excited to watch and see all the amazing, incredible things these children do. Seriously how lucky am I!

While I was in the hospital Karen gave me my push present. Though it was only two pushes so we joked that I didn’t deserve it! So it’s a labor gift instead. 😆 It was a matching heart bracelet to match the heart necklace she gave me for our second transfer. Since I would be carrying her babies heart. The bracelet has 7 hearts on it. She had it made so that their would be a heart for each baby I carried and birthed!!!! You guys how incredibly sweet, beautiful and thoughtful is that. I wear it every day now just like I do my necklace. It was such a meaningful gift I just love it.

Closing this chapter of my life sucks. I wish I could say I was ready or happy but that’s just not true. I will forever miss all things pregnancy and delivery. I’m still pumping and that’s helping me feel like it’s not all over yet. I’ve been producing a lot this time and feeding babies is pretty cool! We don’t really have any freezer space but I just keep pumping. It’s been 3 months now I’m pretty proud of that accomplishment as well. I’ll add some cute pictures now. Thanks everyone for following along on this last journey and all the others you have been apart of. All the prayers and well wishes. I will be forever grateful for all of it.

She peed all over me when she came out. 😆

Her first birthday cake. We ate it for her! 😆

Happy birthday! 🎂

25 weeks and 4 days!

Posted on February 6, 2023 by rashellovesricky

We are still moving right along with not much big news. I like it that way! I can definitely tell I’m hitting the 3rd trimester my back and hips are hurting a bit more and I feel like my belly is getting pretty big now. 😆 Everyone says I’m tiny but I feel large and in charge! Taking a bath definitely helps with the uncomfortableness in my back and hips. I just wish they made bathtubs for regular size people. If I’m in there either my boobs and belly stick out or I’m trying to roll side to side to stay warm. I need a deep bath I can actually lay in. Plus I know I’m short and my legs barely fit I can’t imagine all the regular or tall people out there trying to get in. 😂

Home life has been good but busy. Bo got his staples out from his emergency surgery so that’s a huge relief. In the mean time our ceilings have been needed to be repaired. The popcorn ceiling was not repaired correctly and we just decided it would be better to have them ALL removed. Oh my is my house a mess. Dust and yuck everywhere. Not to mention these guys come to work on it at 7am! We all know I need my beauty rest. I’m hoping they will be all done by the end of this week. I’m sure it will be worth it once it’s done.

In the meantime I’m soaking up all the baby wiggles and kicks I can get from this precious little girl. She’s so much fun and I’m loving every second of our time together! I know realistically we don’t have much more time and that makes me a little sad but so very happy for her mommy and daddy. I know they can’t wait to get their hands on her. She’s been so wanted and so loved for so long. She sure is going to be a lucky little girl with all the love and attention she’s about to be getting. I picked out a dress for the baby shower I think I like but I will keep my eyes open for anything else just in case. I’m excited to get away and go spend time with Molly and the family and of course Karen too in a few weeks. I have been feeling a little stir crazy lately with this winter weather. I miss sunshine and warmth. I want to go for walks outside and do fun things with family and friends. Winter is just not for me. I feel lonely and cold! I’ve not been exercising as much as I wish I was because it’s cold out. I need to at least get on the treadmill down stairs or something. Someone needs to get onto me so I will be more active!

This week on Thursday is my sugar test and regular ob appointment and another growth scan! Needless to say it will be a busy day. I have never had any issues with the glucose test except once I failed by a couple points and had to do the 3 hour one but I passed that. I think that was with Grace maybe. I’m crossing all my fingers and toes that this last pregnancy stays the same and everything will go just as smoothly. I feel so lucky that with 6 pregnancy’s everything has always been so smooth and basically easy for me. I just want to continue the last one that way! So everyone pray, send good vibes whatever you like to do. ❤️ All in all things are really going well here.

How’s Baby Mac?

Your little one is now 13-14 inches long, the size of a cabbage, and weighs about 1.7 pounds (785 grams). Baby Mac’s hair is thickening, just like yours. And even if you can’t see it, they probably have a hair color by now, though this can sometimes change after your baby is born. Baby Mac’s nostrils are starting to open and the air sacs in lungs continue to develop, priming them to breathe air in just a couple of short months.

