Terrible news

Today was beta day. This week was going great I had a wonderful birthday. My tests we’re looking good I thought. I even had a positive test on the digital. The blood work came back as not pregnant. This means I had a chemical pregnancy. An early miscarriage. It’s the worst feeling. I’m being very raw and honest here. I’m super angry. I’m angry at God. I trusted his peace and comfort. The tests said yes. They all said yes. Even the digital said the words pregnant. There is zero way of mistaking that. I was pregnant this baby attached and then she just stopped growing for some reason. It’s not fair. Im still waiting on the dr to call me and that makes me mad too. Why do I get the results faster then the dr? I sent them an email and they still haven’t called. I called Karen. It was the literal worst. I hated every ring. I hated knowing I was going to be the one to give her the worst news. I hated crying and telling her the awful news neither of us expected or wanted. But I also couldn’t let some random nurse tell her either. Especially after all the positive tests. We were waiting for good news big numbers not this. I wish I could make it all better. I wish she would have kept growing. Online it says usually in chemical pregnancy’s it means something was wrong with the embryo as it was growing. I’m not sure if this is supposed to make anyone feel better or not. It doesn’t make me feel any better. This is all I have to say today. We are sad and we have broken hearts. Please pray for Karen and Rodger.


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