Tag Archives: surrogacy

Happy 9 weeks and 3 days

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How’s Baby Mac?

Happy 9 weeks. Things are going along pretty well. I’ve still been feeling pretty good. I have had a few days were I felt nauseous and just not good. But it hasn’t been to bad. My legs are also super crazy itchy from the meds I guess. So much so that I accidentally bruised myself pretty bad. I swear I didn’t think I was scratching that hard. Just 12 more days of meds. Not that I have a count down. 😂 I get asked alot how I’m feeling and I generally always say I feel good and fine. Because that’s generally true. We did have a scare last week though I had some slight spotting of brown blood. It’s never a good thing to see blood when you are pregnant. I tried to relax and not worry. I went to the dr and thankfully baby Mac was just fine in there. We didn’t get an explanation for what or why the bleeding happened. Thankfully since then I have had nothing though so that makes things much better!

I’ve had a couple people also ask about cravings. I guess I would say I am maybe craving soups? Lol I have been eating lots of soup the last week or two. I also always crave fruit in the beginning of my pregnancy’s. I’ve always loved fruit but, with each pregnancy I feel like I just want yummy ripe fruit all the time. Our next appointment is November 3rd. Karen is going to be in town for this one. I’m excited for her to be here. It feels like it’s been forever since I have seen her now. I’m thinking of all the fun St. Louis things to show her. Mostly food! 😆

Baby Mac is now almost an inch long (.9 inches), the size of a pecan, and though they’re not fully developed, all of their essential muscles and body parts are present. Your little one’s kidneys, liver, brain and lungs that are all starting to function on their own too, and they’re even starting to develop taste buds! Although Baby Mac’s eyes are forming more complex structures, their eyelids will shortly fuse shut for another four months or so. Your baby’s inner ear is also beginning to form the fluid that will allow them to develop a sense of balance. Baby Mac also has toes, bones in their arms, and joints that bend in their elbows.

Perhaps the most exciting part about week 9 is the increased likelihood that you may be able to hear Baby Mac’s heartbeat using a fetal doppler, a super special first for you and your little one. Baby Mac’s heart has been beating for a while now, but now it’s really starting to develop, forming distinct chambers and valves. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

My poor leg!

Happy 8 weeks today!

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I have a drs appointment at 10:45 but figured I would update now. So far things have been going great. I feel totally normal as usual other then the pregnancy headaches I get from time to time. I haven’t had any this week though so that’s been really nice! On one hand I’m so surprised it’s been so hard and taken us this long to get here. This has definitely been my hardest ivf experience. So so many shots and the emotions can be overwhelming. On the other hand I’m like WOW 8 weeks! I seriously can’t believe I’m 2 months in. It almost makes me sad really. I just love pregnancy so much and everything goes so quickly. Im really trying to enjoy each and every step knowing this is my very last one. 😔 (I know I have said my last one like the last 3 😂) This is baby number 7 though so this should probably be it. Ricky is ready for me to be done. I on the other hand would honestly probably have babies for people until I was 50 if I could! I think there will always be apart of me that is sad knowing I will never be pregnant again. That these are the last baby movements I will get to feel. That this birth will be it. My last. Sad is the only word I have for that. It’s sad.

I also know how blessed I am though that my body has done all of these thing. That God has allowed me to have my two perfect babies and then go on to have 4 more with 5 cooking! 7 babies honestly doesn’t even seem real to me. I am so blessed to have had all these babies. I love my little part in their big lives. I’m so excited for this pregnancy to progress and for all the fun things I know are coming. Her little movements! That’s always my favorite. I want to slow down though and not rush this. I’m sure Karen and Rodger are the opposite they obviously want this time to go quickly so they can have her back. I guess I hope times goes slower for me and super fast for them. 😆 That seems fair!