What’s new with you?

As you approach the third trimester, this may be when some more unsavory symptoms of pregnancy begin to manifest, including gas, constipation, and hemorrhoids. 25-35% of pregnant women experience hemorrhoids because of their uterus pressing down on veins in the rectum. Kegels and avoiding constipation through exercise, hydration, and adequate fiber intake may help to prevent them. Gas is common, and may be harder to control than it normally would be, because pregnancy tends to slow down your gastrointestinal tract because of all the extra progesterone in your system and because your larger uterus has now grown to put more pressure on your abdominal cavity. Gas is inevitable for a lot of pregnant folks, but paying attention to your diet could help a bit — you may want to avoid fried foods, carbonated drinks, or any foods that you notice to be a particular trigger for you. You should also take care to hydrate, eat slowly, and chew thoroughly.

Your hormones may be acting up again, which could leave your whole body aching. These aches can be hard to avoid entirely, but there are some ways to limit them. Like a lot of things about pregnancy, when it comes to feeling good, sticking with the basics can really help: like eating a range of nutritious foods that help you feel your best, including fruits and vegetables, exercising or engaging in movement that you enjoy, and getting the rest that you need. It’s also time to start bending with your knees and engaging your core muscles instead of leaning over at your waist when you lean down to pick things up, because even simple motions like this can put a lot of extra strain on your back. And try to relax as much as you can. Maybe take a warm bath, listen to a meditation or favorite album, or ask a partner or loved one to give you a gentle massage — anything you can do to help yourself have a calm and relaxed pregnancy.

How is this even possible! Only 14 weeks left 😍

Happy 9 weeks and 3 days

Posted on October 16, 2022 by rashellovesricky

How’s Baby Mac?

Happy 9 weeks. Things are going along pretty well. I’ve still been feeling pretty good. I have had a few days were I felt nauseous and just not good. But it hasn’t been to bad. My legs are also super crazy itchy from the meds I guess. So much so that I accidentally bruised myself pretty bad. I swear I didn’t think I was scratching that hard. Just 12 more days of meds. Not that I have a count down. 😂 I get asked alot how I’m feeling and I generally always say I feel good and fine. Because that’s generally true. We did have a scare last week though I had some slight spotting of brown blood. It’s never a good thing to see blood when you are pregnant. I tried to relax and not worry. I went to the dr and thankfully baby Mac was just fine in there. We didn’t get an explanation for what or why the bleeding happened. Thankfully since then I have had nothing though so that makes things much better!

I’ve had a couple people also ask about cravings. I guess I would say I am maybe craving soups? Lol I have been eating lots of soup the last week or two. I also always crave fruit in the beginning of my pregnancy’s. I’ve always loved fruit but, with each pregnancy I feel like I just want yummy ripe fruit all the time. Our next appointment is November 3rd. Karen is going to be in town for this one. I’m excited for her to be here. It feels like it’s been forever since I have seen her now. I’m thinking of all the fun St. Louis things to show her. Mostly food! 😆

Baby Mac is now almost an inch long (.9 inches), the size of a pecan, and though they’re not fully developed, all of their essential muscles and body parts are present. Your little one’s kidneys, liver, brain and lungs that are all starting to function on their own too, and they’re even starting to develop taste buds! Although Baby Mac’s eyes are forming more complex structures, their eyelids will shortly fuse shut for another four months or so. Your baby’s inner ear is also beginning to form the fluid that will allow them to develop a sense of balance. Baby Mac also has toes, bones in their arms, and joints that bend in their elbows.

Perhaps the most exciting part about week 9 is the increased likelihood that you may be able to hear Baby Mac’s heartbeat using a fetal doppler, a super special first for you and your little one. Baby Mac’s heart has been beating for a while now, but now it’s really starting to develop, forming distinct chambers and valves. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

Last ultrasound before transfer!

Posted on August 23, 2022 by rashellovesricky

Ok today was our last ultrasound and blood work before transferring on the 30th! So just 7 days away. I’m happy to report everything looked good lining wise and we are just waiting for my blood work results to come back although I expect them to be fine also. My lining looked to be 14/15 in thickness this week so that’s good they want over a 8 I believe.

