Happy 9 weeks. Things are going along pretty well. I’ve still been feeling pretty good. I have had a few days were I felt nauseous and just not good. But it hasn’t been to bad. My legs are also super crazy itchy from the meds I guess. So much so that I accidentally bruised myself pretty bad. I swear I didn’t think I was scratching that hard. Just 12 more days of meds. Not that I have a count down. 😂 I get asked alot how I’m feeling and I generally always say I feel good and fine. Because that’s generally true. We did have a scare last week though I had some slight spotting of brown blood. It’s never a good thing to see blood when you are pregnant. I tried to relax and not worry. I went to the dr and thankfully baby Mac was just fine in there. We didn’t get an explanation for what or why the bleeding happened. Thankfully since then I have had nothing though so that makes things much better!
I’ve had a couple people also ask about cravings. I guess I would say I am maybe craving soups? Lol I have been eating lots of soup the last week or two. I also always crave fruit in the beginning of my pregnancy’s. I’ve always loved fruit but, with each pregnancy I feel like I just want yummy ripe fruit all the time. Our next appointment is November 3rd. Karen is going to be in town for this one. I’m excited for her to be here. It feels like it’s been forever since I have seen her now. I’m thinking of all the fun St. Louis things to show her. Mostly food! 😆
Baby Mac is now almost an inch long (.9 inches), the size of a pecan, and though they’re not fully developed, all of their essential muscles and body parts are present. Your little one’s kidneys, liver, brain and lungs that are all starting to function on their own too, and they’re even starting to develop taste buds! Although Baby Mac’s eyes are forming more complex structures, their eyelids will shortly fuse shut for another four months or so. Your baby’s inner ear is also beginning to form the fluid that will allow them to develop a sense of balance. Baby Mac also has toes, bones in their arms, and joints that bend in their elbows.
Perhaps the most exciting part about week 9 is the increased likelihood that you may be able to hear Baby Mac’s heartbeat using a fetal doppler, a super special first for you and your little one. Baby Mac’s heart has been beating for a while now, but now it’s really starting to develop, forming distinct chambers and valves. They grow up so fast, don’t they?
I have a drs appointment at 10:45 but figured I would update now. So far things have been going great. I feel totally normal as usual other then the pregnancy headaches I get from time to time. I haven’t had any this week though so that’s been really nice! On one hand I’m so surprised it’s been so hard and taken us this long to get here. This has definitely been my hardest ivf experience. So so many shots and the emotions can be overwhelming. On the other hand I’m like WOW 8 weeks! I seriously can’t believe I’m 2 months in. It almost makes me sad really. I just love pregnancy so much and everything goes so quickly. Im really trying to enjoy each and every step knowing this is my very last one. 😔 (I know I have said my last one like the last 3 😂) This is baby number 7 though so this should probably be it. Ricky is ready for me to be done. I on the other hand would honestly probably have babies for people until I was 50 if I could! I think there will always be apart of me that is sad knowing I will never be pregnant again. That these are the last baby movements I will get to feel. That this birth will be it. My last. Sad is the only word I have for that. It’s sad.
I also know how blessed I am though that my body has done all of these thing. That God has allowed me to have my two perfect babies and then go on to have 4 more with 5 cooking! 7 babies honestly doesn’t even seem real to me. I am so blessed to have had all these babies. I love my little part in their big lives. I’m so excited for this pregnancy to progress and for all the fun things I know are coming. Her little movements! That’s always my favorite. I want to slow down though and not rush this. I’m sure Karen and Rodger are the opposite they obviously want this time to go quickly so they can have her back. I guess I hope times goes slower for me and super fast for them. 😆 That seems fair!
Like I said I feel great. Some of my pants feel tight at the end of my day but that’s what stretchy leggings are for! I wouldn’t say I’m craving anything really yet. Oh I forgot to say I will get to stop my meds and shots on Oct 28th!!! I do want to rush that part by. Obviously the shots are zero fun and then I feel like I’m a regular pregnant person when I don’t have to stab and inject myself every single day. (Worth it though)
I still hope and pray that baby girl is growing and enjoying her cozy little belly home. It’s amazing to me every single time I read what the baby is doing and how they are growing. Each pregnancy this part excites me. I love seeing and reading all about it on my pregnancy apps. It’s so amazing how fast they grow and all the changes that happen in 9ish short months.