Like I said I feel great. Some of my pants feel tight at the end of my day but that’s what stretchy leggings are for! I wouldn’t say I’m craving anything really yet. Oh I forgot to say I will get to stop my meds and shots on Oct 28th!!! I do want to rush that part by. Obviously the shots are zero fun and then I feel like I’m a regular pregnant person when I don’t have to stab and inject myself every single day. (Worth it though)

I still hope and pray that baby girl is growing and enjoying her cozy little belly home. It’s amazing to me every single time I read what the baby is doing and how they are growing. Each pregnancy this part excites me. I love seeing and reading all about it on my pregnancy apps. It’s so amazing how fast they grow and all the changes that happen in 9ish short months.

As always thanks everyone for the love and support.

At eight weeks pregnant, Baby Mac is dancing up a storm and won’t be an embryo for much longer!

How’s Baby Mac?

Baby Mac is in their last few days of being an embryo, which means that the brand new, teeny tiny internal organs and systems under their see-through skin are almost all formed, though they’ll continue to develop over the next several months. That tail is also celebrating its last hurrah, and pretty soon it will disappear completely. Baby Mac’s webbed fingers and toes are poking out from their little limbs, which are growing longer every day. And your little one’s facial features are becoming more prominent, as their lips, nose, and eyelids are looking increasingly human-like. Your strawberry-sized bundle of joy is also moving around like crazy, although you almost certainly cannot feel it. Baby Mac’s head, still tiny compared to yours but large in proportion to the rest of their body, now makes up half of their total body weight!

What’s new with you?

Your baby bulge might start protruding at this time, as your appetite increases to match Baby Mac’s. The placenta is also picking up its hormone production, giving yours a break. You’ll likely start to see fewer mood swings soon.

If you’re noticing new growth at your midsection, it may not be a baby bump just yet. At this point it’s probably just water retention. While you might not be showing yet, your uterus has already started growing, and that growth is only going to speed up in the coming weeks!

If you’ve had a good appetite so far in pregnancy, some of that growth at your midsection could also be whatever foods you’ve been noshing on. (If you haven’t experienced any morning sickness yet, there’s a good chance you’re not going to — lucky you!) And if you’ve been experiencing cravings, you’re not alone. Many pregnant folks experience cravings during pregnancy. Cravings are a lot like aversions in that we don’t know exactly what causes them, though it seems likely that it’s got something to do with all the hormones coursing through your body. One theory is that cravings point out nutrients you need more of in your life. Cravings probably also have as much to do with your need for stress relief or your heightened sense of smell as they do with anything else. Keep in mind that cravings are not your enemy — they’re a normal part of pregnancy. So whether you’re craving spicy sweet potatoes or caramel ice cream, an oat milk latte or pan-fried tilapia, if you want to follow through on those cravings, know that it’s okay to do so in moderation. (Though if you’re craving non-food items, like dirt or paint, be sure to speak to your healthcare provider, as you may be experiencing pica, a nutrient deficiency.) Remember that when it comes to your diet, it’s really all about balance.

But if eating is a struggle right now and you’re feeling rather nauseous — and for many folks morning sickness can be rather rough at this time — trying sucking on a ginger lollipop or switching to a chewable prenatal vitamin. You might also consider eating smaller meals while increasing the number of times you eat throughout the day. And if your morning sickness is really bad or you are concerned about dehydration, speak to your provider.

And if you don’t typically engage in physical activity or just haven’t been feeling up to it recently, you may want to see if you can engage in a half hour of light exercise or some gentle movement each day — doing some movement that you feel good about can help you feel much better on all fronts

This was me the other night. My belly was very big so I’m blaming this tiny strawberry girl. 😂

Ultrasound day!

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Today was our first ultrasound. Baby girl was in there and her little heart was flickering on the screen. It was such a beautiful little thing to see. We have all worked so so hard to get here. I’m so happy that it seems like we have made it to the other side now. I hope she keeps growing big and strong. I’m just so happy and thankful. She had a heart rate of 110 bpm

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE✨

Happy 6 weeks

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Today I am 6 weeks according to my pregnancy app. I just did an ivf calculator online and it said our due date would be May 18th. That seems like a great due date to me! Tomorrow at 1:30 will be my first ultrasound where they are looking for baby girl and looking for a heartbeat. They said sometimes you can’t see the heartbeat but I’ve always been able to see one at our first appointment so I sure hope we can this time too. I’m excited and a tiny bit anxious just because I was so worried about our first number of 44. But she sure has made up for it in all the following beta numbers! She more then doubled every single one.