We had a great trip in Branson visiting our GG and the kids went back to school yesterday. I’m happy and sad. I love spending summers with the kids but I know they enjoy seeing friends and lord knows they need some structure and less snacks all day! 😂

Karen and I are both feeling excited and anxious. As to be expected I suppose. I still don’t know if I will test this time. My heart and brain are saying no right now at least. I haven’t even bought any tests this time. Usually by now I would have already had a stack ready to go. I’m still hurt by the fact that last time we were pregnant and then suddenly it all just went away. Talk about cruel. We all had the rug ripped from under us. It was just so sad.

I’ve still been doing my acupuncture twice a week and today’s session was my most relaxing yet! I honestly think I fell asleep a bit. I definitely didn’t think I would be able to relax that much knowing I had needles poking out of me. I told Heather my acupuncturist that these were the last two she would see me for and that now all the pressure is on her for our success! Haha She’s so sweet and said she would take all the pressure so I didn’t have it.

Karen already has appointments for me set up when I am in town for the acupuncture the day before and day of transfer. I’m happy to feel like we are doing everything we can to help this little embryo along. We will be transferring another girl this time. I’m praying my body is exactly what she needs and I can provide a soft, fluffy, cozy little home for her until she’s big enough to go live in her home with her mommy and daddy.

Today before I took Everett to school he was asking me if this would be the last baby I would have. I told him I think so as long as the baby sticks in my belly. He said mom you sure have had a lot of babies! I said I know but I really love to be pregnant and have babies. I asked him what he would have thought if I would have wanted that manny babies for our own family and we had to keep them all. He said well I think that’s too many babies for us. Lol he then said if I did have that many to keep he just wanted 4 boys and 4 girls so it could be even. Kids are just so fun.

Well now I’ll just wait for the all clear from Carrie at FCI in chicago. Once she says we are all good I’ll wean off my Lupron this week and I will be doing the big butt shots later this week and all the pills I have to take. Then I’ll fly out Monday and do the transfer on Tuesday. Remember the new motto!

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE ✨

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE✨

First ultrasound today.

Posted on August 9, 2022 by rashellovesricky

I’ve been on the Lupron but today was our first ultrasound and blood work. I got up got there. I was just expecting my usual when all the sudden she says oh well looks like you have a fibroid! I was shocked and didn’t know what to think. I immediately said well I bet this cycle is canceled. I have never had a fibroid as far as I know but I figured no way it was a good thing. My ultra sonographer was so sweet and did her best to talk me off my ledge. She explained that they are very common and that it was actually super tiny and not at all in the way of my lining. It was nice but I definitely was still upset. I even told her I probably wouldn’t see her next week. 😔

As soon as I got to the car I called Karen. I explained what they say and that the ultra sonographer was not worried but I really was. I was super upset because they made me be put under for the HSC procedure to check for any polyps scar tissue etc. this was literally 30 days ago and they said everything was all good and clear. How the heck does this just happen? I was honestly heart broken. I just felt like my body was giving up on us. I called Ricky and he was nice and too calm about it all. I just wanted someone else to also feel horrible about the news and to be sad and angry with me but he wasn’t. He told me there was only room for one of us to be all worried and worked up. That’s true and I’m glad he didn’t also freak out with me. It really wouldn’t have done me any good.

I went straight to acupuncture and was in tears. Going twice a week I feel like we are all besties there now. 😂 The girls were so kind and I explained what the ultrasound showed and Heather just listened and put in my needles. I closed my eyes and just rested and prayed. I prayed it would go away and that it wouldn’t be an issue for baby being able to implant. I prayed that we wouldn’t have to cancel it all and do more tests and procedures. I actually really did get to relax while I was there. I did feel more calm and at peace while I was laying there. I needed that because I was obnoxiously stressed and anxious at this point.

Once I was done I went to the car to come home and I decided to just call FCI and ask to talk to a nurse. Thankfully I was able to get through quickly and tell her what happened and ask her opinion. I knew she didn’t have the official report yet but I told her I just couldn’t wait all day waiting to hear if it was likely going to be bad news. So I told her everything I was told and waited for her to tell me what I just knew was the bad news coming our way. 😔

Much to my surprise she wasn’t surprised or shocked in the least. She said it was super common and that if didn’t sound like I should be worried at all. She said obviously she needed to see the report and have the DR go over it but that she didn’t expect it to be anything to worry about especially since we just did the HSC test. This was very reassuring for the time being. I called Karen and cried a bit because I was so relieved that my body was still ok and working hard for us.