As always thanks everyone for the love and support.
At eight weeks pregnant, Baby Mac is dancing up a storm and won’t be an embryo for much longer!
How’s Baby Mac?
Baby Mac is in their last few days of being an embryo, which means that the brand new, teeny tiny internal organs and systems under their see-through skin are almost all formed, though they’ll continue to develop over the next several months. That tail is also celebrating its last hurrah, and pretty soon it will disappear completely. Baby Mac’s webbed fingers and toes are poking out from their little limbs, which are growing longer every day. And your little one’s facial features are becoming more prominent, as their lips, nose, and eyelids are looking increasingly human-like. Your strawberry-sized bundle of joy is also moving around like crazy, although you almost certainly cannot feel it. Baby Mac’s head, still tiny compared to yours but large in proportion to the rest of their body, now makes up half of their total body weight!
What’s new with you?
Your baby bulge might start protruding at this time, as your appetite increases to match Baby Mac’s. The placenta is also picking up its hormone production, giving yours a break. You’ll likely start to see fewer mood swings soon.
If you’re noticing new growth at your midsection, it may not be a baby bump just yet. At this point it’s probably just water retention. While you might not be showing yet, your uterus has already started growing, and that growth is only going to speed up in the coming weeks!
If you’ve had a good appetite so far in pregnancy, some of that growth at your midsection could also be whatever foods you’ve been noshing on. (If you haven’t experienced any morning sickness yet, there’s a good chance you’re not going to — lucky you!) And if you’ve been experiencing cravings, you’re not alone. Many pregnant folks experience cravings during pregnancy. Cravings are a lot like aversions in that we don’t know exactly what causes them, though it seems likely that it’s got something to do with all the hormones coursing through your body. One theory is that cravings point out nutrients you need more of in your life. Cravings probably also have as much to do with your need for stress relief or your heightened sense of smell as they do with anything else. Keep in mind that cravings are not your enemy — they’re a normal part of pregnancy. So whether you’re craving spicy sweet potatoes or caramel ice cream, an oat milk latte or pan-fried tilapia, if you want to follow through on those cravings, know that it’s okay to do so in moderation. (Though if you’re craving non-food items, like dirt or paint, be sure to speak to your healthcare provider, as you may be experiencing pica, a nutrient deficiency.) Remember that when it comes to your diet, it’s really all about balance.
But if eating is a struggle right now and you’re feeling rather nauseous — and for many folks morning sickness can be rather rough at this time — trying sucking on a ginger lollipop or switching to a chewable prenatal vitamin. You might also consider eating smaller meals while increasing the number of times you eat throughout the day. And if your morning sickness is really bad or you are concerned about dehydration, speak to your provider.
And if you don’t typically engage in physical activity or just haven’t been feeling up to it recently, you may want to see if you can engage in a half hour of light exercise or some gentle movement each day — doing some movement that you feel good about can help you feel much better on all fronts
This was me the other night. My belly was very big so I’m blaming this tiny strawberry girl. 😂
Today was our first ultrasound. Baby girl was in there and her little heart was flickering on the screen. It was such a beautiful little thing to see. We have all worked so so hard to get here. I’m so happy that it seems like we have made it to the other side now. I hope she keeps growing big and strong. I’m just so happy and thankful. She had a heart rate of 110 bpm
I’ve been on the Lupron but today was our first ultrasound and blood work. I got up got there. I was just expecting my usual when all the sudden she says oh well looks like you have a fibroid! I was shocked and didn’t know what to think. I immediately said well I bet this cycle is canceled. I have never had a fibroid as far as I know but I figured no way it was a good thing. My ultra sonographer was so sweet and did her best to talk me off my ledge. She explained that they are very common and that it was actually super tiny and not at all in the way of my lining. It was nice but I definitely was still upset. I even told her I probably wouldn’t see her next week. 😔
As soon as I got to the car I called Karen. I explained what they say and that the ultra sonographer was not worried but I really was. I was super upset because they made me be put under for the HSC procedure to check for any polyps scar tissue etc. this was literally 30 days ago and they said everything was all good and clear. How the heck does this just happen? I was honestly heart broken. I just felt like my body was giving up on us. I called Ricky and he was nice and too calm about it all. I just wanted someone else to also feel horrible about the news and to be sad and angry with me but he wasn’t. He told me there was only room for one of us to be all worried and worked up. That’s true and I’m glad he didn’t also freak out with me. It really wouldn’t have done me any good.