Im feeling totally fine other then my darn pregnancy headaches and being a little extra tired. Im thankful for it all though because we worked so so hard to get here. My butt is getting pretty lumpy and sore as well. You should see all my sharps boxes full of needles! There is so so many. I sure hope tomorrow I have a wonderful ultrasound and get to share the good news with you all. Thanks for all the continued prayers I appreciate each and every one!

What is baby Mac up to this week?

Pregnancy is in full bloom, and unfortunately some common symptoms might be starting to kick up now too.

How’s Baby Mac?

Baby Mac is now the size of a chocolate chip, measuring approximately 1/4-1/2 an inch long. This may not seem huge, but just think about how much your little one has grown in the past month, from a tiny collection of cells to the increasingly complex human being-to-be who is currently in the process of sprouting all of their facial features. Your baby’s cute little nose and curious eyes are just starting to form, although right now they merely look like little dark spots on an oversized head. Passages and arches that will grow and develop into parts of Baby Mac’s ears and jaw are forming, and their nose won’t be far behind.

Development of Baby Mac‘s lower body lags behind that of the upper, making them look a bit like a mermaid, and they may already be wiggling their flipper-like arms! Baby Mac is also starting to straighten out from their formerly curled position, and that tail is making its way to its final destination in their back.

These upcoming weeks are some of the most important for Baby Mac developmentally, so if you aren’t on a prenatal vitamin yet, it’s important to start taking one immediately. During this week, Baby Mac’s neural tube is beginning to close,  so it’s especially important to be getting folic acid — from prenatal vitamins, as well as from the rest of your diet — as it can help prevent neural tube defects.

What’s new with you?

A lot of changes are happening!

One big change you might already notice is feeling tired. But not just normal tired. Even though your body hasn’t grown in size much yet, it’s doing a lot of work that can leave you fatigued. Your body is producing significantly more blood than it’s used to in order to get nutrients to Baby Mac, which is an energy expense that may leave you with lower blood pressure and lower blood sugar. The added progesterone coursing around your body could also be tiring you out. If you feel like you can manage, going for a walk, doing some gentle yoga, or engaging in another physical activity that you enjoy might help a bit: the endorphins you release may make you feel less sluggish. And you should listen to what your body needs and rest, nap, or tuck in for bed early as needed.

Your breasts are also likely to be sore at this time, and your nipples may stick out more than normal. This tenderness will probably last through your first trimester, as your breasts continue to grow. This change is completely normal, and is simply a product of increased blood flow to your chest as your body primes itself for breastfeeding.

And if you’re feeling sick to your stomach right now, you aren’t alone — over 70% of pregnant folks experience nausea in the first trimester. During the sixth week of pregnancy over 80% of pregnant folks experience nausea, which often starts in the morning (hence the term “morning sickness”) before dissipating in the early afternoon. However, this term can sometimes be misleading, because nausea during the first trimester is not exclusive to mornings, and that awful feeling could hit you at any point during the day or night. A few things that may help?

Try eating several small snacks throughout the day, avoiding triggering smells, taking your prenatal vitamins with a meal, having food or drinks with ginger, keeping hydrated, and getting plenty of rest. And if you can’t seem to find much relief, be sure to speak with your healthcare provider. And for serious morning sickness or concern for dehydration, you should definitely speak with your healthcare provider.

Last ultrasound before transfer!

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Ok today was our last ultrasound and blood work before transferring on the 30th! So just 7 days away. I’m happy to report everything looked good lining wise and we are just waiting for my blood work results to come back although I expect them to be fine also. My lining looked to be 14/15 in thickness this week so that’s good they want over a 8 I believe.