I real take this so so seriously! It’s not lost on me how much trust these families have put into me. I just need to learn to not put so much pressure on myself. I know I can only do so much it’s just hard to remind myself of that. I had to wait a few more hours to wait for the other nurse to call me and really confirm all was ok. I let the doubts and anxiety slip back in. I always go to the worst case scenarios.

When she called I was of course with a client at work but she was so kind and let me answer. Thankfully they re confirmed all was still a go and that it was super super tiny and not of concern. I could have cried again. So in a few days now I will be adding in the estrogen to start bulking up and building my lining to a super thick and cozy home the new little embryo! I’m praying so hard that this little one is actually the one. The third times the charm!!!

I’m hoping at next week’s appointment my fibroid has just disappeared or that it at least stays small and doesn’t get in the way of anything. Thanks as usual to everyone for the thoughts and prayers during all this. It’s such a crazy roller coaster of emotions. I’ll update next week after our next appointment.

3 day past 6 day transfer

Posted on June 3, 2022 by rashellovesricky

I’m officially 3 days past the transfer at like 10 am today. I’m still in Chicago. I stayed in bed for two solid days. Day of transfer and the day after. Yesterday I ventured out and walked around. The weather was gorgeous low 70’s. I had some cramping the first day and a half I would say. Now nothing. It’s so hard knowing they put the embryo in and now you have to wait and over analyze every little thing. I have hours where I’m so at peace and confident that this time it’s the time. I feel like we had such a great transfer day. The embryo looked SO SO great and my lining was even thicker then last time. Plus the music gave me such comfort. It all seemed so meant to be. But then I also have too much time on my hands because I’m here alone 😂. That’s when my brain starts saying STOP you can’t be too excited Rashel. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Then I spiral into what if it fails again. What if I take test after test and they are all white again. I will once again have to feel all the emotions while on all these crazy medications. Then I pick myself back up and say no stay positive. I know I have done everything perfectly. Taken all the meds and all the appointments looked great. My body has done everything it’s supposed to so that this little girl should want to stay. It’s now up to her, God and science!

I did finish my book and have watched some tv. Today is my last day in Chicago I go home tomorrow morning. Today is a BIG day for Karen she has been working hard for this fundraising event to help the boys and girls club. They will all get to wear gorgeous gowns and drink and dance the night away. Hopefully they raise lots of money from the auction to help the club. I get to go do hair for everyone tonight before they go out! I’m excited for that.

We decided to take our test tomorrow morning before I leave for the airport. I didn’t want to test today and her be sad or disappointed for the event she worked so hard for. Plus hopefully tomorrow we can have a stronger line on the test anyway. I keep visualizing there being two lines. We want it so bad. I know even if a line doesn’t show up tomorrow we would have time for it to show up but it sure would be nice to see it earlier. I really want Karen to have such great news.

Karen also gave me one of the best gifts ever while I was here. She is seriously too kind and a wonderful gift giver. She gave me a copy of a special poem that has significant meaning to her and Rodger. They always tell each other they have each other’s hearts and carry them. So then she gave me a heart necklace to Symbolize that I get to carry their baby’s heart! You guys 😭😭😭😭 it was so so beautiful. The meaning behind it is so incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky to be trusted with peoples most precious of things. Their babies! That will never be lost on me. I just keep praying so hard that this little girl is strong! That she can find a perfect cozy spot inside of me so that she can live and grow! So I can hold and protect her tiny heart until she’s big enough and ready to go to her mommy and daddy! I will keep this necklace on forever. ❤️🥰❤️

For a funny story yesterday Ricky told me that the cardinals were actually here in Chicago playing! I had no idea. So I was with Molly and I teased him that Molly just said I could go with them! (They always get season tickets and he knows it) I will upload the screen shots from our text. Let’s just say Ricky wasn’t happy that he didn’t get to go. 😂 But then when I got back to the room I had a delivery! It was an edible arrangement. Now I felt extra bad for the trick because I still hadn’t told him I wasn’t actually going to the game. Turns out he went to his physical therapy appointment and told everyone there how excited he was for me that I was going to a cards cubs game at Wrigley Field. 😆

So I will update everyone tomorrow at some point about our first test. Please PLEASE be praying and sending all your good thoughts and emotions our way. We need them. here are the fun pictures so far.