I went straight to acupuncture and was in tears. Going twice a week I feel like we are all besties there now. 😂 The girls were so kind and I explained what the ultrasound showed and Heather just listened and put in my needles. I closed my eyes and just rested and prayed. I prayed it would go away and that it wouldn’t be an issue for baby being able to implant. I prayed that we wouldn’t have to cancel it all and do more tests and procedures. I actually really did get to relax while I was there. I did feel more calm and at peace while I was laying there. I needed that because I was obnoxiously stressed and anxious at this point.
Once I was done I went to the car to come home and I decided to just call FCI and ask to talk to a nurse. Thankfully I was able to get through quickly and tell her what happened and ask her opinion. I knew she didn’t have the official report yet but I told her I just couldn’t wait all day waiting to hear if it was likely going to be bad news. So I told her everything I was told and waited for her to tell me what I just knew was the bad news coming our way. 😔
Much to my surprise she wasn’t surprised or shocked in the least. She said it was super common and that if didn’t sound like I should be worried at all. She said obviously she needed to see the report and have the DR go over it but that she didn’t expect it to be anything to worry about especially since we just did the HSC test. This was very reassuring for the time being. I called Karen and cried a bit because I was so relieved that my body was still ok and working hard for us.
I real take this so so seriously! It’s not lost on me how much trust these families have put into me. I just need to learn to not put so much pressure on myself. I know I can only do so much it’s just hard to remind myself of that. I had to wait a few more hours to wait for the other nurse to call me and really confirm all was ok. I let the doubts and anxiety slip back in. I always go to the worst case scenarios.
When she called I was of course with a client at work but she was so kind and let me answer. Thankfully they re confirmed all was still a go and that it was super super tiny and not of concern. I could have cried again. So in a few days now I will be adding in the estrogen to start bulking up and building my lining to a super thick and cozy home the new little embryo! I’m praying so hard that this little one is actually the one. The third times the charm!!!
I’m hoping at next week’s appointment my fibroid has just disappeared or that it at least stays small and doesn’t get in the way of anything. Thanks as usual to everyone for the thoughts and prayers during all this. It’s such a crazy roller coaster of emotions. I’ll update next week after our next appointment.
I’m officially 3 days past the transfer at like 10 am today. I’m still in Chicago. I stayed in bed for two solid days. Day of transfer and the day after. Yesterday I ventured out and walked around. The weather was gorgeous low 70’s. I had some cramping the first day and a half I would say. Now nothing. It’s so hard knowing they put the embryo in and now you have to wait and over analyze every little thing. I have hours where I’m so at peace and confident that this time it’s the time. I feel like we had such a great transfer day. The embryo looked SO SO great and my lining was even thicker then last time. Plus the music gave me such comfort. It all seemed so meant to be. But then I also have too much time on my hands because I’m here alone 😂. That’s when my brain starts saying STOP you can’t be too excited Rashel. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Then I spiral into what if it fails again. What if I take test after test and they are all white again. I will once again have to feel all the emotions while on all these crazy medications. Then I pick myself back up and say no stay positive. I know I have done everything perfectly. Taken all the meds and all the appointments looked great. My body has done everything it’s supposed to so that this little girl should want to stay. It’s now up to her, God and science!
I did finish my book and have watched some tv. Today is my last day in Chicago I go home tomorrow morning. Today is a BIG day for Karen she has been working hard for this fundraising event to help the boys and girls club. They will all get to wear gorgeous gowns and drink and dance the night away. Hopefully they raise lots of money from the auction to help the club. I get to go do hair for everyone tonight before they go out! I’m excited for that.
