So I decided while I have to wait for the right couple to come along I could make my blog pretty. So I worked for two days trying to just add a backround. I’m not good with computer stuff so this was a task! Lindsay was there to see how hard I worked lol! but I finally figured out how to do it! I also was able to add the other blogs I like to read so go read there’s! I’m so excited for alvina and her ips!!! she’s pregnant her blogs on my list if you want to read it. Sorry there was nothing exciting but I hope you like the yellow backround lol!!!

Well I got to talk with the owner of the agency and she said there still trying to match me and that the couple that had my portfolio were still talking about how much they liked me she said the husband was more worried about where I lived. And I can understand wanting there surrogate to live as close as possible I mean I would love for my ips (intended parents) to live close but I know that’s not how it normally works. So I guess for now I’m still waiting and praying for the right couple to come. That’s my little update for now.

Well I should know to NOT get my hopes up by now but nope I do it over and over again its a flaw of mine I guess… the couple after having my profile for two weeks has decided that I live to far away??? I’m angry for one I mean they were aware for two weeks where I lived if that was a big deal they should have known that alrwady right?  I jumped through all there hoops just to be turned down. I feel like they could have just told me right away they didn’t like that then I wouldn’t have had to wonder and be excited for TWO weeks!!! But I guess that just means its not the couple GOD wants for me yet again I have to wait wait wait..I’m hoping it won’t take long and they will have a new match for me. Sorry to have to give everyone bad news I was hopping my next post would be a super exciting one. 

Sorry I haven’t updated much but not much has been happening. They had been waiting for my insurance letter to say I was approved and I just got that today!!! So I hope that makes them feel better about me and we can get there info soon! I just keep thinking of what they may look like and be like I wonder what they do for work and lots of silly things lol. I can’t wait to see all there info I was thinking I was so worried about them liking me I wonder if they have the same fear? I mean how scary for them to like me then have to hope I think there deserving enough to have a child! I mean that’s so horrible to have to feel that way and rely on someone else to pick them! I feel like I already love them for what they have had to go through up to this point. What a struggle for any marriage and couple to go through. I feel like no one ever really hears about women who long to be mothers and the pain they must go through day by day hoping and praying for the child they have loved for so long that’s not even here yet. It makes me feel that much more blessed to have my kids and sad for the people in the world that don’t love there kids the way they should! Well that’s my update sorry it wasn’t super exciting I hope ill get there info soon and get to give you all more info!!!

So I finally got some news last night and I know the couple likes me but they don’t want to commit to me untill they find out more about my insurance. I can understand that were waiting to make sure I’m approved (I’m not worried) and to get the policy info in the mail to check to see what all it covers. But I’m relieved to know that they like me! So it will be another week or so I would think before I can get there info slight bummer for me. I have been dreaming about this couple and our hopeful journey!!! I hope this week goes fast!!!

So no news yet its been killing me the waiting!!! But I spoke with my agency yesterday and I was just thinking they could look at our pictures and my med record and just say yep I love her lol. But I wasn’t thinking of all the things they must think about! Not only my med records but the money involved and my insurance and lots of other things!!! I feel bad for not thinking of all that before so now I have been praying that God will bless them and show them what to do. I know I can’t wait to do this and bless a family but it has to be in Gods time not mine. Sadly I think God loves to test me in the waiting game I’ve never been good with waiting for his time lol! So I hope ill know something tonight but if not I know it will happen. I just hope I’m a great fit for this family and if not I hope they find someone that is!!!

Well its snowing like crazy here I guess were the eye of the storm were suposed to get 9 to 12 inches!!! I’m glad work closed down and let me leave I doubt anyone wanted haircuts today anyway!!! I started taking prenatal pills joni the lady that works with my agency said it was ok. So I figure ill do what ever I can to help this baby!!! I can’t believe tomorrow they may be giving my portfolio to the couple I just keep praying there the right couple for me! I have been reading other blogs and its so exciting but I’m also super scared because some of them don’t get along with there ips the whole time or don’t get to talk with them much after the baby is born! Don’t get me wrong I know its not my baby but I know I will love it and I just want such a great relationship with my ips that that scares the crap out of me!!! Well I guess that’s all for now ill make sure I update you all as soon as I know they have sent off my portfolio! !!!

Well everyone said start a blog so here it is lol! I’m still just starting out and all my feelings are frustration,  excitement, fear, and joy just to name a few. This has been a long road for me so far and its just starting. I started all this in december but have wanted to do it for a long time. Thanks to my friend Sierra who helped me talk to the right people I am moving along. My first agency didn’t work out but I was sent to another and I’m just waiting to be matched now. I feel like i have been waiting for this for a LONG time. All I know about the couple that they will be sending my portfolio to is that they live in North Carolina! I just have to hope they really like me I guess! I have been praying a lot about this I pray that its what God wants me to do and that this couple and my family get along well that I can bless them with what they have been wanting for so long and that my family can be understanding of my decision to do this. I can not wait to see the joy I can bring to this couple! I actually feel bad about it sometimes that I feel like I will be gaining so much from this journey!  Well I guess time will tell if they like me I know I won’t know much untill monday that’s when they will be ready to send out my portfolio. Untill then I will just keep praying that they are the family God wants me to help complete with there beautiful new bundle of joy!