Second message and then he FaceTimed us! 😂

I just happened to have packed one cards shirt so I put it on to show him I was going! 😂

Transfer day try number 2!

Posted on May 31, 2022 by rashellovesricky

I flew in yesterday alone. Ricky couldn’t come with me this time. I was a little sad but honestly a hotel all alone is kind of a nice thought as a mom. I brought two books and hoping to finish at least one. Last night I spent the night enjoying margaritas and wine with the girls. We laughed and laughed for hours and ate yummy food. It was a perfect night to keep busy and keep my mind off things. I got back to the hotel by like 10ish. I fell right asleep! (Thanks wine) 😂 I kept waking up all night though checking the time and having super weird dreams. I finally got up at 5 am and took a bath. This is a different hotel but also has a wonderful bath tub. I’m really going to need to invest in a bathtub for home. I got out and tried to lay back down. Surprisingly I fell asleep for another hour or so.

I got up to get ready and turned on my Christian radio on my phone. Almost immediately my favorite song came on and I sat on the floor and had a really good crying and praying session. Then the next song was even more impactful. I hate being emotional and crying but on things like this it’s all just TOO important. Im praying so so hard this time is it. This little girl needs to dig in deep so she can come meet us all in 9 plus months. She’s so very loved and wanted. I’ll include links to the songs if you want to listen. These are the order they came came on.

https://youtu.be/FW5o2uBeMWQ

https://youtu.be/YqHjjZz1Syg

This song was so so good and needed this morning.

Im still surprised by how perfect the songs were this morning when I needed them most. Today our plan is coming back to rest and order room service. Watch tv or a movie or read or nap or anything we want! Karen is going to be here in like 8 mins so I need to get down stairs. I’ll update later when I can.

Such a fun night full of laughter and fun.

Now I’m back in the room. Transfer is over. I was STARVING after so Karen and I ordered room service and it was super yummy. I decided to nap after so I slept for almost 3 hours. 😂😳 That’s a hefty nap even for me. I have been on the pio shots now for awhile and it makes your body think it’s pregnant so I know it’s making me extra sleepy too. For some exciting news: I for the first time gave myself my own BUTT SHOT!!! I decided since Ricky couldn’t come that I would be brave and try myself. Actually it was SO much easier and better when I do them myself. I can’t believe after all these years and transfers I’ve finally done them myself. I think because I’m doing it the anticipation isn’t so bad. So woohoo for me. My butt is still sore and lumpy from the meds but the actual injection itself isn’t so bad now that I’m doing them. Just getting the angle part right is hard. I have to be a pro contortionist 😂.

So now we will wait and hope and pray this little girl is sticking in there. I believe Karen and I will test again before I leave but I’m leaving it up to her. As for now we are staying positive and hopeful. The baby girl embryo looked so so good. She was hatching a lot even the Dr made note of how great it looked.

Look at this little lady go! GROW BABY GROW!

This is the video of the actual transfer. I know I’ve had people ask what they actually do. ❤️

My last 2 appointments

Posted on May 23, 2022 by rashellovesricky

Well I didn’t update after my last one. 😂 Sorry guys. My last appointment was last Wednesday my lining thickness was 14! Again I only need to be at a 10 anymore is just a bonus. So today when I went in I was at about 18 she said. This is even thicker then last transfer so I’m hoping this will be extra helpful for baby girl to snuggle in deep.

This week we went to the zoo and we had a great time with the kids. I tried to convince Ricky to take me and the kids to Disney this weekend before my transfer but he said no and when I looked up the parks we couldn’t even get in to the ones I wanted to go to. 😂 So I guess my idea won’t happen. Our Puppy Bo Bear is getting super big and still learning and eating all the things he shouldn’t. Like leaves, sticks, mulch and paper. Good news he’s so cute we love him anyway.