We decided to take our test tomorrow morning before I leave for the airport. I didn’t want to test today and her be sad or disappointed for the event she worked so hard for. Plus hopefully tomorrow we can have a stronger line on the test anyway. I keep visualizing there being two lines. We want it so bad. I know even if a line doesn’t show up tomorrow we would have time for it to show up but it sure would be nice to see it earlier. I really want Karen to have such great news.
Karen also gave me one of the best gifts ever while I was here. She is seriously too kind and a wonderful gift giver. She gave me a copy of a special poem that has significant meaning to her and Rodger. They always tell each other they have each other’s hearts and carry them. So then she gave me a heart necklace to Symbolize that I get to carry their baby’s heart! You guys 😭😭😭😭 it was so so beautiful. The meaning behind it is so incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky to be trusted with peoples most precious of things. Their babies! That will never be lost on me. I just keep praying so hard that this little girl is strong! That she can find a perfect cozy spot inside of me so that she can live and grow! So I can hold and protect her tiny heart until she’s big enough and ready to go to her mommy and daddy! I will keep this necklace on forever. ❤️🥰❤️
For a funny story yesterday Ricky told me that the cardinals were actually here in Chicago playing! I had no idea. So I was with Molly and I teased him that Molly just said I could go with them! (They always get season tickets and he knows it) I will upload the screen shots from our text. Let’s just say Ricky wasn’t happy that he didn’t get to go. 😂 But then when I got back to the room I had a delivery! It was an edible arrangement. Now I felt extra bad for the trick because I still hadn’t told him I wasn’t actually going to the game. Turns out he went to his physical therapy appointment and told everyone there how excited he was for me that I was going to a cards cubs game at Wrigley Field. 😆
So I will update everyone tomorrow at some point about our first test. Please PLEASE be praying and sending all your good thoughts and emotions our way. We need them. here are the fun pictures so far.
First messages! Second message and then he FaceTimed us! 😂 I just happened to have packed one cards shirt so I put it on to show him I was going! 😂 My delicious delivery ❤️😘❤️The poem. ❤️😭❤️It’s so so pretty It’s perfect!!!
I flew in yesterday alone. Ricky couldn’t come with me this time. I was a little sad but honestly a hotel all alone is kind of a nice thought as a mom. I brought two books and hoping to finish at least one. Last night I spent the night enjoying margaritas and wine with the girls. We laughed and laughed for hours and ate yummy food. It was a perfect night to keep busy and keep my mind off things. I got back to the hotel by like 10ish. I fell right asleep! (Thanks wine) 😂 I kept waking up all night though checking the time and having super weird dreams. I finally got up at 5 am and took a bath. This is a different hotel but also has a wonderful bath tub. I’m really going to need to invest in a bathtub for home. I got out and tried to lay back down. Surprisingly I fell asleep for another hour or so.
I got up to get ready and turned on my Christian radio on my phone. Almost immediately my favorite song came on and I sat on the floor and had a really good crying and praying session. Then the next song was even more impactful. I hate being emotional and crying but on things like this it’s all just TOO important. Im praying so so hard this time is it. This little girl needs to dig in deep so she can come meet us all in 9 plus months. She’s so very loved and wanted. I’ll include links to the songs if you want to listen. These are the order they came came on.
Im still surprised by how perfect the songs were this morning when I needed them most. Today our plan is coming back to rest and order room service. Watch tv or a movie or read or nap or anything we want! Karen is going to be here in like 8 mins so I need to get down stairs. I’ll update later when I can.
It’s too risky to get sick now! How sweet was this from the hotel. ❤️Such a fun night full of laughter and fun.
Now I’m back in the room. Transfer is over. I was STARVING after so Karen and I ordered room service and it was super yummy. I decided to nap after so I slept for almost 3 hours. 😂😳 That’s a hefty nap even for me. I have been on the pio shots now for awhile and it makes your body think it’s pregnant so I know it’s making me extra sleepy too. For some exciting news: I for the first time gave myself my own BUTT SHOT!!! I decided since Ricky couldn’t come that I would be brave and try myself. Actually it was SO much easier and better when I do them myself. I can’t believe after all these years and transfers I’ve finally done them myself. I think because I’m doing it the anticipation isn’t so bad. So woohoo for me. My butt is still sore and lumpy from the meds but the actual injection itself isn’t so bad now that I’m doing them. Just getting the angle part right is hard. I have to be a pro contortionist 😂.