We had a great trip in Branson visiting our GG and the kids went back to school yesterday. I’m happy and sad. I love spending summers with the kids but I know they enjoy seeing friends and lord knows they need some structure and less snacks all day! 😂

Karen and I are both feeling excited and anxious. As to be expected I suppose. I still don’t know if I will test this time. My heart and brain are saying no right now at least. I haven’t even bought any tests this time. Usually by now I would have already had a stack ready to go. I’m still hurt by the fact that last time we were pregnant and then suddenly it all just went away. Talk about cruel. We all had the rug ripped from under us. It was just so sad.

I’ve still been doing my acupuncture twice a week and today’s session was my most relaxing yet! I honestly think I fell asleep a bit. I definitely didn’t think I would be able to relax that much knowing I had needles poking out of me. I told Heather my acupuncturist that these were the last two she would see me for and that now all the pressure is on her for our success! Haha She’s so sweet and said she would take all the pressure so I didn’t have it.

Karen already has appointments for me set up when I am in town for the acupuncture the day before and day of transfer. I’m happy to feel like we are doing everything we can to help this little embryo along. We will be transferring another girl this time. I’m praying my body is exactly what she needs and I can provide a soft, fluffy, cozy little home for her until she’s big enough to go live in her home with her mommy and daddy.

Today before I took Everett to school he was asking me if this would be the last baby I would have. I told him I think so as long as the baby sticks in my belly. He said mom you sure have had a lot of babies! I said I know but I really love to be pregnant and have babies. I asked him what he would have thought if I would have wanted that manny babies for our own family and we had to keep them all. He said well I think that’s too many babies for us. Lol he then said if I did have that many to keep he just wanted 4 boys and 4 girls so it could be even. Kids are just so fun.

Well now I’ll just wait for the all clear from Carrie at FCI in chicago. Once she says we are all good I’ll wean off my Lupron this week and I will be doing the big butt shots later this week and all the pills I have to take. Then I’ll fly out Monday and do the transfer on Tuesday. Remember the new motto!

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE ✨

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE✨

✨TRANSFER THREE IS MEANT TO BE✨

Ultrasound number 2

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Yesterday was ultrasound day. These are the ones we do to check my progress to make sure the meds are doing everything they are supposed to so that my body is perfect for transferring the baby. I’ve been on the Lupron this whole time. These are the little belly shots I do everyday. They put my body into menopause essentially. This way they can make sure I don’t ovulate. I get super annoyed and angry very easily. (Even more than usual) 😆

I am now on estrogen pills too. I take 8 a day 4 in the morning and 4 at night. These thicken my uterine lining. They want me to be nice and fluffy for the little embryo! So yesterday’s appointment was to check and see how my lining was looking. I am at a 12! Woohoo that’s great. They just like you to be over an 8 for transfer so I’m already an overachiever. I have two more weeks before transferring so I will get even thicker. Emotionally I’ve been feeling ok. My estrogen is pretty high with all these extra pills so I can cry over just about anything and that’s definitely not my norm. I’m excited to see Karen, Rodger and the pups in a couple weeks. I’m excited and anxious about this transfer. I know it will feel that much sweeter once we actually get pregnant though.

Here at home Kailynn is starting middle school this year and she’s so nervous and excited. She goes on Monday. I always hate how fast summers seem to go by. I love our pool days and getting to sleep in and stay up late. Everett is all ready for 4th grade. We sent Bo off to puppy boot camp (training) he will be back in about a week and a half and I’m so excited. I have missed my big fluffy puppy. Hopefully he will be better mannered and excited to come home. I’ll get to see him for about 2 days before I fly out to chicago.

Currently I am in a hotel in Branson mo. We are visiting our GG! We are just spending as much time with her as she wants us too. We have been doing some chores to help her around the house. I think we will try to get some fun in too. The kids love doing miniature golf here and honestly so do I! My next ultrasound is next Tuesday so I’ll update after that one also. As long as that one looks good they will clear me to come the next week for the transfer. My new motto is transfer three is meant to be! ❤️🤞❤️

Branson car ride
Coffee outside of the hotel
Puppy boot camp with a crazy friend 🥰
What a handsome guy 😍
So much estrogen! 😆

First ultrasound today.