Im excited for my blood work to come back and see what my estrogen is at because I know it’s super HIGH. I can cry just thinking about crying. 😭 😂 I have cried watching silly tv shows and I almost cried at the zoo yesterday. I don’t even remember why that’s how emotional I am right now. The silliest things just put me over the edge.

I’ll wait for FCI (the fertility clinic) to call me today with their update and then on Monday I will be flying out to Chicago. Karen and I are so excited to try again I have everything crossed and so many prayers that this time it will work. I need to see a positive pregnancy test this time! If I’m looking for up sides I’ll get to go back to Chicago and see my friends and enjoy a nice hotel stay without the kids and Ricky. I will get to sleep in and order food or go shopping 🛍 on Michigan Avenue! I’m sure I will come up with plenty to do. I can also finish reading my book I started.

I’ll update everyone on transfer day. Keep the prayers and good thoughts coming our way!

My sweet message from Ricky before my appointment today

Support

Posted on April 9, 2022 by rashellovesricky

Look at these beautiful flowers that arrived today. I was definitely surprised to say the least. The extra family/friendship I have gained from surrogacy is something I often struggle to put into words. The love and support I share with these 3 women are beyond what I ever dreamed or expected. We all share something most others will never understand. We have been together during some of the most important and exciting times of each other’s lives. We have also been together through some of the saddest and most difficult.

These women/families have literally seen me naked pushing out their babies. Poor Molly and Jon watched me bleed out. They have watched me cry and held me for epidurals. Let me squeeze hands while I was pushing and held my super heavy legs up. 😆

So often you hear of mean, jealous, gossiping women. We have all met women like this. I am happy to say I have created friendships and bonds with women that are 100% not like that! I love that through all my journeys I have built real life long friends. Molly was so supportive and excited when I helped Jenn! Now here Jenn is being so supportive when I try to help Karen. The exciting texts and calls for big days don’t go unnoticed. I love that we all share something that no one else could possibly understand.

I’m sad these women couldn’t carry their own babies but how blessed am I that I was able to meet them because of it. My life would be so very different without all these people in it.

Jenn these flowers mean more then you know. Your family and our friendship is such a wonderful gift to me and my family.

Molly and Karen have called multiple times sent texts and left sweet messages checking in on me. It’s all these things that make the hard times worth it. I know the exciting times are coming and all the sad hard times will be worth it. ❤️

People tell me over and over how wonderful or special I am. Seriously my hand to God I am the one to have been blessed beyond measure by these families I have helped. It’s indescribable. 🥰

Beta day

Posted on April 7, 2022 by rashellovesricky

Well beta day is usually filled with excitement trying to think of how high your first beta numbers may be. They like to see over 100. Obviously with all my negative tests I wasn’t expecting a good outcome. I won’t lie though I was still secretly hoping for a miracle.

I got the results about 2ish they called and I already knew because I had checked my quest email a few minutes before. It was definitely negative. I know I/we gave this baby girl all we could and for some reason God must have had another plan. It 100% still sucks and I hate it. This part never seems fair. I mean we did EVERYTHING we were supposed to do. All my meds all my appointments looked good. My lining was triple striped. The embryos are all genetically tested and graded. All they can say is sorry and sometimes it still doesn’t work. 😔

I take comfort in knowing that I did my very best to give her a loving, thick, warm little uterus to try her very best to snuggle into. I feel grateful knowing that I am trusted by Karen and Rodger to hold their baby until she or he is ready for this great big world. What a honor and privilege it is for these families to trust me with literally the most precious cargo. ❤️

If I’m trying to find a bright side then these are the things.

1. I stop meds today so no more butt shots! I now get a break for a bit.

2. I’m going to have a drink tonight! I deserve it! 😂

3. I get to go back to Chicago and visit my friends again. I’ll bring them more salsa too!

So now the plan is to stop meds wait for a terrible period and start birth control again. Then I will go right back into Lupron and eventually progesterone in oil again before transfer (butt shots). Then transfer another sweet embryo into my uterus again. I’m sad but also happy to have a plan moving forward. Here is to a hopeful may transfer!

Sorry I also hate when I post the negative sad stuff but it’s real and sadly part of the process.

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