So now we will wait and hope and pray this little girl is sticking in there. I believe Karen and I will test again before I leave but I’m leaving it up to her. As for now we are staying positive and hopeful. The baby girl embryo looked so so good. She was hatching a lot even the Dr made note of how great it looked.
Look I’m getting pregnant! 😂 Look at this little lady go! GROW BABY GROW! This is the video of the actual transfer. I know I’ve had people ask what they actually do. ❤️
Well I didn’t update after my last one. 😂 Sorry guys. My last appointment was last Wednesday my lining thickness was 14! Again I only need to be at a 10 anymore is just a bonus. So today when I went in I was at about 18 she said. This is even thicker then last transfer so I’m hoping this will be extra helpful for baby girl to snuggle in deep.
This week we went to the zoo and we had a great time with the kids. I tried to convince Ricky to take me and the kids to Disney this weekend before my transfer but he said no and when I looked up the parks we couldn’t even get in to the ones I wanted to go to. 😂 So I guess my idea won’t happen. Our Puppy Bo Bear is getting super big and still learning and eating all the things he shouldn’t. Like leaves, sticks, mulch and paper. Good news he’s so cute we love him anyway.
Im excited for my blood work to come back and see what my estrogen is at because I know it’s super HIGH. I can cry just thinking about crying. 😭 😂 I have cried watching silly tv shows and I almost cried at the zoo yesterday. I don’t even remember why that’s how emotional I am right now. The silliest things just put me over the edge.
I’ll wait for FCI (the fertility clinic) to call me today with their update and then on Monday I will be flying out to Chicago. Karen and I are so excited to try again I have everything crossed and so many prayers that this time it will work. I need to see a positive pregnancy test this time! If I’m looking for up sides I’ll get to go back to Chicago and see my friends and enjoy a nice hotel stay without the kids and Ricky. I will get to sleep in and order food or go shopping 🛍 on Michigan Avenue! I’m sure I will come up with plenty to do. I can also finish reading my book I started.
I’ll update everyone on transfer day. Keep the prayers and good thoughts coming our way!
This was last weeks at 14 for thickness Blood work from last week Today’s lining at 18ish 😍My sweet message from Ricky before my appointment today Look how big this dog is getting!
Today is the day I start meds again. I will be starting the Lupron shots again tonight. This is the drug that puts my body into menopause. So I get super rage and all the other stuff. Like night sweats, insomnia and other fun stuff. Karen said I can call her and rage whenever I need too. 😆
I will go for lining check and blood work for the next 3 weeks and then I will fly out on the 30th for our transfer on the 31st! So just 29 days until transfer. I’m really hoping and praying this little girl sticks this time. I’m going to make sure to tell Dr Kaplan to push her in a little deeper this time. 😂 I will stay a few days after like last time and we will test together again before I leave.
It really REALLY sucked last time testing together and not getting a positive but I also know just how incredible and exciting it will be if we test together and we do get a positive so that’s what I’m really hoping happens this time. Ricky won’t be able to go with me this time. I have mixed emotions about it. 😂 Down side he won’t be there to spend time with when I’m bored… He also will not be able to give me my shots. Karen said she’s going to be brave and do them! I know she will do fine. The perks of Ricky not going are I get to be in a hotel room alone! I can watch what I pick, eat when I want and nap and shop when I want! No husband to say I don’t think you need that do you… 😆 I mean does anyone really NEED anything?
My Birthday is 6/8 and I’m telling everyone all I want for my birthday this year is to get pregnant with Karen and Rodgers baby! Plus any other gifts people decide they must get me. Im a size 12 days at the beach kinnda girl. 😆 So hopefully God willing this transfer will work just fine and then on 6/10 will be our first blood test to check for beta numbers. They typically like to see around 100 or more. I’ve always had a big mix of numbers. Ellie was my lowest at like 70 something and then I have had some pretty high ones where I was like oh crap what if this little one split into twins! I won’t lie that’s always my big fear.