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I’ve been on the Lupron but today was our first ultrasound and blood work. I got up got there. I was just expecting my usual when all the sudden she says oh well looks like you have a fibroid! I was shocked and didn’t know what to think. I immediately said well I bet this cycle is canceled. I have never had a fibroid as far as I know but I figured no way it was a good thing. My ultra sonographer was so sweet and did her best to talk me off my ledge. She explained that they are very common and that it was actually super tiny and not at all in the way of my lining. It was nice but I definitely was still upset. I even told her I probably wouldn’t see her next week. 😔

As soon as I got to the car I called Karen. I explained what they say and that the ultra sonographer was not worried but I really was. I was super upset because they made me be put under for the HSC procedure to check for any polyps scar tissue etc. this was literally 30 days ago and they said everything was all good and clear. How the heck does this just happen? I was honestly heart broken. I just felt like my body was giving up on us. I called Ricky and he was nice and too calm about it all. I just wanted someone else to also feel horrible about the news and to be sad and angry with me but he wasn’t. He told me there was only room for one of us to be all worried and worked up. That’s true and I’m glad he didn’t also freak out with me. It really wouldn’t have done me any good.

I went straight to acupuncture and was in tears. Going twice a week I feel like we are all besties there now. 😂 The girls were so kind and I explained what the ultrasound showed and Heather just listened and put in my needles. I closed my eyes and just rested and prayed. I prayed it would go away and that it wouldn’t be an issue for baby being able to implant. I prayed that we wouldn’t have to cancel it all and do more tests and procedures. I actually really did get to relax while I was there. I did feel more calm and at peace while I was laying there. I needed that because I was obnoxiously stressed and anxious at this point.

Once I was done I went to the car to come home and I decided to just call FCI and ask to talk to a nurse. Thankfully I was able to get through quickly and tell her what happened and ask her opinion. I knew she didn’t have the official report yet but I told her I just couldn’t wait all day waiting to hear if it was likely going to be bad news. So I told her everything I was told and waited for her to tell me what I just knew was the bad news coming our way. 😔

Much to my surprise she wasn’t surprised or shocked in the least. She said it was super common and that if didn’t sound like I should be worried at all. She said obviously she needed to see the report and have the DR go over it but that she didn’t expect it to be anything to worry about especially since we just did the HSC test. This was very reassuring for the time being. I called Karen and cried a bit because I was so relieved that my body was still ok and working hard for us.

I real take this so so seriously! It’s not lost on me how much trust these families have put into me. I just need to learn to not put so much pressure on myself. I know I can only do so much it’s just hard to remind myself of that. I had to wait a few more hours to wait for the other nurse to call me and really confirm all was ok. I let the doubts and anxiety slip back in. I always go to the worst case scenarios.

When she called I was of course with a client at work but she was so kind and let me answer. Thankfully they re confirmed all was still a go and that it was super super tiny and not of concern. I could have cried again. So in a few days now I will be adding in the estrogen to start bulking up and building my lining to a super thick and cozy home the new little embryo! I’m praying so hard that this little one is actually the one. The third times the charm!!!

I’m hoping at next week’s appointment my fibroid has just disappeared or that it at least stays small and doesn’t get in the way of anything. Thanks as usual to everyone for the thoughts and prayers during all this. It’s such a crazy roller coaster of emotions. I’ll update next week after our next appointment.

Med start day round 3.

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Today is the day I’ll start all the meds again. I feel excited and anxious if that makes sense. I’m excited to be moving forward and trying again but I’m anxious knowing the transfer could fail again. I’m going to remain positive and pray for the best we all want this so badly. I feel like it just has to work this time. We are doing everything we can. Acupuncture twice a week and it’s going well. It is definitely starting to become more relaxing. I actually look forward to it! I’m hopeful that this will help with the little embryo to help him or her dig in deep. The studies seem to show it’s very helpful so why not. I will do acupuncture twice a week up until transfer and then I will do it an hour before and after the transfer!

