Happy April 1st. Today is the day Karen and I have been waiting on where she will come over and we will take a home pregnancy test together. We have both been anxious the last day and a half at least. We had wonderful massages and pedicures yesterday so that helped take our minds off it a bit. It’s 6:00 am and we are not testing until 11:30 ish. I will officially be 4dp 6dt! I am excited and terrified all at the same time. On one hand I feel like a line is for sure going to pop right up. I feel it. I feel so tired and I definitely had the cramping and I felt like I could really smell stuff too! Yesterday after my nap I felt so nauseous for like an hour or more. The problem is I obviously over analyze everything because I know they put a baby in there! The pio butt injections are also supposed to literally make my body think it’s pregnant so it really could all be tied to that as well.

It’s honestly hard to distinguish how real it is. They just have me on so many drugs. I keep telling myself even if there is not a line it’s totally ok and we have plenty of time. While I know that’s technically true it will also still be crushing to not have a second line today. I’ve never tested in person with anyone before. It’s one thing to call and tell someone you don’t see anything yet. It’s a whole new thing to have her go look and SEE her disappointment. Thats my biggest fear right now. But the other side of that coin is I could be seeing joy, excitement, happy tears and pure happiness. That’s obviously the outcome I really really want to happen.

I have had a couple people ask if I would cheat and test before we test together and I won’t/wouldn’t. I want this to be real and authentic no matter what today’s outcome may be. That’s not to say I haven’t been tempted believe me I have! Yesterday in my transfer group two other girls who transferred the same day as me all got very faint positive tests. I am so excited for them and hopefully things continue in the right direction and the lines just keep getting brighter. I even asked Karen yesterday if she wanted to just try testing yesterday after our appointment and she’s obviously way stronger then me because I was ready to cave and go for it. She said no let’s just go ahead and wait until tomorrow! I’m positive that was the better choice 😂.

So now I just keep waiting until 11:30 rolls around and we get to take a test. I just wanted to get my real thoughts and emotions out here before it was actually test time. I will update with the good or not good news later. (Hopefully hopefully good) I will also add a picture of my test I took last time when it was positive at 4 days past transfer! This looks me I feel like was super bright and it was with baby Oliver. I hope this baby Girl is digging in deep and throwing out tons of hcg as well.

Ok it’s now 11:13 and Karen is on her way. I’m seriously sooooo anxious 😬 it’s terrible terrible. I don’t know why we thought this was a good idea. 😂 Oh please please let this turn out ok.

Ok it’s now 5:23 so way later sorry guys. Karen got here and I peed. I brought the cup out so we could do them together and walk away.

We waited the 3 mins like the first response test said and I told Karen to go look. She did and sadly she said she didn’t see anything. I also went to look and I also didn’t see any lines or shadows. 😞 I obviously felt terrible and kept saying sorry. Karen took it well. Well as well as anyone could. We were just so hopeful obviously. We also both know 4dpt is super early still. I wanted to just cancel lunch and tell her to go without me. But we packed up and went to meet her friend Genevieve. I honestly had the best time!!! It was exactly what I needed I just wanted to crawl back in bed, cry and sleep. I’m so happy I didn’t. We laughed and talked for hours. She was so much fun and definitely my kind of person to hang out with. Obviously Karen only has the best friends! Everyone she knows is just incredible. ❤️ They both had drinks and I had some decaf coffees and lemon water. The food was great we went to RH and it’s just a beautiful spot. We also saw a couple get engaged!!! How adorable is that. Anyway Karen dropped me back off at the hotel and Ricky said he got me a surprise. He got me a chocolate cake to make me feel better.

He then saw me pick up the test again and I swore I could see a line now… He also said he saw it earlier but didn’t want to say anything to me. 😂 He knows I’m a psycho.

So I obviously immediately called Karen and was like wait now we see something! I did my best to take pictures and show her. It’s definitely outside the window of accurate test results so it could be a false positive perhaps but I’m going to hope and pray it’s not and that as the days go on the line gets darker and brighter. Regardless I go on the 7th for the official blood work. The good news is they have more embryos also and I know we can try again. I don’t want to have to but we can. 🥰 I’ll post the pictures of the dried test so you all can see also. Let’s all pray and cross all our fingers and toes for us to get brighter stronger lines in the official time frame so we can feel great about all this. We are going out to dinner tonight and we fly home tomorrow morning.