Twins would be exciting and I would do my very best but I would just worry selfishly about me not being able to work as much and honestly just keeping two babies healthy in there. I know I’m a pro with one! I’ll post a picture of my med calendar so you all can see how crazy and in depth this stuff is. I read it each morning and each night just to make sure I am doing everything properly. I don’t want to mess anything up.
As always thanks for the continued thoughts and prayers for the baby, parents and me! Don’t forget to pray for Ricky and my kids who have a bit of a crazy rage mom for a few weeks. 😂
Say it with me: This time is the right time, this time baby girl is going to dig in deep and my body is ready to help her grow. 🥰
Look at these beautiful flowers that arrived today. I was definitely surprised to say the least. The extra family/friendship I have gained from surrogacy is something I often struggle to put into words. The love and support I share with these 3 women are beyond what I ever dreamed or expected. We all share something most others will never understand. We have been together during some of the most important and exciting times of each other’s lives. We have also been together through some of the saddest and most difficult.
These women/families have literally seen me naked pushing out their babies. Poor Molly and Jon watched me bleed out. They have watched me cry and held me for epidurals. Let me squeeze hands while I was pushing and held my super heavy legs up. 😆
So often you hear of mean, jealous, gossiping women. We have all met women like this. I am happy to say I have created friendships and bonds with women that are 100% not like that! I love that through all my journeys I have built real life long friends. Molly was so supportive and excited when I helped Jenn! Now here Jenn is being so supportive when I try to help Karen. The exciting texts and calls for big days don’t go unnoticed. I love that we all share something that no one else could possibly understand.
I’m sad these women couldn’t carry their own babies but how blessed am I that I was able to meet them because of it. My life would be so very different without all these people in it.
Jenn these flowers mean more then you know. Your family and our friendship is such a wonderful gift to me and my family.
Molly and Karen have called multiple times sent texts and left sweet messages checking in on me. It’s all these things that make the hard times worth it. I know the exciting times are coming and all the sad hard times will be worth it. ❤️
People tell me over and over how wonderful or special I am. Seriously my hand to God I am the one to have been blessed beyond measure by these families I have helped. It’s indescribable. 🥰
Well beta day is usually filled with excitement trying to think of how high your first beta numbers may be. They like to see over 100. Obviously with all my negative tests I wasn’t expecting a good outcome. I won’t lie though I was still secretly hoping for a miracle.
I got the results about 2ish they called and I already knew because I had checked my quest email a few minutes before. It was definitely negative. I know I/we gave this baby girl all we could and for some reason God must have had another plan. It 100% still sucks and I hate it. This part never seems fair. I mean we did EVERYTHING we were supposed to do. All my meds all my appointments looked good. My lining was triple striped. The embryos are all genetically tested and graded. All they can say is sorry and sometimes it still doesn’t work. 😔
I take comfort in knowing that I did my very best to give her a loving, thick, warm little uterus to try her very best to snuggle into. I feel grateful knowing that I am trusted by Karen and Rodger to hold their baby until she or he is ready for this great big world. What a honor and privilege it is for these families to trust me with literally the most precious cargo. ❤️
If I’m trying to find a bright side then these are the things.
1. I stop meds today so no more butt shots! I now get a break for a bit.
2. I’m going to have a drink tonight! I deserve it! 😂
3. I get to go back to Chicago and visit my friends again. I’ll bring them more salsa too!
So now the plan is to stop meds wait for a terrible period and start birth control again. Then I will go right back into Lupron and eventually progesterone in oil again before transfer (butt shots). Then transfer another sweet embryo into my uterus again. I’m sad but also happy to have a plan moving forward. Here is to a hopeful may transfer!
Sorry I also hate when I post the negative sad stuff but it’s real and sadly part of the process.
The new puppy gave me lots of love. We got our kit kit a sweater and she’s not a fan. 😂
My Bump, Their Bun 