Then as usual it’s a waiting game. That’s the difficult part. It’s hard to not get my hopes up every time. I want to be cautious but it’s hard to not get excited and think about how great it will all be as long as everything works. I have had a few dreams here lately where Rodger and Karen are at our home and drs appointments and stuff. I’m hoping that’s God reassuring me that it will work and this third try is the one!

Other then that life has been good. Getting the kids ready for school and soaking up every bit of summer I can get. We haven’t been to the pool as much this year. I need to get a few more days in before school goes back. We are also going to see GG for an extended weekend. We are all excited to visit her and I’m sure do a couple fun things with the kids when we are there. She lives in Branson area so there is plenty to see and do with the kids. I’ll update more often now that I’ve started meds again and will be having all the ultrasounds. This time just has to be it. Third times the charm.

Additional testing

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So after our last failed transfer/chemical pregnancy our RE recommend a HSC test. This is where they put me under and insert a scope into my vagina and into my uterus. This is so they can see very clearly. They wanted to look for any polyps or scar tissue. If they find anything they could remove it while I was under. I had mixed feelings about doing the procedure. I was still sad and angry the last one didn’t work and the baby stopped growing. I know it’s good news that the baby attached obviously I can get pregnant she just wasn’t able to keep growing for some reason. The nurse explained to me that no matter how great the testing is there is only a 40/50 percent chance of the embryo sticking. She said while the testing has come so far and they can test for so many things they still have lots they can not test for. Karen said I could make the decision on doing the test or not but I knew if we didn’t do the test we would wonder and wish we had if another transfer failed.

We had already planned the trip to chicago for the 4th of July holiday. So we pushed for them to squeeze me in while I was already there. So July 5th Karen and I went for the procedure. I really felt calm and not worried. I didn’t think they would really see anything because I’ve never had any issues before. I wanted to be sure though. I didn’t want Karen and Rodger to waste time and money on transfers if for some reason it was me. The whole process was less then 20 mins. I had to recover from the anesthesia for longer then the test took! 😆 Karen got some really great videos of me. I was planning shopping trips to buy new purses and not telling Ricky. I also tried to get Karen to come snuggle with me under the warm blanket they brought. I was very excited about my Ginger ale soda and said it was extra good with a splash of vodka. So many funny things. The perks of this test was they know right away if there are issues or not. Thankfully all looked great. They said there was just a tiny spot and they went ahead and removed it but that all looked really good and that we should have no problems moving forward.

So we went out last night to celebrate the good news. I may have had one too many celebration drinks. 😂 We all just had such a great time. The kids loved Chicago and were sad to leave. Karen and Rodger were great hosts and we really enjoyed our stay. We did the Field Museum and the shed aquarium plus Ricky took the kids to see the bean! I was able to spend a few hours with Molly, Jon and the girls. We went to the zoo. We watched fireworks and ate lots of food too. All in all this trip was a great success. Now we wait and see when we can start meds again and try again. Say it with me. Third times the charm!!! I’ve never worked this hard to have a baby but we are committed and I’m ready for this next try. We have decided to try acupuncture to help as well. I have read some really promising studies on it with ivf. I will be meeting with an acupuncturist to see her recommendations.

I met with her this week and she has me going 2 times a week and will be focusing on reducing stress and working on all the perfect points to aid in our ivf journey! I also got an updated cycle calendar yesterday. So we have a new transfer date of August 30th. As I said before I have never needed to work this hard for a ivf cycle to work. I’m really hoping and praying that this next little embryo is the one God has planned for me to carry and grow until he or she is ready to meet his or her parents. We are all scared and excited. As always the emotions run high during these times. I’m honestly not sure if I’ll be testing this time. My heart is saying no but I also know I have like zero will power after. I can’t lie I’m just worried about another chemical. It really sucked seeing positive pregnancy tests and then being told We were not pregnant. I know these things happen and so many others have struggled with chemical pregnancy, ectopic pregnancies and blighted ovum’s. I never knew there could be so many things that could go wrong until I pursued surrogacy. It breaks my heart that so many struggle with things like this. I just have to keep praying that it’s Gods will for me to be able to help Karen and Rodger with their family. I can only imagine how sweet and satisfying it will be to see them with their baby on its first birthday! That’s why I know all these hormones and shots will be worth it. It’s always worth it when I see these families and all the love that goes into creating them. I’ll add some fun vacation pictures for you all.

Testing day
The kids LOVED the stair case 😂 hours of entertainment
That iPad…
Swimming
The 4th of July party on the 3rd 😂
This pizza
Sue the T. rex
Sweet Steven ❤️
Can you believe I birthed them all! Plus 2 more!

3 day past 6 day transfer

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I’m officially 3 days past the transfer at like 10 am today. I’m still in Chicago. I stayed in bed for two solid days. Day of transfer and the day after. Yesterday I ventured out and walked around. The weather was gorgeous low 70’s. I had some cramping the first day and a half I would say. Now nothing. It’s so hard knowing they put the embryo in and now you have to wait and over analyze every little thing. I have hours where I’m so at peace and confident that this time it’s the time. I feel like we had such a great transfer day. The embryo looked SO SO great and my lining was even thicker then last time. Plus the music gave me such comfort. It all seemed so meant to be. But then I also have too much time on my hands because I’m here alone 😂. That’s when my brain starts saying STOP you can’t be too excited Rashel. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Then I spiral into what if it fails again. What if I take test after test and they are all white again. I will once again have to feel all the emotions while on all these crazy medications. Then I pick myself back up and say no stay positive. I know I have done everything perfectly. Taken all the meds and all the appointments looked great. My body has done everything it’s supposed to so that this little girl should want to stay. It’s now up to her, God and science!

I did finish my book and have watched some tv. Today is my last day in Chicago I go home tomorrow morning. Today is a BIG day for Karen she has been working hard for this fundraising event to help the boys and girls club. They will all get to wear gorgeous gowns and drink and dance the night away. Hopefully they raise lots of money from the auction to help the club. I get to go do hair for everyone tonight before they go out! I’m excited for that.

We decided to take our test tomorrow morning before I leave for the airport. I didn’t want to test today and her be sad or disappointed for the event she worked so hard for. Plus hopefully tomorrow we can have a stronger line on the test anyway. I keep visualizing there being two lines. We want it so bad. I know even if a line doesn’t show up tomorrow we would have time for it to show up but it sure would be nice to see it earlier. I really want Karen to have such great news.

Karen also gave me one of the best gifts ever while I was here. She is seriously too kind and a wonderful gift giver. She gave me a copy of a special poem that has significant meaning to her and Rodger. They always tell each other they have each other’s hearts and carry them. So then she gave me a heart necklace to Symbolize that I get to carry their baby’s heart! You guys 😭😭😭😭 it was so so beautiful. The meaning behind it is so incredibly beautiful. I am so lucky to be trusted with peoples most precious of things. Their babies! That will never be lost on me. I just keep praying so hard that this little girl is strong! That she can find a perfect cozy spot inside of me so that she can live and grow! So I can hold and protect her tiny heart until she’s big enough and ready to go to her mommy and daddy! I will keep this necklace on forever. ❤️🥰❤️

For a funny story yesterday Ricky told me that the cardinals were actually here in Chicago playing! I had no idea. So I was with Molly and I teased him that Molly just said I could go with them! (They always get season tickets and he knows it) I will upload the screen shots from our text. Let’s just say Ricky wasn’t happy that he didn’t get to go. 😂 But then when I got back to the room I had a delivery! It was an edible arrangement. Now I felt extra bad for the trick because I still hadn’t told him I wasn’t actually going to the game. Turns out he went to his physical therapy appointment and told everyone there how excited he was for me that I was going to a cards cubs game at Wrigley Field. 😆

So I will update everyone tomorrow at some point about our first test. Please PLEASE be praying and sending all your good thoughts and emotions our way. We need them. here are the fun pictures so far.

First messages!
Second message and then he FaceTimed us! 😂
I just happened to have packed one cards shirt so I put it on to show him I was going! 😂
My delicious delivery
❤️😘❤️
The poem. ❤️😭❤️
It’s so so pretty
It’s perfect!!!